Our McDojo Sister

[Jonathan Randall]

Well...actually, she's probably in her mid thirties, I'd say. She isn't a black belt, she has a blue belt from her previous school, which she says is the equivelant to our purple belt. At our school purple comes after blue.

If she's in her mid-thirties and still has, apparently, a maturity problem than I don't think you're going to cure her of it. Just protect yourself and don't worry so much about "teaching" her as staying out of her way. Odds are she'll be kicked out of your school for misconduct before too long as she was kicked out of her previous school.

McDojang trained students can be frustrating, though, as they have no basis of comparison and are used to instant gratification in the way of promotions.

 

[evenflow1121]

Well then I have to agree with the above poster, I am really at a loss for words. A mid thirty year old person should have enough common sense to not get up on anyone's face.

 

[hardheadjarhead]

Personally, I don't think that nailing her with some hard shots will educate her. From what you described, she's likely to just leave or blow a fuse.

I'd suggest talking to her about it. Were I the instructor, I'd have her sit down after several warnings...if need be publicly admonishing her to watch her control and lack of technique. I'd try saving face for her by first talking to her behind closed doors. A sample of what I might say:

"If you can't throw clean technique, with control, you can't wear that belt in here. Performing like that reflects poorly on the art and this school. You have to live up to your rank here, and I expect you to start NOW."

I'd ask you to consider that this isn't about the McDojo...this is about her. Indeed it sounds like she was every bit a problem for them, as well. While they're to blame for giving her a belt far too quickly, she's the one with the majority of the issues.

What can you (and your instructor) do to help salvage her as a martial artist?

This could be one of those times you'll look back on with regret, or it could be one of the best moments of your martial arts career where you know you contributed to the development of a person's character. True, no matter how you play it this might turn out bad. Some people are impossible to work with...that said I hope you, your peers, and your instructor don't unintentionally set her up for failure.

Good luck.



Regards,


Steve

 

[Han-Mi]

usually, people this immature don't respond well to suggesting they tone it down. They usually say something like, well if you cant handle it, I'll go somewhere else. They need to understand and respect the abilities of the other students and their well being as the other students do respect hers. Most often this is best accomplished by a short spurt of pain.

 

[Grenadier]

My opinion (and it's just mine):

1) This lady seems to have good spirit, even if some of it may be misplaced. That's good, since you have a pretty nice foundation on which to build.

2) Kindly explain to her, that everyone in the classroom is there to help each other, and not to antagonize. You're all there as professionals, and comrades, and aren't there to beat the stuffing out of each other.

3) Also explain to her, about the merits of practicing with control. By all means, encourage her to go hard, but to also practice the art of pulling one's punches. Explain to her that the principles of tapping the gi versus giving an all-out hit are still the same; one stops at the surface, the other goes 8 inches beyond.

Now, if none of the above are helping...

Some "gentle" humility lessons are in order for her. While nobody should be out to harm her, or even hit her with a brutally hard shot, it wouldn't hurt to let her spar with the more senior students, or yes, even the instructors. If their defenses are good, they can deal with her hard-charging, sloppy techniques.

If she realizes that her techniques aren't getting the job done, maybe that will open her mind to a much greater world. If, though, she continues to persist, then it wouldn't hurt to give a decent thumping shot as a gentle reminder that her methods could use some refinement. Since she's experienced, and has probably taken her share of hits, this shouldn't be too shocking to her.

Above all, be patient. It's probably going to take some time to erase some of the misconceptions that she has learned. If you can help her overcome these, then you'll get the enjoyment of having been a significant contributor to her becoming a fine student.

 

[DavidCC]

Whoever administers the wake-up call to her should definitely be one of your female students.

 

[Han-Mi]

Whoever administers the wake-up call to her should definitely be one of your female students.

Agreed