Relationship / Dating advice

[Chrisinmd]

its also a little test for the future , if they cant shut the flip up and prtend to look happy for a coupke of hours whilst you watch a game, there is absolutly no future in the relationship

i finished with the most attractive girl ive ever been out with over the same issue.

i put the match on, ( at her house) and she turned it off, said we are not watchibg that, it was a europeanian cup semi final, so not even an ordinary match, so i packed and went home to watch it.

she tried apologising, but it was to no avail, i wasnt having somepne that selfish and inconsiderate in my life, , it wasnt going to improve any if i settled down with her, a life of not watching sport lay ahead of me

Ive been in relationships with women in the past who didnt like sports. Its not a problem as long as she leaves you the hell alone so you can enjoy it. I'll be watching the game in one room and she would be off in the other room sewing a quilt or talking on the phone or whatever. Works for me.

I would agree with you her turning off the game on tv on you is not cool and not a good sign! Good think you left!

 

[Steve]

Huh. I never dated a stereotype before. How exciting for you.

Ive been in relationships with women in the past who didnt like sports. Its not a problem as long as she leaves you the hell alone so you can enjoy it. I'll be watching the game in one room and she would be off in the other room sewing a quilt or talking on the phone or whatever. Works for me.

I would agree with you her turning off the game on tv on you is not cool and not a good sign! Good think you left!

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Good thoughts Jobo. Yes I realize she is lying to me with the it's not you it's me crap. She is just being polite.

I do like your idea about doing things with distractions where you dont have to try so hard to maintain conversation. Makes sense things like museums or a ball game where there is always something to comment on. Good advice for the future

"It's not you, it's me" can mean exactly that. I once broke up with someone I'd been with for 8 years, and it was entirely because I was having a personal crisis (linked to my career) at the time, and didn't know how to process it. It was literally in no way about her, but I didn't understand at the time what it was about.

Sometimes people mean what they say, even if what they say doesn't tell the whole story.

BTW, my best guess is that there's something she needs in a partner that just isn't you. Something about her template you just don't happen to fit. In which case, it's about her need, not anything wrong with you.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Yes people are very complex. She had just gotten through a divorce not to long ago and I suspect I was the first guy she had dated /slept with since her marriage ended. So I think she wanted some fun not anything serious. Which would have been fine with me I just wanted the "fun" to continue longer.

In a situation like that, she's almost certainly processing what she wants next. And she'll have a lot of conflicting emotions. Out of a major breakup, most folks have a craving for intimacy (to fill the void they feel), and often accept intimacy they might not at another time, so they go farther in relationships (and seem more "into" the relationship) than really fits their long-term needs. It's part of the process of finding their path again.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

its also a little test for the future , if they cant shut the flip up and prtend to look happy for a coupke of hours whilst you watch a game, there is absolutly no future in the relationship

Only true if that's what you're looking for in a relationship.

 

[jobo]

Only true if that's what you're looking for in a relationship.

well watching a,socxer game may be optional, but everybody has or should have some red lines, where the partner is if not an eager participent at least l
has the ability to tolerate it with a cheerful demeanor

at the very very least, allows you to go and do it on your own, with friends and not insist on rival attractions that co incided with your me time

ive seen many many relationship that are very one sided , in this regard. " i dont want to do that? and your stoppibg home to keep me company or visit my mother or anything really. in ny last mmarrage, she spent her evening watch complete crap on the telly, i spent mine in a cold garage messing with one of my aurmtonove devices, follow by a game of snooker, this aparentlyvwas me being neglectful and inconsiderate, and shpuld have turned my brain to jelly and joined her, i wasnt insisting she sat in a cold garage, to keep me company, but it was me that was beibg unrrasonable , so the divorce papers said

if you pretend to be agreeable tp being controled early in the relationship, your only storing up trouble and resentment for later

 

[granfire]

Good thoughts Jobo. Yes I realize she is lying to me with the it's not you it's me crap. She is just being polite.

I do like your idea about doing things with distractions where you dont have to try so hard to maintain conversation. Makes sense things like museums or a ball game where there is always something to comment on. Good advice for the future

well, it doesn't matter why. The point is she doesn't want it.
And there is really nothing you can do besides wishing her good luck.

Otherwise, you might as well send her that mix tape.

Sorry, it sucks.
But there are plenty of gals out there.