Chris Parker
Grandmaster
You know, I've stared at this post for about 15 minutes, wondering if I should answer it. I'll throw caution to the wind, and take it point by point, and see if we can get something out of that. But before I do, I will just reiterate that you have bee given these answers time and time again, and still haven't taken a single point on board from myself or any other member here. I suggest you start or we may stop answering you. There is a limit to the amount of energy I expend, at least, and it is relative to the amount of influence it has. Here, it doesn't appear to have had much. But here goes:
Okay, that was rather involved. But it seems that this thread has been completely hijacked, and hopefully we can put an end to it now. rdonovan1, this is enough, really. I ask that you stick to the thread topics in future, as you have a way to go in your forum etiquette. So I actually recommend you don't answer this post, although I will welcome anything you wish to say via PM, as this thread has been off it's rails for too long now, and this is not the first time it has happened with you.
Hopefully we can get better from here. Remember, everything I have said, as well as others, has been to help you. But you need to start to take it on board, or else I don't see much that you are really getting out of this.
I am not approaching things on this forum from a seduction, attraction, or dating point of view.
Yet you constantly refer to the game, the teachers in that field, make constant references to "the dating, mating and seduction..." community/game etc, and give us stories to demonstrate this aspect. Wrong place. See two paragraphs down.
I am approaching things from a security and business point of view because right now that is where I am weak in.
Not really sure what you're getting at here. You have rarely mentioned security other than a job you recently got, but questions about the security industry have their place here. I have yet to see any realistic questions from you, though. As for business, how is that relevant to this forum or thread? And how are you focusing on that, all you have said is that you would like to eventually get into the import/export business, with no real direction or plan, and no real reason to choose that industry other than you seem to think that it'll give you connections to assist in you travelling to Japan and training under someone like Hatsumi... if you want to do that, get a teacher near you! That is the best "connection" you can make in that regard!
But frankly, this is all very pie-in-the-sky, and I doubt that you have much chance as you seem unable or unwilling to make any changes at all, as you have been given plenty of advise and guidance here with no effect.
I am only stating what my experiences are and as to some of what I have studied. Everything that I started studying relating to seduction, attraction, and dating has lead me into studying business and things like sales and marketing.
Realise that not all of what you have studied is appropriate for here, nor even relevant. I have studied many other areas, had many other experiences, and there are many other aspects to who I am, but here the focus is on the martial art side of things. Your experiences as you have related them, and the various areas you have read about (I 'm not saying studied here for a reason) are simply not relevant, and have come across as such.
Because of some of the stuff that David D. talked about and because of the fact that I was an over the road truck driver for a long time I started studying ways in which to take some of the concepts that I had been learning from the seduction community and applying them to things like business, sales and marketing and that is what I am focusing on the most right now.
No relevance. Leave David out of the conversations here, as well as Ross, Mystery, Style, Hypnotica, Zan, Carlos, In10se, David M, David Shade, Dr Paul, Vin DiCarlo, Mehow, Juggler, Kezia, Gambler, Grinder, Erikson, Bandler, and everyone else. Martial arts forum, dude. Martial arts. The rest have no relevance.
All of the online romance scams that I became a part of started because I wanted to practice what I had been learning from the seduction community, but in the process instead of meeting real and decent women online I have run into a lot of people that were either crazy or scammers.
Then you didn't learn anything, missed the point, and shouldn't have been on there.
My approach to things right now is on setting up basic security and in doing that will enhance things like how I feel about myself both in business context and in a personal sense.
Won't work. You are coming from a place of deep insecurity and fear, along with a very deep lack of confidence. The "security" you would set up for yourself would be based on trying to keep yourself safe against imagined fears that will always be there, and therefore simply feed into that lack of confidence and fear, reinforcing it. Wrong approach.
This, by the way, is the fear you have been reading in other people's posts, as it has simply not been in their words. It has always been coming from you.
Part of the personal issue is in my ability to defend and protect myself not only in business situations, but also in personal situations as well and not just from a physical standpoint, but also from a mental standpoint and it is not related to just women, but to men also as I have not only been accused by people for things that I haven't done at all, but I have also have had things stolen from me, my car vandalized, and I have even had one girl in my neighborhood steal my necklace from my neck because I would not take her somewhere in my car.
This all comes down to confidence again. And the best way to get that is to allow yourself to go out and experience life, not by hiding behind these fantasies of protection (a black belt will not protect you, it is just a piece of cloth, a gun will not defend you, it will most likely get you in trouble, and for the love of all that is good and well in the world, a cobra in your car? You have to be kidding, right? But we'll visit that in a bit). You will have success and problems, but the point is that you will have experience to learn from. But you have to learn, and you can do that from experiences.
As far as I am concerned I am not the grocery store, the phone company, a taxi service, or even a cigarette shop.
Change the attitude. A generous spirit is a good thing, a scrooge will be looked upon as weak, and be an even greater potential target. It shows a huge lack of control over yourself, as well as a deep fear of being taken advantage of. The irony is that it is just that projection that will attract more people to you to scam and con you.
Just recently I ran into a situation in my neighborhood that kind of concerned me in which some guys from across the courtyard had asked me for a cigarette. I told them that I did not have any because I don't like giving out things to people and not getting anything in return.
Someone asked you for cigarettes, and that is worthy of concern? That is the fear I am talking about. And again, the attitude is off. I don't want to bring the PUA stuff in here, but the idea of not jumping through hoops is a way of demonstrating confidence, to not do it because of fear or being a scrooge is the complete opposite of what is meant.
One of the guys came up so close to me that I felt that my personal space was being invaded and as a result I really started to think that I was going to have to deliver a back kick to the guy.
Okay, you really need to relax here. He got so close that you felt he was invading your personal space, and you thought you may have to "deliver a back kick to the guy"? If you had the room for a back kick he ain't that close. If he's close enough to hit you, he's too close for that kick. And you simply haven't managed the distance, in other words you have too many gaps in your social boundaries and you allowed him in. Again, lack of confidence, and fear (of repercussions, social or violent).
So did you think of the back kick while he was there, which would mean that you were getting yourself worked up and anxious, not paying any attention to the reality of the situation in front of you, or was it afterwards when you thought back to it which is you overanalysing a situation you felt powerless in, and over-reacting after the fact. Again, fear. And fantasy. Oh, and so you know ninjutsu doesn't have such kick (at least not in the way you're meaning), so this just shows that despite your tapes and your profile statement, your primary art is not ninjutsu at all. Just a point. Actually you know what, don't answer those ones. There's no point.
Because of the vandalism and attempted thefts of my car I have kind of wished that there was some way of putting something like a Cobra or a rattlesnake in my car just to keep my car from being broken into.
This screams a fearful fantasy. Get a good car alarm. Probably cost as much as a cobra, and you don't have to feed it or worry about it biting you. Seriously, what is the point of this idea? You're just coming off as quite delusional.
I don't know about you, but I personally think that if a person were to see something like a Cobra in a car then they would definitely not want to even try to break into the car because I personally think that they would have a very difficult time explaining to both the doctors and to the cops as to how they got bitten.
Pointless. See above.
It's not a bad idea, but there are problems with that idea. Two of the big problems that I see with them are the law and of course the problem of as to how you would prevent the Cobra or rattlesnake from bitting you when you decided that you needed to go somewhere. Of the two idea's I think that the Cobra would be the best deterent because of it's classical dance that it does with it's hood open.
No, the problem is it is a completely fantasy based responce to an imagined potential future problem. Your car may have been broken into in the past, it may be again in the future, but you are fantasising here. Absolutely pointless waste of energy.
Oh, and a rattler is an ambush predator, it probably wouldn't be seen as it would be hiding under the seat to bite whoever sat down.
I don't know about you, but I can just imagine the kind of conversation that might occur between a thief, the doctor and the police when asked as to how he got bitten.
And the big word to pay attention to there is "imagine". That is all you are doing. And it is the same as saying you can imagine the conversation if you drew a lightsaber and carved your initials into their forehead. Thoroughly pointless. There is no reason for this to be in any post here other than for comedic value, although as you have said the same thing in other threads I fear that it isn't.
In my mind the conversation would be something along the lines of 'I got bit while trying to steal a car'. Ok, now maybe I am wrong, but I personally think that would be more than enough evidence for the cops to want to take the guy into custody once he is well enough to do so. Assuming that the snake did bite him and did not just happen to scare the living tar out of him.
Wow, I thought even you might have stopped this completely ridiculous train of thought before now... Last time, everybody... POINTLESS!
Because of everything that I have experienced and seen I have become a very, very skeptical person and as such I just don't believe everything that everyone says. At the same time however I try to look for the good in people and because of what I have studied relating to NLP I tend to believe that anything you put your mind to is possible.
No, you look for the lack of good. You only focus on the good aspects to notice their absence. And the NLP has done nothing for you except possibly increase your vocabulary a bit. And that has only deepened your misinterpretations.
Because of some of the people that I have run across in the past and because of my interest in the whole dating, mating and relating game I have also started to study things like psychology and the enneagram and according to psychologists all people are crazy and in severe need of medication.
Maybe not everybody, but if you are seeing it in everybody then I would suggest looking closer to home... and the psychology thing has had about the same impact as the NLP has. Stop until you have someone who can actually guide you through it, and if they say you shouldn't be involved, listen to them. I fear that may be the case. NLP is not for everybody, you know.
I personally think that they are the ones that are crazy and that they are completely missing the big picture as they are not taking into account things like culture and personality at all into their equation. All that they are doing is looking for the negative and are not taking into account that some of people's behavior is and can be attributed to how they think and feel about themselve's and other's as well their environment.
Well, this is pretty classic projection, really. You are now saying that professional psychologists have it all wrong and you know better? Really? I don't know, I would tend to take the opinions of the professional over you, no offence, but I feel they may actually have some understanding of the subjects. Get some reality. And some of that professional help you don't trust.
Simple common sense says that if you take the average person and put them in some place where there is high crime then fear can and will take over and that can cause them to potentially fight. That is the fight or flight syndrome.
No, that is not the fight or flight syndrome. The fight or flight responce (note the different word here...) relates to the process and responce brought on by the effects of a sudden adrenaline dump, and is influenced by such things as relative distance, and exposure to adrenalised situations (previous experience). And, no, common sense does not say that fear will take over. The individual in question will hopefully kick up their awareness, but living in that kind of fear constantly will overload the body and lead to some real health issues, so you will find that most people will not have the "fear take over". You, on the other hand, are assuming that everyone else will do what you are doing, and that is normal for everyone, but I have to tell you, it just isn't. And if you had understood the first thing about the psychology you had read about, that may have already dawned on you as well.
Those same emotions and instincts also effect and influence how people think and act in other situations as well and that is what I have been saying all along.
No, what you have been sayin gall along is that everyone should react the way you have, and frankly, the way you have reacted is not particularly sane. But to say that people act according to the influence of their emotions and instincts is just parroting words you haven't understood. Now, if you could explain how a particular emotion or instinct affected someone, that would be different, but what you have said is basically the equivalent of saying that words said affect what is heard, and the words said back. Well, yes. What's your point?
If for example you go to a comedy club with some friends that you know and trust or you are in an environment in which you feel you will not be adversely judged for being yourself then it is a lot easier for you to open up and to share things with friends and family like your thoughts, dreams, attitudes, and opinions about certain things and it is also generally a lot easier for you to be able to feel comfortable doing things like laughing and making jokes.
Again, really, what is your point? You feel more comfortable around people you feel more comfortable around? Is that it? What has this to do with anything discussed so far?
I've also learned that things like NLP can be used in business situations to help to overcome objections because people tend to think very negative and I have personally experienced that myself in various situations.
No, missed the point. People actually tend to think positively, you can clue into that and generate responces you want, by doing things such as false negatives, creating yes-ladders, and disguising your words as outside concepts, rather than personalised. But if you can't get your head around NLP's most basic concepts there, don't go around trying it. You'll get uncontrolled results, and that can lead to some very bad situations. Stop.
Besides, the best use for NLP is not on others, it is on yourself. If you are going to do anything, look to yourself only. I repeat, yourself ONLY.
One such situation was a job interview that I was in for a job in which I was being interviewed by a woman. This occured on more than one occasion. In one case I was asked to sell the woman a hypothetical car, yet the job did not have anything to do with selling cars. The job that I was at that time applying for was that of a customer service representative at Victoria's Secret Direct in their call center here in New Mexico.
This is a common enough test to see how eloquent you are, how you handle objections, how you manage to think on your feet etc. Doesn't matter what the job was, Victoria's Secret or MacDonalds.
I did not get the job because I failed to ask her the right questions that would get her to picture the car in her mind and as to what was important to her in a car in terms of features and amenities. Had I been better with my questioning at the time then it is very possible that I could have talked her into wanting to by the hypothetical car and into wanting to hire me for the job.
No, you didn't get the job for other reasons. I don't think it had anything to do with you not qualifying the interviewer properly for a car. I would say that there are many other factors that would have stopped her from hiring you, and NLP would not have helped at all.
Okay, that was rather involved. But it seems that this thread has been completely hijacked, and hopefully we can put an end to it now. rdonovan1, this is enough, really. I ask that you stick to the thread topics in future, as you have a way to go in your forum etiquette. So I actually recommend you don't answer this post, although I will welcome anything you wish to say via PM, as this thread has been off it's rails for too long now, and this is not the first time it has happened with you.
Hopefully we can get better from here. Remember, everything I have said, as well as others, has been to help you. But you need to start to take it on board, or else I don't see much that you are really getting out of this.
