Relationship breakup problem?

[Corporal Hicks]

Hi,
Two days ago I broke up with my girlfriend. She took it badly and didnt understand the view I had even though I lots and lots of factors to take into consideration and I had both her and my long term interests in mind. These being that we had exams coming up in May and I needed to break with her now so she could get over it before them. People are saying I kicked her when she was down (Since I left her when she was having a down spot) and I know I did, but the reason being that if I kicked her now and made her worst its better than kicking her later when shes better and making her go back down again. There are so many factors involved it was so far to make a decision and I had been thinking about it for a long time. What bothers me is that people dont see this and take it at face value, that I am the big bad wolf and its bugging me. People have become shirty towards me and Its only now that I realise who my real friends are. It seems like she seems to be saying some things that are not true, such as how I said she was unattractive when I dumped her, and I know I did not say that. What I did say was that I didnt find her that attractive anymore. I know its harsh but its the truth and surely thats better than any lie.
It seems like some of her friends have started spreading stuff, and the fact I'm a quiet person and people dont know alot about my life is going to bother me that they are now going to take a new view on me. Not only that it seems like I'm going to end up having to take some verbal matches from some of her friends and I dont think I'm actually up to it? Nor from other people? Can you help me? What can I do? I'm down mentally as well and have felt bad for the last couple of days, what can I do to boost my mentally to fight these people off?
Its also occured to me that some little 'friends' of her friends might start a fight with 2maro. I'm 17 and I think its childish. Trouble is, I'm really prepared to totally lay into them if anything happens, and I mean I've had enough now, I dont want to cause somebody some serious damage but I will do what I have to do if they start anything? Am I thinking irrationally?

Sorry if there are rrrors i'm in a hurry!

Regards

 

[KenpoTess]

Hey Nick,

I'm sure most of us have been in your shoes at one time or another.. no matter what.. it is a hard thing to do.. But if you did what you felt was the right thing.. then you only have to listen to your own heart. Sure there's always going to be 'Her friends against you' It's going to happen whether you're 17 or 77.. She was at a low point in her life.. I'm not saying what you did was opportune timing.. it just occured at that moment..
Whatever you do.. Getting into 'their faces' is NOT the wise decision.. if you're the quiet type.. then so be it.. remain so.. you will move on.. and so will they.. what happens when the bully doesn't get a 'Rise out of someone'... he eventually goes away .. If you felt you did what was best for her and yourself.. then don't agonize over what you're hearing.. Rumors are empty words.. Truth is just that.. the Truth.. Sure she's hurt.. and of course she's going to go crying to her friends with 'blah blah blah' all about how bad you are.. SHE's HURT... but she, in time, will get over it.. if you were her 'First Love' she will forget about the pain eventually and remember the good times.. if you're not..she will most likely forget all about you sooner or later.. just the way of a Female

So go on with your life.. study for your exams. .Train hard.. don't fret.. there's always another one out there to take your place.. She will be fine.. and IGNORE the Rantings and Rumormongers~!!!

just my thoughts.. from someone who's been there more times than I can remember

~Tess

 

[Flatlander]

Your life is going to be full of choices. There will be times when you choose wisely, and times when you do not.

You act on behalf of yourself, because for the time being, you are your own problem.

Somebody doesn't like a choice that you made? Fine. That's their problem, not yours. You chose how you did for a reason; it is not your responsibility to justify your decisions to people who have no vested interest in the rest of your life.

You carry on, walking your path. You will find that as you travel it, some folks will want to join you for various parts of it, then take one fork in the road while you follow another. That is their perogative.

You must, as you follow your path, remain honest with and to yourself. Then, when you reach the end of the road, you can know that you walked it with integrity.

 

[The Kai]

The thing is there is no good time to break up with someone!

Hopefully, you did it as gently and gentle manly as possible. How she takes it is out of your control, what she does from this point on shows her stuff. At 17 hopefully your are not looking for lifetime commitment, remember a relationship has to have 2 people into it. If you don't feel, that thing about her you can't fake it.,

PS=Fighting her friends, while seemly unadvoidable, is pointless, stupid and harmfull. Find a way to talk to them