Thanks for all the replies and great suggestions. Guess I should not have started this thing right before a weekend where I had plans...
I will try to have a private conversation with them. While I have talked with them about it, there have been other folks around in the past when I tried. I will also try to mention this situation, the next time I meet up with the leaders in my own organization... to let them know what is going on.
These guys are very traditional. They teach and run the class in the way that they were taught. A very important thing to their instructors, was respecting rank earned in other systems. They allowed me to start my Danzan Ryu class, in their school. (We have since moved and joined a larger dojo, with many more arts) When I wanted to train Karate, they first insisted that I wear my black belt, and line up as a black belt, and do the black belt katas. (or fake them as best as I could) I let this go for a while, as I thought it would be confusing for the students, to see a white belt suddenly put on a black belt and start teaching another class. After a couple of months, once everyone got to know me... I had to approach them and ask to wear a white belt and to start my Karate from the beginning. They were resistant... not wanting to disrespect my rank. I told them that I wanted to respect their system of Karate, and if I didn't have the basics, I would be missing the most important part of their system. I also pointed out that if I took their black belts through the Danzan Ryu brown belt throws and techniques, the Karate Black belts would get very injured... as they have not learned to take those falls. At the end of the day, they now treat me as any other student, as I work through the Karate ranks, wearing the appropriate belts. (actually, they move me a bit slower... at my request, I want to really feel comfortable with the material before getting more... and I am not in this stuff for rank) They however, insist on calling me sensei in class. I introduce myself as "Bill" though, anytime we have visitors or new students.
So why am I only a Shodan after nearly 20 years? Well, first I am not the most gifted at learning this stuff. And second, I never considered it to be a race. It took me ten years of constant training to achieve Shodan. But, there was not a day that I did not learn something or improve something. (lots of days, I learned what I had to work more on and what didn't work...) About a year after making Shodan, I moved to Florida. The closest Danzan Ryu place is in South Carolina. So, the organization wanted me to start a school. In order to test for Dan rank you need an equal number of "active" years. (1 year for Shodan, then 2 additional and consecutive years for nidan, then 3 for sandan...) An "active" year consists of attending at least 3 organization events, one of which must be a competition. When I lived in California, there were a bunch of schools and events and competitions... this was not a problem. Now that I am in Florida, that's 3 cross country trips a year, for 2 years. With family and work commitments... that just won't happen. As it turns out, the board member over the west coast region and the guy over the south east region, co started the same dojo that I trained at when I received my Shodan. There is a little discrepancy over who really founded that dojo and who built it up. There is also a bit of rivalry about which way to do certain techniques, between these two. The guy over the west coast, thinks that the "active" requirements should be waived, since I am running a school and there are not any events down this way. The guy over the south east does not agree with waiving those requirements. (this is partly why I don't want any rumors of my advancement floating around... as it would not help these guys get over their issues) So... I just keep training, and learning. When we get more schools and events this way... or if they decide to waive the travel... or if I end up moving somewhere else closer to other schools.... then I can worry about testing.