A serious question about Martial Arts and sex appeal.
- Thread starter Bee Brian
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Bee Brian
Blue Belt
Okay......what’s your point?
That's my character in Final Fantasy 14. His name is Chad Thundermember and he is my artwork.
I'm an influential man in that game. Wanna see a YouTube video of me delivering a seminar that teaches people how to be great? I have it in my YouTube channel.
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Bee Brian
Blue Belt
That I have a hobby outside of women, squats, and reading books.
Unlike certain people who have the singular focus of learning tricks to defeat more honest fighters instead of building real strength.
Great you play a video game so what? Oh you back to this cheater nonsense are you?
Steve
Mostly Harmless
Look, man. I think you have some squirrelly ideas about men and women, gender, sexuality, and just how people interrelate. You're using your own limited experience and confirmation bias to take you further down a path that, frankly, is completely divorced from reality. I find your opinions about women and men to be incredibly reductive.
I don't have the skill or background to talk you through all of this, so I'll just say that I hope you do talk to someone. I think this is bigger than men, women, sexuality, and relationships, and I don't know if you'll ever be happy (single or not) without some external intervention. I hope you get it.
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Bee Brian
Blue Belt
Thank you for your concern for me. Don't worry, I'm in fine condition.
Steve
Mostly Harmless
I hope so.
_Simon_
Senior Master
Just wanted to say hi Tez, hoping you're well! And you are gonna looooove this chap XD
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Bee Brian
Blue Belt
_Simon_
Senior Master
Like Steve said earlier, I truly, truly hope you get the help you need. This is not an attack on you by any means, so there's no need to defend yourself or 'prop' yourself up constantly. But those insecurities will simply not go away until you start being brutally honest with yourself. Squat numbers will not help it. Even dominating other males with 'alpha-maleness' or in fighting will only further repress and reinforce your insecurities. I also used weightlifting and more specifically bodybuilding as a way of what I thought would get rid of those feelings of insecurity. They made it worse, much worse. It's great to be passionate about weightlifting, but when you tie your identity to it so rigidly you experience what you've already shared with us, that deep distress/pain when something might affect your squat numbers.
Nothing external will help that insecurity, but how you perceive yourself, the world, others, and ultimately what beliefs you are clinging onto will determine how you experience reality.
I wish you luck brother, but seriously, I would listen to some of these responses people have put forward to you, and really self reflect.
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Bee Brian
Blue Belt
You're silly.
In the lyrics of the Disney Hercules song, it says that "A hero's strength is measured by his heart." Now, of course he didn't mean the Floyd May-feather-fist, Diaz brothers useless kind of cardio heart, but more like strength of spirit.
True identity comes from your soul, your spirit. Buddhists call it "sem". Our bodies are tools for our soul. Me... I have no insecurities because my soul can conquer everything. I (my soul) have been through a lot. You're only assuming I'm insecure because you don't understand me. But yeah, I'm an alpha male. It's the way I am. No bragging, just being sincere.
I've been homeless several times in my life, got bullied by kids who used me as a punching bag simply because I had natural muscle mass and they wanted to prove they can beat a Goliath, and my mom's ex boyfriend taught his nephews and nieces sophisticated ways to mentally torture me when I was in the first year of being in the States from the Philippines at age thirteen, taking advantage of the fact that I had no awareness of how to socialize. There was a time in my youth when I literally got beat up by a larger kid for LUNCH MONEY. Those experiences toughen you up, and eventually you start seeing the world at a different light. I will say it again, I am a philosopher. That's my purpose here on earth. And despite all that baggage, I still got laid many times. That's the kind of fighter I am. No martial art can match my Machiavellian instinct.
Do you wanna know my heart's deepest desire? To find a beautiful woman and marry her. NOT because I want companionship, but because I need her pretty-girl genes to produce me a son who will succeed where I failed at. The only thing I hope is that my son will forgive me for giving him such a hard burden to bear. I grew up without a father when all I've ever wanted was guidance. Instead, I was forced to learn about life my own way, taking hints from historians about what they knew about Napoleon, a man I wished to have tutored me about life. It was tough, but it's all a part of Destiny's plan for me.
I come off as arrogant because the more I talk to martial artists of any style, the more I realize how 95% of them are truly moronic with weight training. I wanna change that and show the world that there is a way to mass produce Vitor Belforts instead of letting another Floyd May-feather-fist become a champion "athlete" who can only bench press 185 pounds for five reps... That's what I could lift when I was 17 years old... For TWICE THE REPS.
I speak from the heart.
_Simon_
Senior Master
... that's really unfortunate you've missed what I said.
All well and good to conceptually say your soul is the identity, you don't seem to reflect that in your energy and understanding at all. I again suggest you read back on your posts, as though you were an outsider and see it from the outside.
And also, all well and good to say that those experiences made you stronger, I'm not questioning whether they did or not, but that sort of stuff usually still impacts people on deep levels, are often repressed and denied, in favour of 'appearing strong' to others. Sound familiar? They can't not have some sort of a traumatic effect. Even your constant reference to having been laid... why would that association matter at all, or have any significance? Do you feel that's some sort of marker of value as a person?
You're too busy defending yourself to even consider what people here say.
And now you want to have a son, PURELY to project your perceived shortcomings into them, secretly trying to resolve your 'stuff' through another person. I don't recommend that at all, but do as you wish.
Again I sincerely wish you well.
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Bee Brian
Blue Belt
Thanks.
My son will be the greatest man to ever walk the earth.
Of course, if I end up with a daughter, I'd let my wife take charge of parenting. lol. That's the deal.
Also, who you sleep with and how many is bragging rights. Is everybody in this forum a goody-two-shoes or something? Dear lord... Even thirteen year old boys are less innocent than all of you.
Highlander
Green Belt
It's not bragging rights at all. Its just part of life. I mean don't get me wrong its awesome, and definitely worth a crisp high-five from a friend. But strangers online? Everyone here has had sex man. Im willing to bet alot of people lost their virginity waaay before 20. You say your soul defines you but it doesn't. You are so clearly caught up in image and social status its palpable through the internet. Im sorry you've had such a hard way to go. But those situations can make you stronger and a better person.
Hard times, weight lifting, MA... these things don't build character, they reveal it. You say you're a philosopher first and foremost. I suggest you contemplate the meaning happiness a little closer (hint: most monks and truly happy spiritual people are all caught up in social status)
Also think about:
-your mortality, not what happens after death but happens here after you're gone. What do you want to leave behind ? A broken kid with a huge burden of being perfect?
-The ego, what is this?
-what makes someone ignorant
-what would the world look like through someone else's eyes
Truly think on these. All of these topics can be months and months of thoughts. But I'm sure you'll have a response in a few hours.
Few more points. Alpha males, normally don't going around talking about how alpha they are.
5.6 doesn't make you a giant.
And ignorance doesn't make you seem confident.
You have people here wasting time trying to help you and you're blowing them off. These people are so much further on their journey. Think about how wrong you discovered you were about boxing. You really think you're not capable of being wrong about anything else? I imagine you're getting dangerously close to people writing you off on this forum. You're going to lose access to a whole wealth of knowledge because you're "so alpha, and perfect" you're not the only person in the know. And even if you were, the top of the mountain is a very lonely place. For fu**s sake, empty your cup
It's fine I like men done medium rare when I'm roasting them.
Alpha male just means you are a beginner, as in you are still on A.
drop bear
Sr. Grandmaster
It is called mechanical advantage. It is also a trick power lifters use.
My dear boy, you are seriously deluded or you are 13 years old. Anyone male that has to tell people he's a stud muffin really isnt. Any male that has to tell people he's the best really isn't. Nothing puts women off than braggadacio and downright lies. You, my pet, are a rather sad specimen of the genus 'teenage boy sat at computer typing with one hand'
'Savage lust' what you actually inspire in women is the need to give you a glass of milk and pack you off back to nanny until you grow up.
In my life I have met with and worked with some amazing men, none of who spoke about themselves the way you do. Men who were as tough as they come, yet didn't feel the need to boast. Men you perhaps could live up to one day but not now, not with your appalling misogyny, you really don't like women if that's how you think of us. In fact everything you have said about women is insulting actually but you do know that already.
If you think philosophy is why you were born you need lessons in biology btw.
KenpoMaster805
2nd Black Belt
Bro all you need is shower put 3 times shampoo and 3 times soap on your body put gell on your hair tooth brush make sure your gi is spiffy and you will look good thats what you call sex appeal while you do martial thats what i do
Graywalker
Brown Belt
Really, it seems as if everyone who is commenting, are full of themselves. IMO
