Headhunter
Senior Master
No ones being condescending. This is a discussion page you post something people will discuss it. No one hear has been disrespectful in any real way as there's rules against it
OP
OP
Anarax
Master Black Belt
Yes, you have, not that I care if you have. You post reply after reply then finally share your opinion, which is what the thread was all about to begin with. Tez and I are having a conversation and you wish to drop your little half-assed passive aggressive comment after you have already stated your opinion. You even reply to tez on my behalf clarifying something about what I posted. Now you're addressing something I said to tez again. Learn when to bow out of a conversation especially when you have nothing else worthwhile to contribute
Headhunter
Senior Master
Okay buddy you keep crying and having a tantrum lol you're not going to like this forum much if you actually believe that was disrespectful. But not that you care of course and you're not upset at all right. I'm going to post whatever I want so deal with it.
MA_Student
Black Belt
How to handle it? Suck it up move on...what else can you do about it..it's sparring **** happens
Anarax, I've got a question which I can't figure out what's been posted so far. I may have missed it, and if so, just let me know.
In the O/P you described the situation, and how the thing seemed to escalate, with harder and harder techniques being exchanged, etc.
My question is this... Did anyone ever pause to ask a question, or to offer instruction?
Just curious, but this was an obvious teachning moment, definitely for your training/sparring partner, as for her sparring defense work vs. counterpunching people..... and maybe for you as an instance where your ability to teach could be improved?
I've had this type of thing happen before, and back int he day, if they wanted to just amp it up, I'd answer them, going to the same place they would and ending up hurting feelings, marking someone up, generally not being a win-win training situation.
Note: You can "lose" a sparring match and yet still "win" in the gaining of knowledge.
What I've found is a better way is to point out, right when it starts to amp up, that it IS getting more intense... pause just for a moment to make sure both sides are very aware that things are turning in that direction, and then literally stop for a short time, perhaps 10 seconds, and verbally recognize what's happening (she's getting frustrated as she can't make contact, you counter and pop her) and use the moment to teach her how to deal with it. Dealing with it could be anything at all which would improve what she's doing, such as recognizing (she may not even be aware) that she's telegraphing, or making sure the person knows where they leave an opening as they execute a kick/punch/technique, etc.... or how to move to set-up better... whatever it is.
So, did you talk about it at any point, or only after?
In the O/P you described the situation, and how the thing seemed to escalate, with harder and harder techniques being exchanged, etc.
My question is this... Did anyone ever pause to ask a question, or to offer instruction?
Just curious, but this was an obvious teachning moment, definitely for your training/sparring partner, as for her sparring defense work vs. counterpunching people..... and maybe for you as an instance where your ability to teach could be improved?
I've had this type of thing happen before, and back int he day, if they wanted to just amp it up, I'd answer them, going to the same place they would and ending up hurting feelings, marking someone up, generally not being a win-win training situation.
Note: You can "lose" a sparring match and yet still "win" in the gaining of knowledge.
What I've found is a better way is to point out, right when it starts to amp up, that it IS getting more intense... pause just for a moment to make sure both sides are very aware that things are turning in that direction, and then literally stop for a short time, perhaps 10 seconds, and verbally recognize what's happening (she's getting frustrated as she can't make contact, you counter and pop her) and use the moment to teach her how to deal with it. Dealing with it could be anything at all which would improve what she's doing, such as recognizing (she may not even be aware) that she's telegraphing, or making sure the person knows where they leave an opening as they execute a kick/punch/technique, etc.... or how to move to set-up better... whatever it is.
So, did you talk about it at any point, or only after?
OP
OP
Anarax
Master Black Belt
Thank you for your thoughtful question. The more of her kicks I checked the more power she kicked with. I was aware of what was happening, but I didn't say anything. She was a higher belt than me at the time, thus I didn't feel it was appropriate giving direction to a higher rank in that particular system.
I couldn't agree more, I learn the most when I spar someone more skilled than I. Personally I don't walk away from sparring thinking I've won or lost. However; post-sparring I assess and think what do I need to improve on? Yes I tried to speak to her afterwards, but that wasn't productive either.
This is one of the areas where TMA is weak, IMO (as a TMA practitioner). There's a reticence to give advice to those who started before us (the primary reason they are a more advanced rank). Remember this as you advance, and ask advice from those of lower rank who can teach you something.
Surely though at the time you were both white belts? Did she wear her TKD black belt in a karate class?
drop bear
Sr. Grandmaster
Some people dont want to hear it even if they have just been flogged. Giving advice after sparring is kind of an art in itself. Personally I mostly dont bother any more. If they ask I tell them. If they dont. It can be a mystery.
True, there's a lot of individual - and ego - involved. I just think there's a common inhibition in TMA (at least, as I've experienced it) against giving advice to those with higher rank. In part, it is rightly earned, as early on the advice most of us would give to even someone with a year or two of experience would be crap. Later, though, many students are capable of useful feedback. My technique gets better when students tell me which throw, takedown, or lock felt more complete or just barely managed to work. And likewise, when someone tells me the technique just overwhelmed them, who doesn't normally just give in to a technique because they "should".
OP
OP
Anarax
Master Black Belt
One important thing I left out, she's a dirty fighter. She tried to kick me hard in the groin multiple times, tried. When she was unable to break my posture in a clinch, she dug her nails into the back of my neck and tore into it.
Given her attitude and intent, I didn't feel it was a good idea to give her advice. In addition to her higher rank, it was an awkward situation. It was a long round, I'm recalling more details the more I think about it.
We don't have room for more than one pair to spar at a time, it's annoying but can't be helped but it does mean an instructor is watching all the time along with the other students. Feedback is easily given as well as teaching people who want to corner fighters how to 'watch' in a way that will be helpful to their fighter. If one is ramping it up beyond the level decreed by the instructor then that too is easily sorted.
Why didn't you mention this in your OP? It changes the whole situation from the one you described and turns into one that should have been reported to the instructor immediately. It also makes the sparring you did change from her head kicking you to a clinch fight, which was it?
Why do you keep saying she's a higher rank? If her rank is in TKD it doesn't carry over into karate. Is she a higher rank than you in karate?
jayoliver00
Black Belt
In the span of 20 years, I've only knocked out 2 women during sparring. Is that good or bad?
