Right.
Okay, this came up while I was replying...
[originally posted by rdonovan1 - blue is my responce]
NLP is not about who is superior to one another. It is about creating rapport and asking the right questions.
NLP is about understanding the construct of the mind, and how to use that to the greatest benefit of yourself and those around you. Rapport building is one small part of it. And I never said that NLP was about superiority, I said that you were coming off as believing yourself to be morally superior. And I stand by that, as you are continuing to do that right now.
By my own admission I am not really all that great at asking the right questions and I think that tends to have a lot to do with why I was not hired by Victoria's Secrect Direct.
Don't look to blame your not getting one job on something like that. It was a combination of things, including the other applicants being better.
If I had been better at it all then I would have been able to capture and lead the imagination of the female interviewer when she asked me to sell her a hypothetical car.
Really? I would say that if your interview went better, if you were the best suited person for the job, then you would have gotten it. Stop looking to NLP to solve your problems, that's not what it's for.
It's difficult for me to focus on stuff like that when people in my neighborhood continually attempt to attack either me or my car and the same goes for one of the Pastor's at the church that I have tried to attend.
So everyone's attacking you? As has been stated by others, there is one common factor here.
If he had been smart and if he had understood any of this stuff then he would have asked me questions about what lead me to believe what I was believing about the church, what the Senior Pastor had been talking about and other related topics and he would have had an open mind about it all as well. Unfortunately he did not do any of that at all and instead he attacked me and that is something that really bothers me as you would think that a person like him would be able to understand things that the Senior Pastor had been talking about in his sermons.
Hmm, I would want to hear his side of things, I am not placing a lot of faith in your interpretation of facts here. And that is based again on your actions and communications here, not anything about your personality, so not an attack.
Had I fully understood everything that Ross had been talking about as well as things that Bandler and Erickson were talking about and had been able to combine them with things like psychology and sales and marketing then it is also possible that I might have been able to get a girl that I knew in 2008 that was a next door neighbor and had I fully understood everything like I should then in theory I would have also been able to deflect a lot of the stuff that one girl that I met on MySpace was doing to me and if my finances were not such a concern of mine, then I probably would also have had more time to really get to the meaning of what at least one of the online scammers was doing.
None of this is relevant to anything here. If you understood things fully? If you could combine them? You might have gotten a girl a year ago? What on earth is this in aid of?
I would say if you understood the first thing about what most of these guys are saying then you wouldn't be here in this conversation, and I wouldn't be needing to say this to you now.
That however is no guarantee that I would have been successful in detering and stopping the scams from happening at all because whether we like it or not people can and often do lie about a great number of things and being able to accurately predict as to whether a person is telling you the truth or a lie can and often is a hit or miss situation.
Yes, the world is out to get you, people lie, and you are the one true bastion in the world. Or you have no way to deal with the world, and are constantly looking for others to blame... I think we've covered this before.
I have learned that not only from studying psychology, but also from asking a police officer about it as well. His response to me when I asked him as to what tactics and techniques they used to get to the truth was that no matter what you do or say all you can do is to just take your best guess and to hope that you are right.
Yeah, but remember that the police officer is trained, and is in a situation where they have a very good reason to believe the person (suspect) may be lying to them. This is very different to the types of people you may encounter in your everyday life. The lies and deceptions you may encounter are also going to be quite different as well, with different intentions, methods, and causes. So while I agree with the advice, I feel that you are taking it out of context, and are approaching everyone with the mindset that they are going to screw you over (phrasing just for you, Tez), and that just ain't going to happen. Not every day.
I don't know about you, but I for one am not going to doubt the word of a police officer as they are out there every day doing it and more often than not they are very, very experienced at it because in their line of work people can and often do deny things that they have either done or said.
Really? Depends on the police officer... But again, you are taking things out of context. If you are not a police officer, then their approach to a criminal is going to be different to your approach to someone you meet in the street, or at work.
I don't have a superiority complex at all. All that I am doing is talking out of experience. Talking to people like Ross, David D, Mystery or any of the others cannot and will not do you a bit of good unless you are actually out in the world applying the concepts with real women.
Whether people like it or not what they say and what really works with real women out in the real world are two different things and I unlike a lot of people have been attempting to put what I have learned to work out in the real world where anything can happen.
You need to realize and remember that these guys are just out to make a buck off of you and that the only way you are really going to learn is by applying it out in the real world on real women. Sitting at home trying to practice what you have learned on something like your computer makes you what Mystery calls a keyboard jockey.
I'm not saying that I understand everything at all because out in the real world people can and do react to things differently than they might react on the internet. Anyone that knows anything about the internet knows that anyone can be anything that they want to be on the internet. I know that because I have not only experienced it first hand, but also because I once knew a truck driver and his wife that just loved to go online and pretend that he was a girl and more often than not his wife would help him out. He personally thougt that it was funny as he knew that women tend to get more responses than men on dating websites and that many of these women tend to like to play games with these men because they know that they can.
The stuff that David D teaches is ok, but as Ross once pointed out you have to be careful that you don't become a joke machine. Ross is also right about women compartmentalizing things in their minds as that is stuff that Bandler and Erickson touched upon as well.
Bandler also went on to state that people tend to think negatively and that is why people like him and Ross tend to use negation as they know that the mind cannot process a negative. It's also why children often don't do what they are told to do.
David D's Cocky Funny stuff is fine, but that will only get you so far. I know that because I and a friend of mine know that and so does my ex-wife. When I was married I used to used the cocky funny stuff on my ex-wife and while it usually got a laugh it never did anything to deepen the relationship at all and that is why Ross said that you need to be careful about that. He also stated that you need to use what people give you and that it is a lot like the martial arts.
Dr. Paul said the same thing as well and I understand that because in many ways it is a lot like aikido as you are basically taking their energy and using it against them. Erickson and Bandler knew that as well.
Bandler and Grinder knew that so well that they used it on Erickson to get Erickson to meet with them and to let them observe him in action and Erickson himself said that what he and Bandler did was nothing more than sales and marketing. My mother brought that up to me a long time ago when I tried showing her what Ross was teaching.
Because of that and because of a few books that I have read relating to rapport I have been learning or at least trying to learn how to apply the concepts to the business world and that is why I would ideally like to be able to get into things like sales and marketing as I know that it is all nothing more than sales, marketing, influence and persuasion.
I was working on that before all this scam stuff started and I still am as I know that NLP can and will help me in my attempts to find work and to come up with enough money to take care of things like fixing my car and getting out of the apartment complex that I currently live in.
While I haven't had a chance to read all of the books that David D suggested I do understand what he is talking about when it comes to things like jealously as I have personally experienced it in person with one of the people that I knew when I first moved to Albuquerque.
For some reason he thought that I wanted his wife and as a result he tried to fight me one day when I came back from my run. He is and was completely way off base because I really was not interested in his wife at all. Only in making some new friends.
I did however think about and wonder about some of what Ross and Mystery were talking about relating to the girl that I knew a long time ago. Because of what they were teaching and because of things that I have noticed with that relationship I have learned to pay attention to patterns just like a police officer would and during the course of my studies I discovered some patterns that tended to make me wonder as to what really happened with that relationship. That in turn has had me looking at not only myself, but the relationship as well as I have been trying to figure out what I did right and wrong with that relationship.
I would explain it to you if I thought that you were actually willing to listen, but since you are not willing to listen there really is no point in me trying to explain anything at all and since that is the case then it is probably best for me to just do the same thing as everyone else and that is to assume and to blame as that seems to be what everyone else seems to understand and accept. I personally don't like it at all as I tend to believe that if one is going to really be honest then they need to learn how to be honest both with themselves and with others, but that is something that most people don't seem very willing to do.
I'm not interested in being like Ross or Mystery at all. My interest is in just simply creating better relationships with women and in being the best that I can possibly be in life.
