Bullies in School
- Thread starter Hajime
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diamondbar1971
Green Belt
my kids are all girls and all are black belts. as parents we informed our school district as such and that we would not tolerate our kids being harrassed in in manner whatsoever, and further, that our kids could and would defend themselves to the BEST of their abilities if the need should ever arise, and mentioned the laws of our state and the federal laws that are set up to protect kids in school, and that we would back our kids up to the hilt if necessary and then would proceed to sue the school district and all
teachers, principles and superintents as needed, we did not hear a peep in all the time our kids were in school.
teachers, principles and superintents as needed, we did not hear a peep in all the time our kids were in school.
ridler2012
White Belt
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When I was in HS there are lot who bullied me. I just show them who's they're dealing with... Shock them first and they will stop... They're just ego tripping but in reality they're really a chicken... Bully the one who's bullying you! :shock:
Bullying... a health issue? Aside from it being unhealthy to be punched and/or kicked, I'd have to disagree; bullying is a social issue. It seems odd that a parent who's child is obese would consider bullying the top health issue, when obesity is a much greater risk to overall health of a child.
Daniel
Yeah, a mental health issue...
Often parents of obese children are in denial about the real issue. (As I'm sure you know). It's often a systemic family issue. How many of those parents were obese children who were also bullied? Voicing this issue for their kids gives them power they didn't have to stop bullies as kids. Celtic Tiger, I think you're absolutely correct as to the greater risk. My answer is merely an attempt to explain why bullying might be seen as a greater issue by parents.
Which is generally the result of social issues. Teasing and such, which is generally not considered bullying, is also damaging to another's mental health, but is not considered a health issue by most.
Parents of obese kids would do better to address their child's bodily health, which will in turn, have a positive effect on their mental health. Nearly all childhood obesity is the result of what mom and dad are feeding their kids, coupled with a general lack of exercise. A martial arts class is a good way to address the exercise issue.
Please note, when I say obese, I don't mean kids who are a tad plump or naturally a bit thick.
Daniel
Totally agree. Unfortunately, diabetes is a much more life threatening issue than poor self image.
Daniel
I agree with your first sentence in that making healthy changes are important, but at the same time parents must send the message that their kids are valued and deserve respect regardless of their weight. As to the second sentence, current findings show it's rather more complicated than that.
That isn't perfectly clear when you take into account suicide.
I don't disagree with you, but I still find it odd that a parent would rank bullying as the top health issue of their obese child.
Not sure what other factors you refer to with the cause of childhood obesity.
Daniel
Not sure what other factors you refer to with the cause of childhood obesity.
Daniel
phatbway
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I have to agree with you on this point. Both my 13 yr old girl and 10 yr old son are Blue belts in TKD and I tell them the same thing Drac is saying here............take the suspension instead! The school board will call me, then they have to explain to Dad why this a$$ hole(s) tried taking my kids down.
punisher73
Senior Master
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There should be a zero tolerance on FIGHTING in schools. Many of the responders to this thread are confusing issues. I am a school liaison officer and see why most schools adopt this. I have also talked at length with how our prosecutor views these issues (obviously this may vary, but it is a law perspective).
1) Bullying: most schools have an anti-bullying policy in place. Get it and know it. It is the schools job to protect your child, failure to do so is on them, NOT your child. That being said, if it isn't documented, it didn't happen. It is not enough for your child to tell you he or she is being bullied, YOU have to take the initiative and notify the school and set down with specific documented instances of what happened and demand a meeting. Most parents are quick to claim their child was being bullied, but the school has never been notified or put on notice. Here is a website with ALOT of good information on it concerning your legal rights and bullying, I recommend it to all parents with kids in school.
http://www.bullypolice.org/grade.html
2) Fighting is what occurs between two CONSENTING individuals. If they are being verbally taunted they need to leave the area and notify the proper staff (see #1), that is the same whether you are an adult or a student. To claim self-defense, there must be some action that fulfills the "duty to retreat" aspect. I don't know how many times there has been a fight and one kid claims self-defense because "he pushed me first". The way our prosecutor looks at it is the assault (threat) starts when words are first exchanged, if you stand there verbally exchanging with them you can not claim self-defense. IF on the other hand, you are attempting to leave and have said you don't want to fight (witnesses obviously help, or school cameras to back your story) and then are physically battered (pushed or hit) you can do EQUAL force to get away and notify someone. If you can show that your child was ASSAULTED (not fighting) and wish to press charges it is going to be very hard for the school board to suspend your child when even the police are making the report as an assault.
I agree that there are some schools use the "zero tolerance" so they don't have to look deeper. But, most of the ones I have come in contact with use it to discourage fighting and let it be known that it won't be tolerated. To be honest, an actual "assault" doesn't occur that often. It is usually precipitated with other circumstances. Even in a bullying situation, there is usually alot of other build up befor it becomes physical. It is up to you and your child to be proactive in handling bullies and not reactive and letting it get to the point where it becomes physical and nothing to show it's progression.
Punisher,
What you say is correct, but in my experience, being proactive before the fact generally annoys the teachers and exaspirates the problem, particularly in grade school and middle school. Most often, the teachers and school faculty take no real action until the victim is finally forced to react, and then is accused of fighting. Bully wins either way. My younger son was bullied and the only thing that finally stopped it was him delivering a backfist to the bully's mouth. That was after months of being proactive and me finally telling him that he had my full support in hitting back. The teachers didn't like it, but it solved the problem.
Daniel
What you say is correct, but in my experience, being proactive before the fact generally annoys the teachers and exaspirates the problem, particularly in grade school and middle school. Most often, the teachers and school faculty take no real action until the victim is finally forced to react, and then is accused of fighting. Bully wins either way. My younger son was bullied and the only thing that finally stopped it was him delivering a backfist to the bully's mouth. That was after months of being proactive and me finally telling him that he had my full support in hitting back. The teachers didn't like it, but it solved the problem.
Daniel
I have to agree. Trying to use systems like this, that the teachers know just creates paperwork for them without solving problems, just gets the teachers and administration looking at the victim as another thing to deal with that day. Perhaps at punisher73's school it works better! Leadership and successes can change those attidtudes. But usually the bully must come back to school at some point, it starts over again, and even if a given child is no longer bullied the teachers often see it as same stuff, different day (and they aren't entirely wrong).
Brad Dunne
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http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=63004
This thread from a few months ago is on the same subject. There's some interesting reads and should offer additional views, than those already given.
This thread from a few months ago is on the same subject. There's some interesting reads and should offer additional views, than those already given.
celtic_crippler
Senior Master
Follow the rules when possible and when it does not compromise your well being. If a bully is threatening you, then take it to the principle or a teacher at the very least.
I had a "bully" messing with me way back in the day. I let the proper folks know what was happening.
Even though we sat down with the principle and tried to work it out, several weeks later the "bully" swung on me and I did what I had to do.
In the end, I recieved no punishment because the staff were aware of the problem and that reinforced the fact that I was merely defending myself.
I'm not saying that there would be no "punishment" involved in different areas of the country, but by making the teachers and principle aware of a situation where you feel bullied is not "wussing out". It's doing the responsible thing and will go a long way to justifying your response to an actual attack on school grounds.
I understand that the school should be the one preventing the bullying from happening, but the school staff is usually not around when these things happen. It then becomes a "he said, she said" kind of thing. There is also a HUGE amount of peer pressure put on the children not to be wimp and tattle tail by going to the teachers, etc. Bullies are usually bullies because they can and do get away with that behavior.
