Yes I was a competitive person but me and my child are different people for sure. Thanks for responding. I am on here to learn what I can and help him. It’s exciting to see him so interested in Tae Kwon Do and seeing his progress so I was just trying to get some advice to help him. I am definitely not stressed about any of this.
Skipping belts for certain students
- Thread starter bree7997
- Start date
And I see what you are saying that all the cultures are different in different schools and depending on the intestructor. I didn’t realize that
lklawson
Grandmaster
I'm glad to hear that.
I wasn't joking about the number of different versions of taekwondo. There are at least half a dozen different type of condo associations and federations for the us alone. Within those associations and federations every dojang will have a slightly different personality.
Fortunately taekwondo is also extremely common so if you don't like that dojang there is almost certainly several more within competitively easy distance.
(mobile)
Thank you so much for this!!! I will definitely be asking what he can work on and I’m so excited to see his enthusiasm for TKD. I certainly don’t have martial arts experience and all I know about it is various videos I have seen on different teaching styles at different schools. I watched some today. There is a lot out there for sure. I truly didn’t realize how each school can be so different. I’m excited to see my son develop his skills. I also see that it’s about the process and each person individually. Thank you so much again for taking time to give me all that information and scenarios that make sense.My opinion of kids, especially young kids in MA is they really aren’t there to be taught textbook MA techniques. Sure that’s a great goal and people think they should be, but there’s a lot of room for “good enough” in technique. The goal for kids should be getting them to love MA training and laying down a good foundation for when they’re older. No matter what you do, a 5 year old isn’t going to learn the motor movement at a level that kids several years older and/or adults are. You may see some kid online who’s performing stuff sharper than most adults, but that’s really an exception. Keeping that in mind, it ties into what’s previously been said about belts.
Do you have any MA experience specifically? Just looking at technique and nothing else, do you know what constitutes good TKD technique? Do you know exactly what to look for? I don’t mean this in a derogatory way. I’ve played sports all my life and teach physical education. I have no Brazilian Jujitsu (BJJ) experience, but I’ve got extensive wrestling experience. Watching BJJ, I honestly wouldn’t be able to evaluate a BJJ guy’s technical skills and determine if that guy should be promoted or not, even though there are some superficial carryovers to wrestling. I have no idea what a BJJ teacher is truly looking for.
When I was working as a Division 1 athletic trainer (sports medicine), I saw guys get drafted over guys who I thought were better. One day there was a pro scout looking to sign one of our pitchers. We had two field players who were phenomenal and to everyone on the outside, it would seem logical that they’d get drafted first. So I asked the guy why (he was a good guy who I had a decent rapport with). He said he initially came to see those guys due to their stats. One guy who was our career homerun record holder’s swing was awful for the next level. He was too good for the current level, but at the next level he wouldn’t get a hit. Great fielder though. The other guy was quite good, but lost a step from when he had knee surgery and he thought it was obvious that he wouldn’t get it back as it had been long enough. The homerun guy got signed to a very low level minor league team. He played 20 games; zero hits. I guess the expert knew his stuffIt’s all good, as that guy went to law school and opened up his own practice about 20 minutes away.
You sent your kid there because you saw some level of expertise in their teaching (hopefully you saw them teach first). Allow them to be the experts. That doesn’t mean don’t advocate for your kid; it means they know TKD better than you. Just as coaches rightfully get funny about “why isn’t my kid playing; he’s better than that kid?” MA instructors will get funny about “why isn’t my kid getting promoted; he’s better than that kid?” It’s the same thing.
Speak to them privately and ask what your kid needs to work on to promote. Don’t compare yours to anyone else’s. He’s not competing for playing time, obviously. He’s not going to sit out if he doesn’t promote soon. Would you rather him be given something for the wrong reasons or for the right reasons? Having an almost 6 year old and an 8 year old, I know it’s impossible to have them truly understand why others are promoting and they aren’t. I’m sure he’s frustrated by it if he knows they did and he didn’t. All I can say is tell him how everyone’s different and some people get belts sooner and others get belts slower. Tell him other kids will take longer than him. Tell him he’s doing a great job and keep up the hard work. Take the emphasis off the belt and put it on the process.
If you’re competitive and so is he, keep in mind he’s not competing against anyone but himself. He should be pushing to be better than he currently is, not better than the other kids. Trust me, they’ve all got their own strengths and weaknesses they need to address too.
Kids love it when their parents join them in a martial art, and its a great way to bond. Just sayin
I was actually thinking about this. After the holidays are over and my work schedule calms down a bit I am definitely going to look into it.
Looking back on it all. This pretty much sums it all up. I’m sure it was a maturity factor at first and then became a behavior issue due to the lack of challenge for him. He has ADHD but picks things up super super quick. It’s just who he is. Then he gets bored. We are on the right track now and all is good. You all have been so helpful
dvcochran
Grandmaster
I agree that at such a young age belt promotion is chiefly for maintaining interest and some order of progress. It is tough teaching Martial Arts to any age group but the younger kids are the most challenging by far in my experience. The attention span variable can really be trying, adding to that, it can be contagious. Setting expectations and holding kids to them is probably the most difficult. It is very difficult to navigate, especially when there are different cultures, races, etc... For what it is worth, to be of the most help to your child and the instructor, ask for a curriculum. You do not have to know how to do it but helping keep up with whether your child is on track is a huge help, and lets your kid know you are involved. Greatly help with the expectation factor. Also remember while it is a group event, your child's progress is singular. Don't get too caught up in what the other kids are doing unless it is directly affecting your child. Makes it harder for everyone.
Does the class use assistant instructor? If so, you may want to consider pulling one aside and asking if they can give you kid some extra attention if he is getting a little bored. Keep in touch and let us know how it is going.
drop bear
Sr. Grandmaster
If you want to be good at martial arts you have to grind.
Headhunter
Senior Master
Don't be competing your child against others in class. What your kid does or doesn't do has no bearing on you if he's promoted or wins a competition that's a win for him not for you. I've seen plenty of parents live their competitiveness through the kids and pushed so much they end up hating martial arts. Not saying that's what your doing but just be careful
Pretty typical of most things in life unless you were born with a very special gift and it all just comes naturally without working hard for it.
I am most definitely not living through my child. Just wanted to clear that up. I think people have been really jumping so quickly to ASSUME this post is all about this crazy soccer Mom who wants a star player. NOT THE CASE AT ALL!!!! I mean that would not require me asking advice on this site. It’s pretty easy to be a crazy psycho soccer mom. You just act obnoxious and make sure your child is number one by drilling and training your kid 24-7 to be the best.
I am trying to learn about Tae Kwon Do to help my son who is very interested. My child is not your typical kid. He is extremely ADHD. A very intelligent child but has a lot of issues in school. We are working on a lot of accommodations and I need to help and work with his TKD studio to make sure he is staying interested and challenged. His self esteem could really improve. He thrives when he FEELS successful and that is all based on his own feelings.
Because so much comes easy to my child he gets bored so quick. Which is why I talked with his instructor recently about keeping him challenged but not too challenged. He also tends to give up if he has to work too hard.
Once again my original post was geared more toward wondering if I should guide my kid to be more competitive with his peers because in certain sports if you don’t do that they just push you aside.
I have now learned from everyone’s amazing advice that is not the case in TWD which makes me even more excited for my child because I have a feeling this is going to be a really great thing for him.
I am here with the intentions to get advice and help my child. Maybe I didn’t communicate that well.
Nah, you communicated it fine. But weve seen people come on here plenty of times, who start off reasonable, then it becomes apparent theyre the psycho parent, so some have become jaded here IMO. Not getting that vine from you though
jobo
Grandmaster
I think if you take a step back, you have answered your own question, you became a" pushy parent" and your kid was promoted, it seems likely that the undiserving kids had parents who were pushy sooner
the kids represent $ to the school, there's nincentiveif to promote them as long as the parent keeps paying and every incentive to do so, if they suggest they might take their $ elsewhere,
I've seen this multiple times with the kids in the " family"e in all sorts of sports and pass times, if your passive and assume th, school is acting in the best interests of the child rather than concentrating on making a good living, then your child may well be over looked, in the interest of keeping the parents of other children happy,,
go in fighting and teach your child not to accept poor / unfair treatment
i was really proud of my 8 yo when she climbed off her horse, said " don't talk to me in that tone", to the instructor and walked off
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That kind of advice.....if I had kids, that's where I'd want them to train. It's where I'd train, too.
Danny T
Senior Master
Wow...Thank you Buka.
dvcochran
Grandmaster
Don't hear this the wrong way. Your kids TKD challenges sound very similar to every other your child. Peaks and valleys, boredom, and attention span. Do not put too much of a point on these traits when you see them. If a pattern starts is when I would get concerned. I only remember a handful of kids who never had those same traits at times. Hey, they are kids. Let them be. If the instructor is worth his salt, he will know when to press your kid and work on something if it becoming a bad habit.
Well I am glad this is normal and all part of the process. Once again I am taking all this advice in and I have learned a lot. I just want to make sure to help him stay on track. Thank you!
I agree!! It is definitely what I say to my child!!!! I am always so proud of him. We all have good and bad days but we need someone to believe in us. Thank you!
Danny T is a good person to listen to. Life is tough for kids, especially these days.
We should all help them as much as we can.
