What do you call it when you can't get yourself to train?

[now disabled]

I just wanted to give an update that I've managed to get back to training on my own regularly. I made it to a couple of classes too. The dojo that I joined over a year ago takes about an hour and a half for me to get to. So I knew full well when I signed up that this wasn't going to be a class I could attend 3 days/week. I'm lucky if I get there once or twice a week. My training highly relies on my self discipline and motivation to train at home on a regular basis. What would probably help is if I could find someone nearby who just wants to workout, maybe even do a little MA training once a week. But ya, I have gotten back to it and made it over whatever mental hurdle was keeping me from it. Thanks to everyone who had positive advice and words of encouragement.

Well done

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

I just wanted to give an update that I've managed to get back to training on my own regularly. I made it to a couple of classes too. The dojo that I joined over a year ago takes about an hour and a half for me to get to. So I knew full well when I signed up that this wasn't going to be a class I could attend 3 days/week. I'm lucky if I get there once or twice a week. My training highly relies on my self discipline and motivation to train at home on a regular basis. What would probably help is if I could find someone nearby who just wants to workout, maybe even do a little MA training once a week. But ya, I have gotten back to it and made it over whatever mental hurdle was keeping me from it. Thanks to everyone who had positive advice and words of encouragement.

Awesome!

 

[dvcochran]

I just wanted to give an update that I've managed to get back to training on my own regularly. I made it to a couple of classes too. The dojo that I joined over a year ago takes about an hour and a half for me to get to. So I knew full well when I signed up that this wasn't going to be a class I could attend 3 days/week. I'm lucky if I get there once or twice a week. My training highly relies on my self discipline and motivation to train at home on a regular basis. What would probably help is if I could find someone nearby who just wants to workout, maybe even do a little MA training once a week. But ya, I have gotten back to it and made it over whatever mental hurdle was keeping me from it. Thanks to everyone who had positive advice and words of encouragement.

That is great! I was certain you would get there on your own. Is there a gym close enough to you to see if you could find someone there to work out with? Just a thought. Or maybe someone you work with?

 

[_Simon_]

I just wanted to give an update that I've managed to get back to training on my own regularly. I made it to a couple of classes too. The dojo that I joined over a year ago takes about an hour and a half for me to get to. So I knew full well when I signed up that this wasn't going to be a class I could attend 3 days/week. I'm lucky if I get there once or twice a week. My training highly relies on my self discipline and motivation to train at home on a regular basis. What would probably help is if I could find someone nearby who just wants to workout, maybe even do a little MA training once a week. But ya, I have gotten back to it and made it over whatever mental hurdle was keeping me from it. Thanks to everyone who had positive advice and words of encouragement.

Ah that's fantastic, really great to hear . Thank you for sharing all this with us too.

(Oh and I tried to edit my prior posts from 'he' to 'she' but couldn't haha apologies!)

 

[Prostar]

I used to het tired of doing it at about seven year intervals. I called it the seven year yucks.
Eventually, I moved to different parts of the country, which made it much more difficult to continue. I ended up as a SCUBA instructor.
I digress.
Whenever those periods of the yucks struck I doubled down and made myself show up and work through it.
I eventually retired after 35 years in martial arts. I stayed retired for 15 years until I judged at two tournaments this year and found that I still really enjoy it.

 

[dvcochran]

I used to het tired of doing it at about seven year intervals. I called it the seven year yucks.
Eventually, I moved to different parts of the country, which made it much more difficult to continue. I ended up as a SCUBA instructor.
I digress.
Whenever those periods of the yucks struck I doubled down and made myself show up and work through it.
I eventually retired after 35 years in martial arts. I stayed retired for 15 years until I judged at two tournaments this year and found that I still really enjoy it.

Baltimore sounds like a chilly place for a lot of SCUBA. I did some diving in Charleston, SC on an old Civil war ship and a couple of other sunken wrecks. It was very murky for the surface down. We dove three different sites; one 1/2 mile off shore, the second 5 miles off shore, the third 12 miles. They all had a wicked thermocline at about 30 feet. I think the lower temperature was in the 60's and it was in the middle of the summer. I only had on a 3mm full suit so I did not want to stay down very long.

 

[gucia6]

I just wanted to give an update that I've managed to get back to training on my own regularly. I made it to a couple of classes too. The dojo that I joined over a year ago takes about an hour and a half for me to get to. So I knew full well when I signed up that this wasn't going to be a class I could attend 3 days/week. I'm lucky if I get there once or twice a week. My training highly relies on my self discipline and motivation to train at home on a regular basis. What would probably help is if I could find someone nearby who just wants to workout, maybe even do a little MA training once a week. But ya, I have gotten back to it and made it over whatever mental hurdle was keeping me from it. Thanks to everyone who had positive advice and words of encouragement.

that's great to hear. Keep it up.

In all I admire you... 1.5 h to get to dojo... respect. I have 5-10 minutes (depending on traffic).

 

[pdg]

What would probably help is if I could find someone nearby who just wants to workout, maybe even do a little MA training once a week.

Skype workout sessions?

Yeah, it'll be crap for refining techniques

But it'd give you an appointment to keep and put someone else in the room to push you.

 

[pdg]

Edit, I do not know if the OP is a he or she. FWIW

She's a she.

Well, she was when she introduced herself...

 

[JowGaWolf]

Ugh... I don't know if it's laziness, a little depression, or something else. But I can't seem to motivate myself to train... it's been about a month. I have a lot going on right now, like a giant wild fire burning just about 20 miles from my house, weird stuff coming up and keeping me out of class, and just regular family obligations. But seriously, I'm in a real funk right now!
Does anyone have advice or can share something that helps with this type of thing? Aside from the obvious, just do it! I fully intend to wake up and make "today the day" that I get back at it... but every morning I find some excuse not to. In all honesty, I think it's because I've started drinking again after over a year of not drinking. I'm not like a hard core alcoholic but it seems even a glass or two of wine in the evening squashes my spirit and leads me away from training. Can anyone here relate?

I can't relate to the drinking part, but I can relate to the "laziness" and "unmotivated part."

The only answer I have is a zen or spiritual one. For me. When I get like that, then it's because there is something more important in my life that I need to pay attention to, but I'm too "dumb" to understand what that is. So I go with the flow of that "unmotivated" feeling and I turn my attention to other things that I need to be addressing in my life. 9 times out of 10 my motivation comes back once I get through those tasks. In my experience life has a strange way of guiding people and putting us where we need to be. It's only when we fight it that we muck things up and life becomes more difficult. Sometimes this is the cause of the lack of motivation for me. It's going to be different for each person.

Sometimes it's just the wild fire burning about 20 miles from your house, that would be a legit worry for a lot of people.
Other times there is a reason why weird stuff comes up and family obligations seems to be on overload. Maybe its your hint that you shouldn't be in class and you may not figure out the reason why until later on. The good thing about martial arts is that you can train from your home. So train from your home even if it's just a light training.

The way that I tell the difference between laziness and guidance is that laziness feels good. Guidance always feels like something is stopping me from doing or that it feels like the world is pushing against me.. The "stopping" doesn't mean that I have to stop Martial Arts. It just means that I should be doing something else at that time period.

Not sure if what I said helps, but this is what usually goes on in my life.

 

[_Simon_]

I can't relate to the drinking part, but I can relate to the "laziness" and "unmotivated part."

The only answer I have is a zen or spiritual one. For me. When I get like that, then it's because there is something more important in my life that I need to pay attention to, but I'm too "dumb" to understand what that is. So I go with the flow of that "unmotivated" feeling and I turn my attention to other things that I need to be addressing in my life. 9 times out of 10 my motivation comes back once I get through those tasks. In my experience life has a strange way of guiding people and putting us where we need to be. It's only when we fight it that we muck things up and life becomes more difficult. Sometimes this is the cause of the lack of motivation for me. It's going to be different for each person.

Sometimes it's just the wild fire burning about 20 miles from your house, that would be a legit worry for a lot of people.
Other times there is a reason why weird stuff comes up and family obligations seems to be on overload. Maybe its your hint that you shouldn't be in class and you may not figure out the reason why until later on. The good thing about martial arts is that you can train from your home. So train from your home even if it's just a light training.

The way that I tell the difference between laziness and guidance is that laziness feels good. Guidance always feels like something is stopping me from doing or that it feels like the world is pushing against me.. The "stopping" doesn't mean that I have to stop Martial Arts. It just means that I should be doing something else at that time period.

Not sure if what I said helps, but this is what usually goes on in my life.

That was awesome, great post and that's so true. Life usually tells us and communicates important things to us, and we can listen to that guide or pretend we know better.

That was helpful for me to hear too at the moment... so thank you [emoji120]

 

[JowGaWolf]

That was awesome, great post and that's so true. Life usually tells us and communicates important things to us, and we can listen to that guide or pretend we know better.

That was helpful for me to hear too at the moment... so thank you [emoji120]

Your welcome. I'm glad it was helpful to you.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

the "laziness" and "unmotivated part."

My issue is the opposite. Everyday I told myself that I was going to take easy today. I ended up still doing what I did as the day before.

My issue is the "guilty feeling". I'm afraid if I stop doing today, I may stop doing tomorrow, and I may stop doing forever. May be I just don't have faith in myself that "I will take easy today, but I'll train hard tomorrow."

My Taiji teacher told me that I will appreciate Taiji when I get older. Today, I still don't appreciate Taiji. I'm afraid that the moment I start to appreciate Taiji, the moment that my heart no longer feel young. I just can't let that happen.

- Throwing a high kick make me feel young.
- Do a slow Taiji movement make me feel old.

My fear is "If I don't use it, I may lose it forever." I want to be lazy. But I don't know how and I'm afraid to do it.

Laziness -> bad body shape -> high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problem -> death

 

[JowGaWolf]

My issue is the "guilty feeling". I'm afraid if I stop doing today, I may stop doing tomorrow, and I may stop doing forever. May be I just don't have faith in myself that "I will take easy today, but I'll train hard tomorrow."

I used to be this way and ironically injuries showed me the light. I used to push myself until injuries made me stop. Each time I healed I realized I felt stronger than I did before I was injured. The rest that I was forced to take was what was allowing me to become stronger.

Now I have a better trust in the benefit of resting. I still remain active but I don't push at all.. My rest days may be walking through my forms or enjoying my garden. In terms of martial arts training, neither benefits my fighting, but it makes me feel l did something when in reality it was just a lazy effort. Then I don't get that guilty feeling, that I've stopped doing something.

It took me a while to get like this, but now I'm kind of a junky with it. I like the feeling of having rested muscles. It makes me feel stronger and makes me want to practice harder simply because in my mind it's like I have new strength. In reality it's not new strength, it's just not worn out strength.

 

[_Simon_]

My issue is the opposite. Everyday I told myself that I was going to take easy today. I ended up still doing what I did as the day before.

My issue is the "guilty feeling". I'm afraid if I stop doing today, I may stop doing tomorrow, and I may stop doing forever. May be I just don't have faith in myself that "I will take easy today, but I'll train hard tomorrow."

My Taiji teacher told me that I will appreciate Taiji when I get older. Today, I still don't appreciate Taiji. I'm afraid that the moment I start to appreciate Taiji, the moment that my heart no longer feel young. I just can't let that happen.

- Throwing a high kick make me feel young.
- Do a slow Taiji movement make me feel old.

My fear is "If I don't use it, I may lose it forever." I want to be lazy. But I don't know how and I'm afraid to do it.

Laziness -> bad body shape -> high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problem -> death

Ah yep I know that feeling, I'd definitely look into the guilt feelings.

There's a difference between laziness and planned rest and recovery. I'm finding rest to be so important for me nowadays, and if I ever feel guilty, it's usually due to that need to constantly do-do-do, and like you said it can catastrophise into the 'what ifs' which eventually leads to death. So I question the guilt, and really ask "well, what would actually be the result of having a rest day?". I always then find I'm so very relieved to have a day of rest, and it's a real honoring of myself to do so. A real service to myself .

But yeah more and more I'm inquiring into this, as a life lived driven by guilt and fear just doesn't seem worth it at all, and I no longer want to live like that. So finding out what the guilt is about... eg if I don't train does it mean I'm worthless, incapable, going to lose my youth/energy etc etc.

All these assumptions we carry just weigh us down, the body obviously ages, but we don't have to lose the spirit of youth, and I'm certainly learning to ease up on myself nowadays, that's its 100% okay to have a slobbing around day of rest if I'm buggered.

For you (just a thought, you certainly dont have to!) I'd really recommend scheduling in a day of rest, no training at all (maybe light stretching if you like), and just seeing what comes up in you and process those fears and guilts, allow them to come up and really question them. And just as a way of being kind to yourself, caring for yourself also means giving yourself permission to rest. Can easily train the day after, and you may even feel so much better for it


(Am actually STILL in my pyjamas and dressing gown now, and it's 10:30am haha! And I'm loving it)

 

[gucia6]

I can't relate to the drinking part, but I can relate to the "laziness" and "unmotivated part."

I can relate here as well.

In the past I have tried some sports and activities, there as volleyball, gymnastics, standard gym, swimming (and diving), even pole dancing, but I never lasted long in them, finally trying to find all possible excuses just not to go... and I even did not care. Now I know the reason was lack of reason. I just did not have a goal. E.g. now I know I do some resistance exercises to built strength for MA.

OK, I admit, that I still have not figured out why I want to continue with MA. I have some ideas, but it is not yet anything fixed. I mean, I love it, I enjoy the peace of mind it gives me, I put lots of effort and I am extremely happy then I see own progress. I want to practice to become black belt one day, but any deeper reasons behind it, I don't know. I believe one day I will find out.

 

[_Simon_]

OK, I admit, that I still have not figured out why I want to continue with MA. I have some ideas, but it is not yet anything fixed. I mean, I love it, I enjoy the peace of mind it gives me, I put lots of effort and I am extremely happy then I see own progress. I want to practice to become black belt one day, but any deeper reasons behind it, I don't know. I believe one day I will find out.

Yep, pretty much exactly the same here