Question: Hostility toward MA???

[Tony]

I have encountered many people who wanted to prove their masculinity by challenging me to a fight and this even before I started training in Kung fu. Its interesting how some of these people like to do it front of females, as if they are suddenly going to impress them enough to go home and sleep with them.
There are still these ego maniacs who like to challenge people, cause trouble and sadly some of these idiots actually practice Martial Arts. This shows me that although they have been training for 10 years or so, they have learnt absolutely nothing. Any dog can learn to fetch a stick!
It may not be their Instructor's fault but there are always people with issues who feel an urge to prove themselves. And this is what gives Martial Arts a bad name but sadly most clubs can not afford to turn people away.
I know of some that are very selective who they teach and these are the most traditional of styles. Because I was interested in another style to learn. It was another Kung Fu style which really interested me but it would been a long drive. I emailed the club, having filled out their form and I did say I already practice another style. And it was for this reason I was not allowed to come and even watch. Fair enough as they are trying to teach serious students who won't take away their secrets and misuse them, but I have to say I was very dissapointed that I wasn't accepted but I understand and admire their ethics.
Even though I never tell anyone I practice a Martial Art, someone may by accident catch me practicing in private and make a comment. So embarrassing as one time when working somewhere I was practicing my kicks and the guy who was showing me the ropes came just as I was doing it. He made some comment and I told him I practiced Kung Fu but he seemed very ignorant about Kung Fu, although he had studied Karate. Its so embarrassing when someone catches you practicing your skills but unfortunately I can't keep still. Better I suppose it be the workplace then in a park with a lot of punks.

 

[AdrenalineJunky]

Hey, I personally am for "Equal Rights for Women"

That... "Im a girl, I can be a raving b---- and no one can do anything" crap doesnt work with me.

I was out with a girl once who tried that crap assuming I would take care of her... she made the guy she mouthed off to mad, he started on me, and I looked at him and said, "Hey man, I'm with you, she's a <explative deleted> nutcase..." and I told her flat out in front of him, "You better shut up before he kicks you in your <explative deleted>" Needless to say she shut up, he left, she started in on me, and I left. Never saw her again. But the point was, I wasnt gonna fight some dude for her, just because she had NO manners or self control. If she had been RIGHT maybe I would have felt differently, but in that case I certainly did not.

Oh yeah, I'm totally with you on this one, I don't put up with that stuff. It's just the hitting thing. Like, if I see a guy roughing up a girl, my first inclination is to stop and give my best go at kicking the poo out of the jerk. Just to give you an idea of how strong the urge is: I know it's stupid to get involved, but will still walk toward the situation; someone usually has to convince me not to get involved and to call the cops, instead. Same thing if I saw a Dad/Mom or some random guy beating the ***** out of a kid.

You know, come to think of it, maybe it has less to do with gender, and more to do with the exploitation of a weaker person "just because you can." I used to get the crap beat out of me in high school because I'd see the jock/bully types picking on some kid. So I'd say something about it, which usually resulted in me sharing the fate of the kid they were picking on, but this is just how I was raised.

I have no problem telling a female who's got an attitude problem just where to go and how to get there, but it would take quite a bit before I got mad enough to become violent with her.

AJ

 

[Rich Parsons]

All you guys who say a challenge match is a no win situation are dead wrong.

There've been challengers at my school before.

Now if my teacher accepted the challenge and won, I wouldn't suddenly think of him as a violent, out of control person. All he did was give the guy what he came in and SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR. This has happened before.

If he accepted and lost I would still respect him a LOT more than if he'd declined for fear of losing. At least he stepped up!

True to a point he did step up.

Yet, I have been through the court system before and do not like it. Therefore I limit the possibilitites. So I had three choices, decline out right, give him what he wanted and take my chances, or offer him a chance to fight anyways, with no witnesses, where my word, as an Engineer (* Yes perception in court is very important this is why even the bad guys wear expensive suits *), I can state he came in to spar, then show the other students as witnesses to this actions. Then state that they all left and he staid to spar. As to a no win situation this might be true for you yet, not forever one, some may have thought why would violence be required? Also a level of control, could his first shot not be damaging to me? Why risk serious injury, therefore, as he jsut wants to go for it, no rules, just spar, this is his way out of it if he is losing, by then saying I beat him up. Yet, if he goes all out then he can take a shot at me and not worry about it. Personally I ahve no problems with a challenge. If it is to spar then fine everyone must unerstand the rules. If it is to fight or spar full contact then everyone needs to understand that I will do what it takes, to not get hurt, and that usually means hurting them. Just my experience of bouncing for years, and dealing with police and DA's. So it was not the conflict of the other person, it was the conflict of me. If I hurt him, then I lose in my mind. Over what, his ego? I have seen this before, and sent people to the hospital over this little thing called ego.

I have been challenged in less obvious ways also. A person joins for the couple of free classes or a month, and then they start asking what if or what about this? I like the questions. Some people have to then do their dance and execute their previous technique to see if it works against mine. I smile, for usually these guys (* Hmmmm, it has never been a women, I wonder why? *) are not willing to hurt people, just willing to either show off their previous training, which can be good, or to show that they are better than you without risking getting hurt in return. I usually show them the errors of their ways by either countering or beating their timing and placing a fist near their face, so it is obvious they would have been hit. NOTE: You notice I have had a much better chance of reading this person and or seeing them move and engaging their intent. The person how just walks off the street, one has to assume his intent is the worst until proven otherwise, when in a challenge situation.


So, for you and your instructor, I agree it would not have been an issue. Yet, for some students and for some instructors, it is an issue.

No disrespect meant, just explaining.
:asian:

 

[Rich Parsons]

Rich - awesome response - i've had this happen in the past, but did not handle it anywhere near as simply or admirably as you did. With your permission, i'd like to remember and use it in future. :asian:

Cheers

Bao

I do not think I was the first to come up with a solution like this. Therefore, I have no real claim on the result.

Anyone may use it at there will, jsut remember that someone may call you and want to spar in private, and like I Said, this is ok as it limits the issues with the court system.


:asian:

 

[AdrenalineJunky]

True to a point he did step up.

Yet, I have been through the court system before and do not like it. Therefore I limit the possibilitites. So I had three choices, decline out right, give him what he wanted and take my chances, or offer him a chance to fight anyways, with no witnesses, where my word, as an Engineer (* Yes perception in court is very important this is why even the bad guys wear expensive suits *), I can state he came in to spar, then show the other students as witnesses to this actions. Then state that they all left and he staid to spar. As to a no win situation this might be true for you yet, not forever one, some may have thought why would violence be required? Also a level of control, could his first shot not be damaging to me? Why risk serious injury, therefore, as he jsut wants to go for it, no rules, just spar, this is his way out of it if he is losing, by then saying I beat him up. Yet, if he goes all out then he can take a shot at me and not worry about it. Personally I ahve no problems with a challenge. If it is to spar then fine everyone must unerstand the rules. If it is to fight or spar full contact then everyone needs to understand that I will do what it takes, to not get hurt, and that usually means hurting them. Just my experience of bouncing for years, and dealing with police and DA's. So it was not the conflict of the other person, it was the conflict of me. If I hurt him, then I lose in my mind. Over what, his ego? I have seen this before, and sent people to the hospital over this little thing called ego.

I have been challenged in less obvious ways also. A person joins for the couple of free classes or a month, and then they start asking what if or what about this? I like the questions. Some people have to then do their dance and execute their previous technique to see if it works against mine. I smile, for usually these guys (* Hmmmm, it has never been a women, I wonder why? *) are not willing to hurt people, just willing to either show off their previous training, which can be good, or to show that they are better than you without risking getting hurt in return. I usually show them the errors of their ways by either countering or beating their timing and placing a fist near their face, so it is obvious they would have been hit. NOTE: You notice I have had a much better chance of reading this person and or seeing them move and engaging their intent. The person how just walks off the street, one has to assume his intent is the worst until proven otherwise, when in a challenge situation.


So, for you and your instructor, I agree it would not have been an issue. Yet, for some students and for some instructors, it is an issue.

No disrespect meant, just explaining.
:asian:

Nice post. I can say that being a bouncer has changed me quite a bit. The perception of danger, in most cases, is far worse than actual danger. This is why many cops/bouncers and various security personnel are misunderstood. For example: I'm down with my knee in a guy's back, trying to kuff him. The bouncer who's is supposed to watch my back. . .isn't. I feel my mag-light slip out of my side pocket, and some azzhole puts some half-azz one-handed choke hold on me from behind, trying to pull me off [his friend?]. I turn around, shaking the choke hold, see the guy's got my mag, and immediately pumped an elbow straight into his face. Laid him out. It all happed in literally two blinks. The cops show up and (luckily the two on duty had taught several of my ADJ classes, so I knew them well) and the guy starts trying to get me arrested, saying I broke his nose--it didn't look broken to me, but, hey, I'm not a doctor. To make a long story short, the cops told the guy to stuff it and leave before they arrested him. I mean what did he expect me to do, turn around a politely ask for my mag back? Sorry, the point: If I get scared, you're getting dropped, that's my mind set. If you put me in a dangerous situation you better be a fighter of equal or higher caliber, because my first three or four strikes will be meant to end it. No rules in real life.

AJ

 

[Rich Parsons]

Hey AdrenalineJunky,

I never did drugs, yet the worse chemical I found to be addicted too, was Adrenaline , I assume you have had a similiar experience

 

[AdrenalineJunky]

Hey AdrenalineJunky,

I never did drugs, yet the worse chemical I found to be addicted too, was Adrenaline , I assume you have had a similiar experience

You could say that. That is partially why I decided not to become a cop. One, I think I would be too wreckless; and, two, I have a sick sense of humor, and would proly end up being like those cops in "Super Troopers". So, I'm going for a law degree--and hopefully a teaching cert. from Fairtex--instead. But it is amazing how placing yourself in somewhat dangerous situations can make you so prone to overreact, and how, in some odd way, it makes you more humble.

AJ

 

[Rich Parsons]

You could say that. That is partially why I decided not to become a cop. One, I think I would be too wreckless; and, two, I have a sick sense of humor, and would proly end up being like those cops in "Super Troopers". So, I'm going for a law degree--and hopefully a teaching cert. from Fairtex--instead. But it is amazing how placing yourself in somewhat dangerous situations can make you so prone to overreact, and how, in some odd way, it makes you more humble.

AJ

Humble

Yes, you realize what can happen, and that you are here today by luck in many cases . Yes, humble is a good word.


:asian:

 

[AdrenalineJunky]

Humble

Yes, you realize what can happen, and that you are hear today by luck in many cases . Yes, humble is a good word.


:asian:

Well, it's just like the challenge in the dojo. When I was young (I'm 25 now, so I guess I'm still young) I realized what my skills meant: that I could mess somebody up real bad, real quick. Cool, I thought, and having a bad temper, I used those skills. I think the disipline aspect of Muay Thai is different than many other traditional arts. You're disiplined in training to beat the poo out of your opponents, but there is very little "spiritual" disipline, if that makes sense. So you take a pissed off kid like me, train him for two years on how to kick the crap out of sombody, and that's exactly what you get. It wasn't 'till I started bouncing, that I had to learn control. I thought bouncing was going to be getting paid to beat people up. . .exactly the opposite.

You were quite right to do what you did in response to that challenge. In fact, as a student, I would have more respect for you, because you would have demonstrated your trust in ME, by knowing that I would not lose my respect for you as a teacher. Your students must be lucky to have you as a teacher.

AJ