Is it OK for my child to be humiliated?

[Lameman]

That is your assumption, not mine. But if you doubt significant odds can be overcome. Then that is good advice. If not, a good reminder. I assume nearly everyone here has experience fighting. I also assume that not everyone here, has had to fight against significant odds. If they are reading then the advice may serve them well.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Without wandering too far into the politics that are verboten here, I will say there is a huge amount of concern here today, the media and social media are almost melting as Trump has just said he wouldn't rule out a nuclear attack on the UK. It is worrying all sides of the political divide here.

ha ha ha. that's like a 4 year old child or puppy I turn my back for just a few hours and he's already into something else. (not that I would turn my back on a 4 year old for that long but you get the picture lol)

 

[pgsmith]

ha ha ha. that's like a 4 year old child or puppy I turn my back for just a few hours and he's already into something else. (not that I would turn my back on a 4 year old for that long but you get the picture lol)

You'd better not. According to some here, they might seriously injure you.

 

[ballen0351]

Tez3, I could tell you even less believable stories if you would like. I don't really care if you believe them or not. I do hope that when you have to fight against the odds you remember your training and don't let them get into your head.

Tez isn't the only one that thinks your full of it

 

[Lameman]

To each his own. I don't need you to believe anything. There are many things in this world that defy belief, some require first hand witness. Since I can't give you that. Believe what you will.

 

[jezr74]

Hi,

I would like some feedback about something that happened to my son.

I am new to the world of eastern martial arts and the deferential respect for authority that appears to be part of its culture.

About six months ago my 9 year old son joined a local martial arts group. Until a recent event occurred, I was reasonably happy with how the instructor ran the classes, although I find the authoritarianism which seems to go with it a bit strange. I say strange because this is not how my son would be taught at school or how he has been taught in any of the other out of school activities that he has and does pursue.

The circumstances of the event were as follows:
I arrived at the class with my son. As we walked in, I noticed that the instructor was lying on the floor at the front of the class with his feet resting on the crouched body of one of the children. There were giggles and laughter from that child, the other children in the class and from the three or four other parents that were there.

The instructor then said to my son, "Oh, you're late, come here". I don't think we were late because the class had not started. He instructed my son to crouch down so that he could rest his head on my son's back. Some of the children in the class are also my son's schoolmates. This all happened so quickly that although I felt uncomfortable about it, I did not know how to react to it before I left. I had to leave straight away to collect another of my children from my child minder.

Subsequently, on reflection, I felt very angry about what had happened. This action had humiliated my son and myself. My son has taken part in many out of school activities over the years and I have only once before had a problem, which was dealt with immediately and professionally by the activity leader concerned. I am not a serial complainer.

My son was embarrassed by this event. Neither of us wanted to attend the following weeks' lesson and chose not to go. My son wishes to continue with this particular martial art and wishes to attend this particular class because a number of his friends go there. There is no other provider of this particular martial art in our region. Because this is what my son wants, I intend to take him back to this class.

I emailed the instructor two days ago to complain about what I feel is an important child safeguarding issue. I have not had a reply. I have a feeling I will not get a reply.

What I want to know is:
Am I over-reacting?
Am I being too proud?
Is this sort of thing normal in martial arts classes?
How would you feel if this was your child?

Can you give me some guidance?

Michael.

Just because other parents do nothing, it doesn't make it right. The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.

I personally don't like the idea of putting feet on a child to show dominance. (Reminds me of old Kung-fu movies)

But you will find it's fairly common practice in MA, I have noticed a difference in methodology and attitude with clubs where the instructors have child teaching qualifications, I definitely don't think all adults are up to the task of teaching kids.

I personally find that MA only teaches a small amount of discipline by example, IMO it's an environment and tool that can be used to allow the participant to become more disciplined. At a young age it's about getting them to commit to getting to class each week and not skipping or dropping out. As they develop it becomes much more.

 

[ballen0351]

To each his own. I don't need you to believe anything. There are many things in this world that defy belief, some require first hand witness. Since I can't give you that. Believe what you will.

Yes some things do happen yet defy belief and some things are just made up . Your story is the latter

 

[jezr74]

 

[elder999]

Gymnastics...

 

[jezr74]

Gymnastics...

You would have to be correct, the upper body on gymnasts is phenomenal.

 

[Lameman]

I've never had muscles like that. I was usually the weak kid. In high school I couldn't even bench the bar. I'd lose arm wrestling contests to the girls. Not just the strong ones either. Course, if I could get it over my legs, I could get it off the ground.

 

[Tames D]

My style of fighting is so heavily focused on defending myself that I can't use it agressivly at all. You either attack me, or we just stand there. And I have been in many situations where fighting and self defence were not synonymous. When I was 4 I had to fight a 12 year old and his twin brother, and I deformed that poor guy. Didn't realize how badly I had hurt him until I ran into him eight years later and saw what I had made him live with. I made a vow with myself that day, to never do that again if I could help it. Smetimes, it is better to take a beating then to give one. Kinda off subject.

Chuck Norris built the house he was born in.

 

[ballen0351]

Chuck Norris built the house he was born in.

You win

 

[Touch Of Death]

Chuck Norris built the house he was born in.

When he joined the Army, he said, "Well Dad, you are the man of the family, now."

 

[Dirty Dog]

Chuck Norris once peed in the gas tank of a friends truck as a prank.

Today, that truck is known as Optimus Prime.

 

[donald1]

Im not sure I understand what your saying; are you saying the instructor demonstrated a technique on your son?

If thats the case thats just fine Instructors do that all the time. (Especially with tall people)

Though I do understand your concern and it is somewhat reasonable.

 

[Ironbear24]

Sounds like you are over reacting. The sifu was simply joking around with his students.

 

[drop bear]

Im not sure I understand what your saying; are you saying the instructor demonstrated a technique on your son?

If thats the case thats just fine Instructors do that all the time. (Especially with tall people)

Though I do understand your concern and it is somewhat reasonable.

Used the kid as a foot stool.

 

[Tames D]

Used the kid as a foot stool.

So, would the kid be considered an Ottoman?

 

[Lameman]

Wait, wasn't it a headrest?