As a woman, taught and trained by a woman, in a coed martial art... I think the issue of being unpreparred for the violence is the same for both sexes. While men are better prepared to respond to aggression with aggression, the brutality of an unexpected attack is a disadvantage for both sexes.
Laymen Self-Defense Classes
Any self-defense class is going to be limited by time, practice, and hesitancy of participants--both trainers who don't want to be sued, and learners who do not want to hurt or be hurt. I have participated in many self-defense trainings with girls, women, even the elderly. Each class is never more than an hour and you have to tailor what you can to their age and ability and their likely attackers. I can't grab my trainee with the aggression they are going to experience, only the strength... I can't surprise my trainee with the suddenness of a brutal attack, I can only respond unexpectantly to their effort to defend and keep them thinking. The best we can do for men or women is teach them how to stay calm and escape detainment if possible. How to be mindful and preventative, and how to be prepared when forced to be in possibly dangerous situations. The real difference in self-defense is not male vs female. It is practice and preparation. The woman, like me, who has trained, taught, fought, and is always conscious of risks surrounding me is in a better place than the strongest man with no preparation...
Marital Arts Self-defense
Now if your question in martial arts trained men vs women, here women should be at an definite ADVANTAGE becasue they are always training with bigger, stronger, possibly faster opponents. While both sexes are receiving the same training, only the women are practicing against a constant challenge. I personally completed in full-contact as a younger woman and even at 14, 15, 16, 17, I sparred with full grown men, full contact. While the most powerful did pull their strength a bit... it wasn't enough to keep a girl from flying if she wasnt mindful and never not practicing their best techniques to win. I also had a violently abusive parent, undiagnosed bipolar, who was much bigger and stronger. I did not fight... only made it worse, but was able to defend myself and evade, prevent major injury and sometimes even stop aggressive responses because this parent was just another opponent. (diagnosed, medicated and pretty awesome now) Such attacks could be a complete surprise, but I knew how to protect myself. The same is true for assault, experienced that early in college due to failing to be mindful of the risks at my young "I can fly" age. Traumatic as that was, I know I was safer for the years I spent training, better prepared and better responding than any one who only had a self-defense course or two.... or worse, no preparation at all!
In either case, laymen or arts, we can only talk about, show images or push each other as far as is safe in civil interactions. This is a disadvantage to anyone in a true sudden moment of brutality.
It seems to me that men best avoid violence through projecting confidence and not challenging other men, Intentionally or unintentionally. There are men who look for reasons to fight other men, but you don’t see this so much with women. Women on the other hand are often seen as prey by default, underestimated, and quick to kindness in the face of clear boundary violations. Thus, women have to project an aura of “don’t f— with me” when they feel threatened, and be prepared to immediately stab the man in critical areas if necessary. I’ve heard that an issue with women‘s self-defense classes, is that they don’t actually give women a taste of the extreme violence they’ll face, and then they’re completely caught off guard when a real sexual assault or rape happens.
What would you say are the key differences between women’s and men’s self defense?
