Hanzou
Grandmaster
Sure a body kick that lands to the liver could be really effective in a real fight, but in a real fight I would also strike the face and I would strike below the belt (the "everything" I was talking about in my original post). Those two things I don't do in my particular brand of sparring. Therefore sparring (for my classes) is just the sport aspect of martial arts and not reflective of a real fight. Which is both what I meant and my instructor meant when he made the statement to class. To be honest I think you took what I said word for word too literally. I'm not sure if it's an honest misunderstanding or you're were being purposely obtuse. I can't imagine why you would think that I believe no legal move is ever effective. But all sparring has rules, so I would say that no sparring is fully representative of a real fight (some styles are closer than others to a real fight) and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that, but that is the truth.
Didn't you say that you guys do light sparring in class where you don't hit the face or do any kind of serious striking? If that's the case, how do you know you can take or give a punch? Have you actually ever fought someone larger than you in class where they were really trying to hurt you or beat you into submission? If not, I'd be very careful believing your personal prowess in a confrontation. My main concern with your post was your notion that sparring only represents the sport aspect of martial arts and not reflective or a real fight. The thing is, sparring is supposed to be reflective of a real fight.
As for sparring having rules, it certainly does. Those rules keep you safe from doing permanent damage when you're training. However, it is a failure in instruction to believe that because it has rules it is not beneficial in preparing you for a real-life conflict where your life may be on the line. Take my style Bjj for example. Our sparring certainly has rules, but those rules allow us to go full power and full speed. Since we go full speed and full power, a person experiences what its like for someone larger and more powerful imposing their will upon them. The smaller/weaker person must then use their skills to truly escape and overcome their handicap. In the end, the benefits of that hard sparring overrides the limitation of the rules. Further, once you get to a certain point, you can start peeling back the rules and increase your effectiveness.
You're question was what's a better test for martial arts than MMA and my answer is why do I have to test my style by your rules when it's not what I want to do? As I said I'm never going to be able to go toe to toe with someone who is just as trained and usually (because I'm a woman) bigger than me, so why would I want to test whether I can? Especially in an enclosed environment where I couldn't escape? I don't claim to know any super secrete death blows, nor does my instructor claim to be able to teach them. He does teach joint locks and Judo throws, both of which I think would work in a practical self defense situation. But as I said in my earlier post, I really mostly practice martial arts for fun and exercise with self defense as a bonus.
You don't have to do anything. I'm merely pointing out that a woman is perfectly capable of taking someone down larger than themselves, or capable of going toe-to-toe with someone equally trained if they have the right training. When I first started Bjj, a female purple belt choked me out in a matter of seconds despite me being literally twice her size. Meanwhile I easily took down a female black belt when I first started karate many years ago.
It all comes down to training.
While you may view self defense as a secondary issue, I'm sure there are people in your class who view it as a primary concern, and "light contact sparring", kata, etc. simply isn't going to get it done.