I should have mentioned the book The War Against Boys, by the feminist scholar, Christina Hoff Sommers. She has documented her work impeccably. If youÂ’re interested in learning more, get her book.
I should also mention how gratifying it is to see that so many of you appreciate my posts, but I also hear from people who try to silence me through calling me a racist (of all things!) or sexist, or the vilest accusation they can think of, “You’re just a man”. Their standard operating procedure is character assassination. By the time you read this, tI’ll have gotten a dozen e-mails and pm’s from shrill harridans protesting my use of the term “shrill harridan”. So be it. I’m not afraid of them, for they simply spit and sputter the same tired, predictable old rhetoric. Ironically, the week I posted this thread, a local (Santa Fe, NM.)domestic abuse prevention advocate was arrested for punching her husband in the face. When do you think they’ll start a “Stop Violence Against Men” campaign? I rest my case.
One email mentioned that IÂ’ve got a way with writing about some of these controversial topics. I just like to say that IÂ’ve gotten away with it, which in itself, is truly a miracle.
As the father of two children, a boy and a girl, and having raised them alone since 1993, it has been one of my my greatest joys raising them to become adults: a good man and a good woman…I consider it an honor to see my children to grow up to be strong and confident people who understand the role they play in a society that degrades people in general...they are respectful of elders, display gracious manners, and my son actually knows how to shake hands like a man should—strong and firm…I advise my son that a man sometimes bears more injustice and responsibility for other’s actions than what is truly fair…but, as most real men realize, it’s not how you are treated in life that makes you what you are—it’s how you choose to live your life that determines who you are… My parents were especially warm and wise people, and they taught me how to be a man, and how to conduct myself as a gentleman. I thank them for that gift. They also taught me how to sit at a table and eat like a civilized person. I was taught the proper use of a knife and fork. We didn’t live a pretentious lifestyle, but we lived a gracious life .At the time, I probably didn’t appreciate it. Today, I do more and more. When I see people bent over the table, using forks like shovels, eating like hogs at the feed trough, I’m grateful that I was taught a different way, just as I am grateful for having been raised to not let what a society decline expects from me limit me, and for thus ensuring that I’d raise my own children that way as well.
People have various ideas of what peace is and what peace looks like. These ideas are usually thought forms which may, or may not bear any resemblance to actual peace. One of the most important knowings to come to me is that in order to be centered and at peace, I must embrace my humanity. In order to project peace outwardly, I must have inner peace. Peace doesnÂ’t imply passivity. Through embracing my humanity, IÂ’ve come to see that feeling anger can be a constructive, as well as instructive part of being human. There are certain issues about which it is appropriate for us to feel anger. The various actions of our administration in the U.S. are some of those things. Sending young men to their deaths, or poisoning the planet with depleted uranium in invasions of foreign countries, causing the deaths of innocent foreigners, easing environmental restirctionsÂ…these are things about which it is appropriate to feel anger. The degradation of our society is another. I have embraced my anger, and IÂ’ve made it my friend. IÂ’m at peace with my anger, for it is part of my humanness. We cannot embrace our divinity until weÂ’ve embraced our humanity. DonÂ’t be afraid of anger. Learn to wield your anger with vision, and you enter more profoundly into your humanity. It need not shake you from your spiritual center. The challenge is to express our anger as beings of power, in ways which are open ended, allowing for spiritual growth and change. We then move through the experience.