Sparring Women

[Anarax]

Yeah you said that but then contradict yourself saying women aren't getting trained properly. And yeah it's annoying but that's life get over it, toughen up. There's more important things to worry about than an annoying sparring session

I said most places aren't teaching them under the same conditions as men. I didn't say all women, but it is a problem in martial arts.

 

[Headhunter]

Told off? I was never told off. Tbh, this thread was supposed to open the forum up for discussion about similar experiences. However; people just want to bring emotion into it and get offended. Sounds like you need to look at situations more objectively and check your emotion and sensitivity at the door

LOL here we go again. What the heck have I got to be emotional about. You tell us a story but don't like it if people don't agree with you. If I think you're wrong I'm going to tell you you're wrong sorry if you don't like it....actually nah I'm not. That's how this site works it's not randomly agreeing with every single thing. I'm discussing your opinion on women's training. I've never insulted you I've not called you names I've simply said my opinion.

 

[Tez3]

Told off? I was never told off. Tbh, this thread was supposed to open the forum up for discussion about similar experiences. However; people just want to bring emotion into it and get offended. Sounds like you need to look at situations more objectively and check your emotion and sensitivity at the door

Whoa, steady there. What if we haven't had the same experience though which is what we are telling you. There's no emotion here from us, I guarantee it, no one is offended so you may want to take back your comments. You made statements but they are actually opinions, if you don't like them being challenged then I'm afraid it's not us that is being sensitive.

 

[Headhunter]

I said most places aren't teaching them under the same conditions as men. I didn't say all women, but it is a problem in martial arts.

Well I've been training martial arts for over 40 years all over the world in numerous styles and never seen it

 

[Tez3]

I said most places aren't teaching them under the same conditions as men. I didn't say all women, but it is a problem in martial arts.

No, it's not. You think it is but it's not. It may be a 'problem' in some classes, with some instructors but not in martial arts.

 

[Headhunter]

and why was she wearing a TKD black belt in a karate class?

You get people who think they are greater than they are, you get boasters, it's life. It's not a gender issue but one of someone thinking they are something they'd aren't or are actually far less self confident than they want you to think, again not a gender thing. Actually the OP made a point of telling us that he wasn't a beginner actually though he was a white belt in karate, and had lots of experience so........

There's always the issue of course of how hard is too hard, one person's hard maybe another's well that wasn't very hard! Again though the OP made a point of matching her 'hardness', why? Would it have been difficult to say look let's calm this down a bit or would that seem like giving in to a woman? if a white belt is sparring a black belt, regardless of gender one goes at the pace and force that a white belt can take, not too easy but just enough to challenge the white belt. The black belt has more experience, more control. If they are coming on too hard then stop you don't escalate it.

I also bet I've sparred with more men who go harder than women, I've sparred with more men than women for whom sparring with women is a problem for their egos, this is in karate and grappling.

I might be wrong but I don't think she was wearing the black belt all the op said was she is a black belt. But yeah I never buy into the whole pass it down the line or if you hit me hard I'll hit you harder rubbish that just causes more problems. If I ever get hit hard I'll continue fighting at my same pace and maybe I'll up the speed and frequency of my attacks but never the power or if it's to much I'll tell them to lighten up or simply step away from the spar and refuse to carry on with that partner unless they agree to calm it down. I have nothing to prove to anyone to risk getting my head smashed in and I don't want to potentially hurt someone just for a bit of ego

 

[Headhunter]

Look you want advice this is my advice. Before each spar ask your partner how hard they want the intensity to be if the instructor hasn't already told you what he wants. If they say light sparring then great do it and if they turn up the power tell them we need to keep it light like agreed. If they say they want to go hard that doesn't mean you have to try and knock them out but it means you both know that they may go in hard and if they do complain you can just say they were okay with going hard. But personally I think going in and throwing full contact shots is a waste of time anyway

 

[Tez3]

PS, I've been training for over 40 years as well, karate, MMA MT, BJJ as well as lots of other bits and bobs, I was in the Royal Air Force so travelled around and was lucky enough to try all sorts of things and I'm female.

 

[drop bear]

Well I've been training martial arts for over 40 years all over the world in numerous styles and never seen it

There isnt as many women in martial arts as men and if you have 20 kg on a girl you have to adapt your training. They dont have the depth of expertise to draw off.

We find that issue in our club training fighters. If we had a heap of girls training for fights they could spar and train a bit more realistically.

And yeah I have sparred a few girls who go flat out all the time.

 

[drop bear]

Look you want advice this is my advice. Before each spar ask your partner how hard they want the intensity to be if the instructor hasn't already told you what he wants. If they say light sparring then great do it and if they turn up the power tell them we need to keep it light like agreed. If they say they want to go hard that doesn't mean you have to try and knock them out but it means you both know that they may go in hard and if they do complain you can just say they were okay with going hard. But personally I think going in and throwing full contact shots is a waste of time anyway

 

[Tez3]

There isnt as many women in martial arts as men and if you have 20 kg on a girl you have to adapt your training. They dont have the depth of expertise to draw off.

We find that issue in our club training fighters. If we had a heap of girls training for fights they could spar and train a bit more realistically.

And yeah I have sparred a few girls who go flat out all the time.

In TKD and karate though there are more women than you'll find in MMA or MT, classes are often balanced equally between men and women. I did quite a lot of research on this because I could see and we all knew there were a lot of women in these styles so we were looking to recruit them to come across and try MMA. The karate style I did had a lot of women training as well as instructors.

 

[Tez3]

Not a gender thing though

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Over the years I've sparred many women. Just about all of them were respectful and great martial artists. However; there are those few that wish to take things up a few notches, which I'm all for. The problem lies in their urge to want to up the intensity but when you increases intensity they say it isn't fair.

One example I had was with a Tae Kwon Do black belt that started taking a Karate class that I recently started. I was only a white belt, but I had previous training from other systems that she wasn't aware of. The round starts and she has great speed and technique, but telegraphs every kick. She had very little to no hand skills and was dropping them on every kick. I'm able to check almost everything she throws at me, so I counter attack with very little power. She starts to kick harder but now she's telegraphing even worse than before. I decided to up my striking power to match her own. We wear headgear in sparring and are discouraged from striking the face, only the headgear. She winds up her kick and begins to throw it, I check it as a I deliver a firm strike to her headgear. I feel her getting angrier as she starts kicking harder. I'm able to land the same counter on her multiple times. She eventually loses all composure and tells me I'm hitting to hard. She tells the instructor and he tells both of us to ease up. I was disgusted by her attitude and the lack of discipline a black belt from another system had.

I didn't walk away with any regrets given I just responded to what was thrown at me. I'm curious if anyone else has had a similar experience? Or how they would have handled that situation?

Most likely she'd been able to outclass others in her previous training, and rarely (or never) had to deal with being outclassed. If she was used to it, she wouldn't have been frustrated.

I've run into guys like that, too. More guys than gals, in fact, but that's maybe just due to population distribution in MA.

 

[Anarax]

Whoa, steady there. What if we haven't had the same experience though which is what we are telling you. There's no emotion here from us, I guarantee it, no one is offended so you may want to take back your comments. You made statements but they are actually opinions, if you don't like them being challenged then I'm afraid it's not us that is being sensitive.

Tez 3, I apologize for my previous reply. I got your response confused with someone else. You've been respectful, I apologize for the sending you the wrong message. Thank you for your insight.

 

[Ironbear24]

Sparring is always a bit difficult for me at first because I'm typically friends with everyone in the dojo. I often worry about harming them and go too soft.

Complete strangers however I don't care at all.

Sifu told me to spar as if they are a stranger but that is difficult for me. I am very defensive with friends and family so I am just naturally careful.

In a fight though, he told me to be as the ocean. Not caring what is in my way, just do what you are going to do and that's it. There is a middle ground here that has to be found with everyone and for some it is more difficult.

 

[Kiron]

There is no much difference about the sparring with women. Unless she is pretty skilled that he can go with the flow with her sparring partner who is a man or the man is pretty skilled that he can control the whole fight without hurting the woman.

 

[Touch Of Death]

Oddly enough, they stick me with women, and tell them it's OK to try to kill me.

 

[shihansmurf]

I spar with them the same way I do the male students. I'm mindful of the size/strength difference but if the partner wants to go light I do, if they want to swing for the fences then that is fine as well. I've got a pretty good right cross from my boxing days and I find that most of the time people figure put pretty quickly how to regulate their hitting power after getting stung a couple of times.

Treating a female differently because of their gender sends the message that their rank and skill isn't equal to a male's and I don't believe that. Again, I am mindful of size and strength differences as I am with a male that is smaller than I am but I treat a female brown belt as I would a male brown belt. To do other wise is disrespectful.

Just my view,
Mark

 

[oftheherd1]

She made the point to tell everyone in class she's a "fighter" and is "amazing" at sparring. She also shared with us the hard training she received at her previous school.

Anything else you haven't shared yet that might change responses so far?

I am also curious if since you were obviously superior, did you get her off to the side and offer to show her what she is doing that is so wrong? Even if she was inappropriately angry, if she is anywhere near a good MA, she has to realize that she is either doing something wrong, or you are doing something very good.

And if she is that good an MA, she surely would want to know. How else is she going to have a chance to score on you in the future?

 

[oftheherd1]

I said most places aren't teaching them under the same conditions as men. I didn't say all women, but it is a problem in martial arts.

Cites?