What do you call it when you can't get yourself to train?
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_Simon_
Senior Master
I'd definitely look into that, that feeling for sure. That burning inside that just loves it so dearly. And of course, for it to not be a dependency like was posted before, but find out what it is exactly that attracts you to it. It's different for everyone, and to be honest I couldn't accurately describe mine haha, but I have a general gist of it.
We all have moments of falling from grace so to speak, so yeah there's definitely to need to be hard on yourself about it. We're human and it's truly okay to have those moments. And important even, as we learn more and more about ourselves through the process. But that's awesome you've really got an awareness as to the effects of drinking on you. So finding out what it is that keeps leading you back to drinking seems crucial.
Yep that's awesome, if I'm feeling really low, sometimes I'll even say, I'll train just for 5 or 10 minutes. It always, always ends up being alot more than that haha, as I just end up enjoying it too much.
AWESOME. That's really great man. Yeah there seems to be a link there hey between drinking and your training. But yeah, definitely remember this win (it's not an insignificant thing) and use it to fuel you. Well done dude!
And going by the fact that you're really reading and taking in everyone's posts (going by your liking them), it truly shows that you care about this issue alot and are willing to see it resolved. Your willingness is the only thing that's necessary, so that's really encouraging
You can be enamoured of Martial Arts without actually training. It's called being a fan. Not a darn thing wrong with that, either. You can also be a fan and still do some training as well. Even if it's part time.
The most difficult part of Martial Arts is not the actual training itself, it's getting oneself to the dojo. This problem is universal and has spanned continents since time immemorial. It will always be our basic struggle, yours, mine, all of us.
As for the title of the thread, what I call it is Thursday. At least that's what I call it today. What I'll call it next time remains to be seen.
The most difficult part of Martial Arts is not the actual training itself, it's getting oneself to the dojo. This problem is universal and has spanned continents since time immemorial. It will always be our basic struggle, yours, mine, all of us.
As for the title of the thread, what I call it is Thursday. At least that's what I call it today. What I'll call it next time remains to be seen.
Side note, when i initially saw the thread title, i thought it was going to be a joke. So...with the title as the question, can anyone think up a good punchline?
dvcochran
Grandmaster
Man, all these people telling you to go see a shrink? I did not hear anything that made me think you were anywhere near that stage. You can fix it.
_Simon_
Senior Master
What do you call it when you can't get yourself to train?
...
Hmmmmm, maybe try get to bus.
[emoji23]
Anarax
Master Black Belt
The mind/brain is a very complex and widely misunderstood thing in society. Referring someone to a mental health professional is a great preface for anyone experiencing non-traceable fluctuations in their emotions. If he said he had a painful sensation in his chest and one of his arms went numb, most would refer him to the ER. It could turn out to be nothing serious, but consulting a trained professional is a valid option. For some reason we treat mental health and bodily health as two separate categories, at least in the US.
Headhunter
Senior Master
Because he said hes not sure if he is depressed
dvcochran
Grandmaster
Yes, but he needs to at least try to fix the problem himself. He took a good step and reached out to the forum so he is processing things well. We all do it differently and being able to work through adversity is a big part of what MA is all about.
dvcochran
Grandmaster
Man, just give the OP some encouragement to do something on their own. They never mentioned hurting themselves or worse. They are going through a rough patch and was reaching out for experienced advise on this forum because MA is a venue that helped in the past. Of course if the symptoms continue to linger then professional advise is warranted.
dvcochran
Grandmaster
The OP liked the comment. That should count for something.
Going to see a professional is doing something on your own...
JR 137
Grandmaster
I didn’t want to quote every post, so I took the first one.
You could be completely right, or completely wrong. If you’re right, no harm done in seeking a professional. If you’re wrong? Consider the consequences. People are pretty cautious these days about depression. How often has it been in the news lately with all these celebrities?
Everyone feels down at times, that part of what makes us human. And if everyone ran to a professional every time they felt down, nothing would ever get done anywhere. But the OP says it’s been going on for a month or so. And his/her drinking MAY be an issue too. When someone’s not motivated to do things they truly enjoy, and for a good amount of time, there could quite possibly be a more serious underlying issue. That’s a red flag. Definitely not a guarantee by any means, but a red flag nonetheless. If everyone says “yeah you’re fine, you can fix it by yourself,” what if the OP thinks that but actually can’t?
I personally know a few people who thought they could fix depression by themselves and ended up that they couldn’t. Needless to say most of them are no longer with us.
Again, I’m not saying this is going to happen to the OP, and yes that’s an extreme, but who knows the OP outside this forum and can see what he/she isn’t telling us? Not me. It’s best to err on the side of caution.
JR 137
Grandmaster
I forgot to mention this in my previous post and can’t go back and edit now...
How long should the OP wait? A few more days? Weeks? Months? Years?
There’s no magic formula. A problem that I’ve seen with this stuff is people wait it out thinking it’s just a rough patch and they’ll be fine when the stuff blows over. Weeks go by, turning into months. Sometimes even longer. Then it gets to the point where they can’t remember what started it all and they’re so much worse off.
I’m not diagnosing anything nor anyone. I have no idea what point the OP is at. Neither does anyone else here. And often, what people in depression tell others is the very tip of the iceberg.
If I’m going to advise ANYTHING at all, I’m going to say be smart and talk to a professional rather than a bunch of random MA guys on a forum with zero professional experience.
Should someone ask us about cancer treatment? Auto repair? Diagnosing reading problems in their kids? All with a huge grain of salt, and talking to actual people who actually do that, and in person.
mrt2
Brown Belt
A couple of points.
1. If OP is just a bit burned out, maybe all he needs is some encouraging words from internet strangers. It is hard to say from a distance what is actually going on.
2. I agree that weeks turning into months is a critical point.
Back when I first trained in MA back in the 80s, my training was pretty consistent for 2 1/2 years. 3, sometimes 4 or even 5 times per week, but generally, reliably 3 times per week with very few breaks of more than a week off. Then, the summer of '82, maybe I went down to around twice per week, followed by a stretch of maybe a month where I only went sporadically, followed by a 1 month hiatus where I didn't train at all. And then, I "officially" quit, calling my teacher and telling him I would not be renewing my contract which was coming up in early November.
This type of pattern has repeated itself over the years not just with martial arts but with other physical routines I have done over the years. What makes martial arts practice so critical is, while in a sense you have to answer mostly to yourself, you also have to answer to your instructor as well, so there is an element of shame to deal with in skipping a lot of time. Is he going to take away my belt? Even if he doesn't, I could see others who came up after me were surpassing me, and that was a hard thing to deal with. Maybe I am projecting, but among the things I thought of back when I gave up my MA practice as a teenager was, from the summer of 1982 through the early fall, I was having to deal with maybe, actually getting worse, or further away from my goals for the first time in over 2 years. Up to that point, I felt as if I was getting better, and it was hard to deal with the set back of maybe getting worse. I think I could deal with that better now than I did then, as I have gone through this many times. But back then, I didn't deal with that especially well.
JR 137
Grandmaster
I agree with maybe a little encouragement from us is all the OP needs. And that’s probably the case. But what if it’s not? Telling someone they DON’T need help isn’t exactly the smartest nor most responsible thing to do. That was really my point in all of that rambling. It most likely got lost in the mix.
Anarax
Master Black Belt
Seeking professional help is them taking initiative to fix it.
Unfortunately the idea of self-inflicted harm is rarely expressed verbally compared to when it is. People are amazing at putting up fronts when they're barely getting through life.
That's the problem though. Society teaches us that we should be able to fix or overcome anything on our own. Seeking professional help is looked down upon as weakness. I'm not saying you're implying that, but I had numerous patients/people express that to me.
If your adrenal gland wasn't producing enough aldosterone and I told you to force it to start producing more, you'd think I was crazy. Same goes for if you tore a muscle and I said to tell the muscle to heal properly. Both examples have medications, therapy, treatments and professionals to help fix those problems. The mind/brain is perceived differently in society thus there's a stigma to seek mental health care because of said stigma.
_Simon_
Senior Master
Yeah, the whole doing it on your own thing isn't always the best idea.. hence why he's reaching out here.
We don't know the extent of things, but if this is a pattern, and showing signs of real lack of motivation for things he loved prior, along with the alcohol, there's no harm in talking to someone about it.
And that's right, maybe all that he (I don't like talking about people in third person as though he's not here! Haha) could use is encouragement. But you don't have to be mentally ill to talk to a therapist or someone who will listen. I spent years trying to do it 'on my own'. It was a terrible, terrible idea. It took dropping alot of pride to realise it's takes more strength and willingness to reach out to others for help. Not what I thought strength was before
We don't know the extent of things, but if this is a pattern, and showing signs of real lack of motivation for things he loved prior, along with the alcohol, there's no harm in talking to someone about it.
And that's right, maybe all that he (I don't like talking about people in third person as though he's not here! Haha) could use is encouragement. But you don't have to be mentally ill to talk to a therapist or someone who will listen. I spent years trying to do it 'on my own'. It was a terrible, terrible idea. It took dropping alot of pride to realise it's takes more strength and willingness to reach out to others for help. Not what I thought strength was before
I just wanted to give an update that I've managed to get back to training on my own regularly. I made it to a couple of classes too. The dojo that I joined over a year ago takes about an hour and a half for me to get to. So I knew full well when I signed up that this wasn't going to be a class I could attend 3 days/week. I'm lucky if I get there once or twice a week. My training highly relies on my self discipline and motivation to train at home on a regular basis. What would probably help is if I could find someone nearby who just wants to workout, maybe even do a little MA training once a week. But ya, I have gotten back to it and made it over whatever mental hurdle was keeping me from it. Thanks to everyone who had positive advice and words of encouragement.
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