Agreed, on all points. When I teach techniques, I always teach that the entry and control are more important than the finish. At each of those points (really, arbitrarily divided into 3 segments - it's many points along the way), you can choose one of several options. So, when practicing wrist locks, for instance, the focus is on the control that improves the situation. If the wrist lock fails (isn't available), you can just go to another option. If the control fails, you're not in good shape.The thing is you do kind of have to have a backup if your slick move fails anyway. So it is not the end of the world if your slower than 100% wrist lock doesn't take.
And if you have everything else on point. E.g. the Russian wrist snap. You don't need the lock.
And you do kind of need these elements to be on point because if you don't they will just clench their fist and you won't get that wristlock.
Which is what OP was basically describing.