MJS said:
You said that you wanted to train in another art for the wrong reason. What was that reason if you dont mind me asking??
Mike
This will probably make me sound like a total idiot to the more experienced MAist. Its a long story...
There is such a huge build up to BB. For months I trained as hard as I could, even got a personal trainer at the gym to get me to my peak etc. Did the grading, what a blast, would give anything to be able to do it again as I love the pressure that it put me under.
Anyway after that I had to have some time off sick and wasnt able to have much contact for the last 5 mths after so you start to get soft. We had new people starting all the time and I was expected to help with Instructing. I didnt feel I had the right to be doing that when I couldnt participate in it myself. Didnt think I was good enough.
After I started to come right and get back into it I felt I had lost my edge and I was Instructing more and more and to be honest I felt like I was cast aside and forgotten about. I did not realise the importance of Instructing to my own training. I thought the only way you could learn was by being one of the crowd being told what to do and to jump when the Instructor said. For years I had been told what to do jumped when told and didnt really think about it.
After having Instructed a little more - Adults and children, I have found I am learning more and have alot more to learn. I am also doing more training for my next syllabus (2nd degree) can see things a little differently dont want to jump off this hill before I get to the top. No need yet to do something else when I dont feel I have finished what I am doing and really enjoy.
To be honest - never saw myself as a teacher, never had enough faith in my own ability until I saw some of my students improving and asking for more help from me before their class had started. When you are talking about children who are 8 years old wanting "Your" help and seeing them improve because of "You" it makes it worth while.
The short of it all was I was going to jump to another school so I could go back to being the new person as I was scared of the responcibility I had been given.
My Instructors are open to any discussons about all aspects of training and keep very open minds. They would never say you cant go somewhere else or whatever as the individual does need to make their own decision. They are there to give guidance and do it well.
So hope this makes sense.
Cheers D