mj-hi-yah said:
In a real fight I would kick my attacker in the groin, in sparring I have to use my speed to evade and create other openings, as I can't really hit the guys in their groin. Is it the same or different for grappling? In training in grappling situations how as woman do we learn to grapple fairly with a 200+ pound training partner when we can't do the instinctual things we may need to do in reality to roll him over and get away? How do you train for reality without really hurting your partners? Can anyone give examples of grappling techniques that are specific to women or let's say a smaller opponent that helps gain leverage without hurting someone?
Two things. First sparring and self-defense are related, but not the same thing. There are rules for sparring and not for self-defense. So you should train them both and understand the differences.
The same goes for grappling. Grappling is all about leverage and positioning. You should learn how to move into more favorable positions without having to use much strength. Therefore, a smaller person can out maneuver a larger person. Also, grappling can be practiced with more self-defense aspects or more sport aspects. You need to understand the difference. In a self-defense aspect, you can strike, kick, bite, gouge, grab, rip, tear, whatever in order to facilitate your escape. What training in grappling provides is the knowledge and practice of what really would work and what just gets you in more danger. You will react how you train. If you don't practice grappling skills, they won't be there to help you when you need them.
Here's an example from someone I see that doesn't practice any grappling skills. A 300lb rapist is sitting on your stomach. You push at his chest (you can't reach his face), striking it with your fists, to no avail. He grabs your wrists, taking even that away from you. He's practically laughing at you. You squirm and struggle but get no where. You burn a lot of energy trying futily to escape. Eventually he's got you. Some people have turned over onto their stomach, trying to deny that the guy is on them. Some have simply given up.
Here's a grappling example. A 300lb rapist (by the way, this is unrealistic because most attackers are 170lbs, your average guy) is sitting on your stomach. You know that you can't generate enough power from your back to really hurt him, so you don't try. You know that you're in almost the worst position possible (the only one worse is if he's on your back) and know that you *have to* improve your position if you have any chance to succeed. You can try to roll him over using an umpa (bridge and roll), but you probably won't succeed since you've practiced it a million times on someone his size. But, what you probably can do is what's called an elbow escape and get to a position where he's between your legs and your feet are gripping his hips (open guard). You know that this is an "even" position, where both of you have strikes and defenses available. You then straighten one leg, locking it out and sit up. He can't get closer to you because your leg keeps him away. You are free to use your hands to strike him (slaps for instance) and your free leg to kick him (stomp kicks). Once he backs away enough, you can use your speed to turn over into a sprinter's stride and bolt or what's called "standing in base", depending on where he's at.
I have practiced this, nearly full contact, in my self-defense course. I wore head gear and a chest protector. They whacked me good, but they learned what power they still possessed in that and several other positions.
I'm over 200lbs and have been "tapped out" by little 110lb women. One little slip and they can choke you until you pass out or break your arm off with a little push.
WhiteBirch
VERY 
