Doc_Jude
3rd Black Belt
You know you've been in the martial arts too long when you....
- can't walk by anyone in your school without exchanging a flurry of mock strikes and kicks.
- have the urge to bow everytime you leave or enter a room.
- are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.
- think to yourself while trying on pants: "Nice pants, but I don't think I can kick in them well."
- find your practicing staff techniques in miniature with your pencil during dull meetings.
- find yourself practicing stances while waiting in line.
- practice your techniques in the parking lot while waiting for someone to come out of the store
- (and almost get the police called upon you because the manager at store thinks your weird.)
- open and close doors with spinning kicks.
- open doors with a punch or an intentionally executed palm strike.
- buy shoes because they are flexible or have steel toes.
- when buying those shoes, you don't walk or jog around the store, you practice pivots, sweeps, stances, and kicks.
- when you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling, and in anger, kick it and damage it.
- practice blocks while driving.
- do Finger Set while sitting at a stop light.
- use various strikes to turn lights on and off (yes, this includes your feet, too.)
- see people covered in a blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital targets.
- can't enjoy a martial art flick anymore because of the unrealistic moves.
notice that you never never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets.
- notice that you always have to sit to face the most people in a cafeteria, restaurant, meeting room. (Can't have your back to the door!)
- keep a martial arts weapon close at hand while you sleep.
- have mastered the reflex to mentally imagine a messy homicide everytime someone asks if you're a black belt after learning you practice martial arts.
- don't use any tools when splitting firewood.
- spend more time surfing martial arts forums instead of doing actual work.
- don't care if the other patrons are looking at you funny.
- there are always more than 10 things in your surrounding, which you can use as a weapon in case of an emergency.
- can't walk by anyone in your school without exchanging a flurry of mock strikes and kicks.
- have the urge to bow everytime you leave or enter a room.
- are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.
- think to yourself while trying on pants: "Nice pants, but I don't think I can kick in them well."
- find your practicing staff techniques in miniature with your pencil during dull meetings.
- find yourself practicing stances while waiting in line.
- practice your techniques in the parking lot while waiting for someone to come out of the store
- (and almost get the police called upon you because the manager at store thinks your weird.)
- open and close doors with spinning kicks.
- open doors with a punch or an intentionally executed palm strike.
- buy shoes because they are flexible or have steel toes.
- when buying those shoes, you don't walk or jog around the store, you practice pivots, sweeps, stances, and kicks.
- when you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling, and in anger, kick it and damage it.
- practice blocks while driving.
- do Finger Set while sitting at a stop light.
- use various strikes to turn lights on and off (yes, this includes your feet, too.)
- see people covered in a blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital targets.
- can't enjoy a martial art flick anymore because of the unrealistic moves.
notice that you never never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets.
- notice that you always have to sit to face the most people in a cafeteria, restaurant, meeting room. (Can't have your back to the door!)
- keep a martial arts weapon close at hand while you sleep.
- have mastered the reflex to mentally imagine a messy homicide everytime someone asks if you're a black belt after learning you practice martial arts.
- don't use any tools when splitting firewood.
- spend more time surfing martial arts forums instead of doing actual work.
- don't care if the other patrons are looking at you funny.
- there are always more than 10 things in your surrounding, which you can use as a weapon in case of an emergency.
