Vending Machine

You get a used Jane Fonda video for your collection.


*inserts coin*
 
You press the button and the big metal coil rotates, but not far enough to actually drop the prize.

*inserts coin*
 
You get a subpoena to testify to Congress about your retention bonus... and a special new tax law for it, too.

*inserts coin*
 
You get a hack-sawed carabiner and 100 feet of hour-glassed rope.


*insert coin*
 
You get a headless barbie doll and a note that says "REDRUM! REDRUM! Love, Miffy xoxo"

*Inserts Coin*
 
You get 20 feet of cheap rope and a $1.00 tanto from the local pawn shop.

*Inserts coin*
 
You get an alibi. Good through April 30.

*inserts coin*
 
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