Got a date tomorrow - any advice?

[Bill Mattocks]

Clean your bathroom. No, really.

 

[drop bear]

Clean your bathroom. No, really.

Buy a spare toothbrush.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

First time I read this as "stiffy" instead of stirfry...

Unless she's a serial killer...

Hilarious!

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

Buy a spare toothbrush.

This is really good advice!

Buy a spare toothbrush.

this is really good advice!

 

[Oily Dragon]

It's been a while. I'm starting to worry little Ivan might have been abducted, or worse, the stir fry was soggy.

 

[O'Malley]

This is really good advice!
this is really good advice!

I imagined the girl walking into the bathroom just to find two toothbrushes below the mirror.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Clean your bathroom. No, really.

Buy a spare toothbrush.

Both of these are just general good advice for a single guy in his 20s, you never know what's going to happen. I'd even say they're good advice for adults in general, but especially for single guys in their 20s.

 

[Dirty Dog]

It's been a while. I'm starting to worry little Ivan might have been abducted, or worse, the stir fry was soggy.

I was only joking about her being a serial killer!

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

I imagined the girl walking into the bathroom just to find two toothbrushes below the mirror.

No no no, you keep the extra one in a new box so it looks like you already had an extra just laying around. Having two looks like you have a roommate.

 

[Gyakuto]

It's been a while. I'm starting to worry little Ivan might have been abducted, or worse, the stir fry was soggy.

He’s been turned into ‘the gimp’ and is being kept in a box, occasionally let out (in his gimp suit) on a leash!

 

[Oily Dragon]

I was only joking about her being a serial killer!

I wasn't kidding about the stir fry. Hopefully he didn't break any of the cardinal rules, like not asking about allergies up front.

You can kill people with sesame, peanut oil, certain peppers, etc..

 

[Dirty Dog]

He seemed a bit nervous about that part. Everyone wants to be a chef these days, but it takes practice.

Not everybody. I truly believe that if I take something out of the package before I microwave it, that counts as cooking from scratch.

 

[Oily Dragon]

Not everybody. I truly believe that if I take something out of the package before I microwave it, that counts as cooking from scratch.

Lol, sorry I edited that part out after thinking about it.

It's completely possible to pull together a decent meal without cooking in the modern world. You can get an entire FRESH turkey dinner and everything with it for Thanksgiving without even firing up the oven. You can Doordash fine steaks.

I was just being a snob.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

Poor Ivan just wanted advice, when he reads this thread he will know better than to ask here again. By the way, does anyone know a good way to tell my wife she has to give part of her closet up to my new fishing gear rack?

 

[Gyakuto]

By the way, does anyone know a good way to tell my wife she has to give part of her closet up to my new fishing gear rack?

I’m probably sounding like a broken record here but again, monkey screams while manically flicking your gaze from your new fishing tackle to her full wardrobe. Monkeys are know for flinging their faeces in emotionally fraught situations, but I’d save this strategy for when your wife threatens to call the ‘nice men in white coats’. If those men do arrive, be ready with your ‘extremely high testosterone’ narrative, cups of steaming tea and Scottish shortbread. They are unlikely to take those refreshments after seeing your earlier ‘dirty protest’ but do not be tempted to throw more faeces in reaction to this social snub.

I guarantee this will liberate space in your wife’s wardrobe….remember my penis has one star on trip advisor.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

I’m probably sounding like a broken record here but again, monkey screams while manically flicking your gaze from your new fishing tackle to her full wardrobe. Monkeys are know for flinging their faeces in emotionally fraught situations, but I’d save this strategy for when your wife threatens to call the ‘nice men in white coats’. If those men do arrive, be ready with your ‘extremely high testosterone’ narrative, cups of steaming tea and Scottish shortbread. They are unlikely to take those refreshments after seeing your earlier ‘dirty protest’ but do not be tempted to throw more faeces in reaction to this social snub.

I guarantee this will liberate space in your wife’s wardrobe….remember my penis has one star on trip advisor.

I want this Scottish shortbread you speak of.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

I do a great chimp impression, it almost comes naturally to me.

 

[Gyakuto]

I want this Scottish shortbread you speak of.

 

[Gyakuto]

I do a great chimp impression, it almost comes naturally to me.

But can you monkey scream?

 

[Dirty Dog]

But can you monkey scream?

Anyone can monkey scream. You just have to tighten the clamps enough...