What does an online bully look like to you?
- Thread starter Steve
- Start date
I agree that they do, Blade, aye. But they are a heck of a lot easier to deal with than 'real world' ones. Well, they are on sites like MT at any rate.
Of course, I am speaking here from the perspective of a grown man on a site largely populated by mature adults with serious mind-sets (most of the time
).
I can see that on other sites, where 'mob rule' is the order of the day, that younger folks can be intimidated without the security of both a mature ego (in the nice sense) of their own and the support of a largely polite 'population' to beat the bullies back.
Of course, I am speaking here from the perspective of a grown man on a site largely populated by mature adults with serious mind-sets (most of the time
). I can see that on other sites, where 'mob rule' is the order of the day, that younger folks can be intimidated without the security of both a mature ego (in the nice sense) of their own and the support of a largely polite 'population' to beat the bullies back.
Blade96
Senior Master
I would disagree, Sukerkin, I was cyberbullied on a gaming server and site, and I tried to get the mods help to get them to stop, but thew mods were just as bad as they were. I couldn't even play the game properly because the champion players who were bullies would find out my usernames, go into my games when i didn't even know who they were, and steal my points from me. I ended up quitting a game I loved to play because I couldn't play it properly. There was no way to deal with them other than quit. And what kind of way is that.
granfire
Sr. Grandmaster
Well, true.
But you can walk away from the internet bully.
They are not likely to find you in real life.
Real Life bullies often populate areas we can't get away from, like schools or work places.
I had (until now) no problems with real life bullies. (and my bully is a special case, I think he is manuvering himself into the corner....)
But I did get into an ugly situation on a message board once. Yes, I quit going there. And at first I missed it, but I had not really participated there much anymore anyhow, quiet a while before the bullying started. (back then we called it a ***** fight, fittingly since it was about dogs!
)it resolved itself, since we dropped AOL around that time anyhow.
(Gosh, can I even say that out loud?! I had AOL and loved it!!)
Twin Fist
Grandmaster
i learned we are wussed out if words on a screen make any sort of substancial impact on anyone's life
yeah yeah i know, the girl that got myspace harrassed, she would have off'd herself anyway IMO
words on a screen cant hit you
yeah yeah i know, the girl that got myspace harrassed, she would have off'd herself anyway IMO
words on a screen cant hit you
Blade96
Senior Master
They can't hit you physically, no. But not all bullying is physical. and you don't have to be very close to someone to bully.
granfire
Sr. Grandmaster
he has never dealt with a girl bully!
Blade96
Senior Master
girl bullies are worse than evil......a guy will hit you but girls will do deeper damage. I was bullied by girls too.
Twin Fist
Grandmaster
let me say this one more time
if WORDS ON A SCREEN can hurt you, you have some underlying issues already
now this might not be true of kids, who havnt really developed a sense of self yet, but for adults? man the hell up
if they cant touch you, they cant hurt you
people's opinions cant hurt you
the words of strangers mean nothing
if WORDS ON A SCREEN can hurt you, you have some underlying issues already
now this might not be true of kids, who havnt really developed a sense of self yet, but for adults? man the hell up
if they cant touch you, they cant hurt you
people's opinions cant hurt you
the words of strangers mean nothing
Blade96
Senior Master
You're right about the kids/teens, the suicides and stuff we hear about have happened where teens/kids are concerned. You're right that adults would be better equipped. I wasn't though, when it happened to me on the gaming site. Maybe ok if it was just words, like you said, but it wasn't. I felt violated. because i had innocently posted some pics of myself and they used those pics to photoshop and display hateful things on them. Even going so far to make a 'video' using my pics about a retarded girl with autism who needed the public to donate because the retard (thats what they called me) needed help. That's what they did to me. Wasn't just words.
Monroe
Purple Belt
I saw young women go after a guy who spread the wrong rumour about the wrong girl. It went on for months. By the time they were done with him, he was hospitalized for a suicide attempt.
Words can be vicious. Emotional bullies find your weakness and play it for all it's worth.
Twin Fist
Grandmaster
did you know any of them in real life?
no?
then what did it matter? what do the words of strangers you will never meet, who dont know you, dont know your friends or family matter?
no?
then what did it matter? what do the words of strangers you will never meet, who dont know you, dont know your friends or family matter?
I might think that TF is being somewhat too dismissive of the emotional torment that can be inflicted on those who do not possess the ability to view the on-line population as 'not real' ... but that last comment is a fair point indeed.
Twin Fist, can I ask please what would be your advice to any of your younger female family members who were being hassled, harrassed, stalked and having rumours about them spread online? Would you understand why this kind of thing which is only words sent through Facebook or across cellphones might upset them? If it were your younger sister or cousin maybe what would your advice to them be knowing how difficult it can be to ignore and knowing how cruel especially young people and teenagers can be sometimes? Is it not different for you because you are naturally of a tougher disposition? Maybe not everyone can be this way?? I do not know.
Monroe
Purple Belt
TF, if it was only online, it would have been different. This was a 19yo being tormented via phone (multiple girls from cells (texts), home phones, work lines), at school, at home, on the street, anywhere he was seen. Webpage set up to humiliate him. He was living with an aunt and uncle because his adopted parents had passed away. You wouldn't believe what they said about his Aunt and Uncle or his deceased parents etc... Round the clock harrassment. He should have gone to the police before the suicide attempt.
granfire
Sr. Grandmaster
but again, the line id blurred here.
Pure online bullying, you can walk away (you should be able to, after all, a complete stranger on the net, what do you care!)
But those real life/online cases, shucks, you can't get away from them.
And it reaches far more people than the usual face to face aggression.
And then it is amazing how many people willingly participate, too.
OP
OP
Steve
Mostly Harmless
Careful, Twin Fist. You're beginning to sound like Obama. We're a little soft and we've lost our competitive edge.
While I think that's true, I want to make sure that we don't go too far down this hyperbolic trail. Few people are bullied "to death," even in face to face situations. Online or in real life, bullying seldom results in suicide or death. Most people survive now, just as I'm sure they have throughout the ages. This doesn't, however, mean they don't exist. Death isn't the only measure we have of the existence of bullies. Twin Fist, you survived.
I don't know whether Twin Fist has any kids, but I'm guessing not.
