I know this is uncool for me to say but...

[14 Kempo]

I believe it is totally cool as well. Good for you and keep it up!

Although I never considered myself an alcoholic perse, I gave up drinking as I knew it some 24 years ago. I will have an occasional beer with the boys, but that's it.

Glad to hear you have been strong, I know it can be tough at times.

 

[KempoGuy06]

I quit drinking.

I have 41 months sobriety (yeah I still count the months,lol). Having made this unpopular statement, I can tell you that I'm very fearful that I won't be able to make it 42 months. I don't go to AA because I found the meetings to be a little depressing and all the talk about the good ole drinking days just makes me want to drink. Maybe I didn't give it a fair trial, as I only went to 2 meetings. So far my strength has come from my non drinking friends and training partners and family. God knows my family wants me to succeed at this.

So I've got an upcoming trip to Vegas and I'll be hanging with alot of drinkers. To me Vegas has always been about drinking. My last trip to Vegas (a little over a year ago) I came close. While at the JET nightclub someone handed me a glass of wine and I went so far as to put the glass to my lips before a friend of mine (a drinking friend no less) asked me what the hell I'm doing.

Anyways, I'm not expecting any magical answers here, I think I just needed to say some things for my benefit. Sometimes we have to fight the battle alone if you know what I mean.

im 24 years old and I developed a drinking problem at 18 while i was in high school. It took putting my car in a ditch to realize i was on the wrong path. after hard fought battle i managed to control my problem and now I can drink when i want to but i dont really like it all that much anymore. Its expensive and unhealthy.

good luck to you man and Im glad you have made it thus far

B

 

[DavidCC]

There are probably a dozen AA groups with a short drive of your home. If you would benefit from a support group you should try some of the other meetings, from what I hear they can be as different as night and day.

 

[bluekey88]

Brother, you're doing the right thing. You ARE strong enough to get through this . And....God forbid, you slip...you have a drink. Y'know what? You get back on the wagon and get yourself sober again. I guess what I'm saying is that slipping up does not make you a failure.

I say this as one who has been sober for 204 months. I used to not be a happy or a mean drunk, butrather a wake up in someone else's clothes with my car keys jammed up my ### drunk. I had to make some pretty significant lifestyle choices. It's still one day at a time. Some days I'm tempted, most days I'm not. You can do this....you're stronger than you think (to make it almost 4 years is pretty incredible). We here at MT hve your back!

Peace,
Erik

 

[Tames D]

Brother, you're doing the right thing. You ARE strong enough to get through this . And....God forbid, you slip...you have a drink. Y'know what? You get back on the wagon and get yourself sober again. I guess what I'm saying is that slipping up does not make you a failure.

I say this as one who has been sober for 204 months. I used to not be a happy or a mean drunk, butrather a wake up in someone else's clothes with my car keys jammed up my ### drunk. I had to make some pretty significant lifestyle choices. It's still one day at a time. Some days I'm tempted, most days I'm not. You can do this....you're stronger than you think (to make it almost 4 years is pretty incredible). We here at MT hve your back!

Peace,
Erik

Luckily I've never been a rowdy drinker, just loved to have a good time. Have you ever tried fighting while wearing a lampshade on your head? It's difficult and looks ridiculous...

 

[Rich Parsons]

I quit drinking.

I have 41 months sobriety (yeah I still count the months,lol). Having made this unpopular statement, I can tell you that I'm very fearful that I won't be able to make it 42 months. I don't go to AA because I found the meetings to be a little depressing and all the talk about the good ole drinking days just makes me want to drink. Maybe I didn't give it a fair trial, as I only went to 2 meetings. So far my strength has come from my non drinking friends and training partners and family. God knows my family wants me to succeed at this.

So I've got an upcoming trip to Vegas and I'll be hanging with alot of drinkers. To me Vegas has always been about drinking. My last trip to Vegas (a little over a year ago) I came close. While at the JET nightclub someone handed me a glass of wine and I went so far as to put the glass to my lips before a friend of mine (a drinking friend no less) asked me what the hell I'm doing.

Anyways, I'm not expecting any magical answers here, I think I just needed to say some things for my benefit. Sometimes we have to fight the battle alone if you know what I mean.

If you have a specific server step aside with him or her and give them a tip up front. Ask them that if anyone buys you a drink to say no. If it would make too much of a scene to just bring you coke or seven up.

It might help for many people will go out of their way to help people if they know.


Good Luck

 

[exile]

Tim, my sense of people is that if they understand that you'd just as soon not have anything alcoholic to drink, for reasons that are good and sufficient to you, they'll wholeheartedly support you and try to facilitate that—the decent ones will, anyway, and in spite of my cynicism, I actually believe that most people really are decent and want to do the right thing, because they hope that if the situation were reversed, people would be trying to do the right thing for them. I think Rich is right about this: if a few people know that you really, really want to avoid drinking anything alcoholic, they'll try to see that your wishes are respected.

A lot has changed during the past half century or so. Once upon a time, it was considered anti-social if you didn't want to go 'drinking with the boys', just as it was considered manly to smoke and vaguely sissyish not to, especially if you were a young male. These days, that attitude is almost literally a museum piece. In the same way, I think people have a lot more understanding of the position of the man or woman who's not against other people drinking but doesn't want to do that himself or herself. The trick, as several people have already touched on, is to make sure that people know in advance that you're there to have fun, but fun for you doesn't include anything over 0%. Just a word in the ear of a few people in your group should be more than enough, I'd bet.

 

[MA-Caver]

This month I celebrated my 20th year being sober (and clean). Personally... I don't see a DAMN thing UNCOOL about quitting drinking. But that's just me.
If you're quitting because you WANT to quit, and because you KNOW you got a problem and KNOW that if you don't stop you're gonna die or hurt someone you love then I applaud you and you have my support whenever you need it. You can PM me any time with questions or whatever. I've got AOL/IM and will be happy to chat with you on that for as long as you wish.
If you're quitting for the sake of quitting well... good luck to you, sincerely.

I've been there (still there) and I know. True, that it took my first 90 days of sobriety to really realize that I really was an alcoholic and had a problem with it... 90 days to clear that crap out of my system entirely and attending AA meetings twice (sometimes 3 times a day) for 90 days to fully get it through this thick skull of mine that I was going to die within a few years if I didn't stop.
Now 20 years later the best thing in my life at the moment is that I haven't drank again or taken a drug for recreational purposes. Hell, I rarely take a prescription drug and if it's a pain killer (which I've had to take from time to time on various injuries sustained) I tell the doctor to make sure it's non-narcotic... non-opiate based.

Some people I associate with still drink and I'm okay with that because they're not getting plastered nor reeking with it. They have one or two beers and behave themselves which is alright with me. I can see they don't have a problem with it so I don't have a problem with them. I've disassociated myself from those who drink for the sake of getting drunk and my life is the better for it, IMO. I don't care if someone doesn't like it that I don't drink... they're not me and they don't have my problem... if they really are my friends then they'll respect my decision. Same for you, same for anyone who takes this step in their lives and now walk a different path.

You've set yourself on a path and I truly believe that you're a better person for making that decision. Your family will thank you for it and you'll find your real friends will respect you for it.
You've always had my respect as a member of this board, a fellow MA-ist and as a human being, it's now grown to two-fold.
If I can help out lemme know.
:asian:

 

[Tames D]

Hey, thanks everyone for all the great advice and well wishes. We're leaving later tonight and should be checking in after midnight (this might be getting off to a bad start, lol). We're back on Wednesday.

I'm feeling good. We'll see how it go's...

 

[exile]

Hey, thanks everyone for all the great advice and well wishes. We're leaving later tonight and should be checking in after midnight (this might be getting off to a bad start, lol). We're back on Wednesday.

I'm feeling good. We'll see how it go's...

Let us know how it goes, Tim. We haven't forgotten about your tricky situation. There are a lot of people thinking of you and wishing you well.

 

[qwksilver61]

Qui-Gon,The toughest thing I have ever had to do........by far,almost a religious experience.The temptation to drink is...every day.I hear you on that AA thing,pardon me for everyone who partakes...but they almost never wanted to hear my side...almost cold and indifferent.
I started drinking in my teens,I love to be around people,still do.Giving up the drink...I had to re-think....friends.....places to hang out and different things to do without making excuses to have another.Consequences; lose my, marriage,dui,work,health etc.The law is making it harder to get away with,no tolerance policy,as soon as an accident occurs..automatic blood test for controlled substance.....It would be easy to go back and stay there,but the reality of it scares me,and you know what? some of those people that I used to see...have health issues,are locked up,or are no longer living breathing souls.Also when you are sober you can see the illusion of a good time when you are on the outside looking in,now I enjoy everything.....in real time.God bless...press forward and never look back.

 

[Rich Parsons]

Hey, thanks everyone for all the great advice and well wishes. We're leaving later tonight and should be checking in after midnight (this might be getting off to a bad start, lol). We're back on Wednesday.

I'm feeling good. We'll see how it go's...

Let us know how it goes, Tim. We haven't forgotten about your tricky situation. There are a lot of people thinking of you and wishing you well.

Yes Good Luck and keep us posted or updated when you get back.

 

[kidswarrior]

Not much to add, Bro. Your time sober is substantial, but it's always a day at a time, huh? I've got nine years now, but that doesn't mean a hill of beans if I start again tomorrow. So it's a precious thing, hard to earn, easy to let go of.

I understand the pros and cons of AA. Don't have any answers. Some meetings I found better than others, tho. I had to do some 'shopping.'

All I can say is at first I thought the AA old timers (my first mentors in sobriety) were being dramatic when they'd say stuff like, If I drink I'll die. Now in late middle age, finally get it. It's no laughing matter.

 

[bluekey88]

not much to add, bro. Your time sober is substantial, but it's always a day at a time, huh? I've got nine years now, but that doesn't mean a hill of beans if i start again tomorrow. So it's a precious thing, hard to earn, easy to let go of.

I understand the pros and cons of aa. Don't have any answers. Some meetings i found better than others, tho. I had to do some 'shopping.'

all i can say is at first i thought the aa old timers (my first mentors in sobriety) were being dramatic when they'd say stuff like, if i drink i'll die. Now in late middle age, finally get it. It's no laughing matter.

qft

 

[Dao]

I don't drink I don't need to drink to have a good time. It's bloody expensive in Canada. I've seen alcohol done more harm than good especially drinking and driving, many people do it often. One of my old friend actually drinks a beer from a can while he's driving. Just nuts.

 

[MA-Caver]

I had a t-shirt long time ago (when I was drinking)... said:
I don't have a drinking problem...
I drink
I get drunk
I fall down
... no problem!

 

[Tames D]

Almost forgot about this thread. I should give it some closure by letting you know how it went.

Had a great time and everything went smooth. I was never offered a drink in any of the clubs/restaurants we were in by anyone including the waiters. Hmmm, I wonder if someone made arrangements for this, no one said and I didn't ask

. Obviously I have some good people in my life that care about me and my wellbeing.

Never really thought about drinking on this trip, just kinda focused on the good times. I may have reached a stage where most of the desire to drink is gone? Yeah right...

All in all it was a great trip with some good friends. No problems, no trouble. A special thanks to all of you who supported me with your words.

One more thing: I have to say that I regret starting this thread. I'm a little embarrassed now that I went public with this. It probably should have been kept private. But the responses I got gave me strength and I'll never reget that.

 

[Nolerama]

I'm glad the trip went well, Qui-Gon.

When I quit smoking, I told everyone that I was doing so. I'm a nicotine addict, and cigarettes were my drug. I told them that I was afraid that smoking would kill me so I needed to stop.

So I quit cold turkey and asked my smoking friends to never give me a cigarette, even if I ask.

The biggest part about it is that I had to make it known among my circle of friends. Voicing my addiction fueled my drive to remove myself from smoking. It gave legitimacy to what many smokers attempt in passing.

So don't feel embarrassed. Be happy that the people around you care about you, and your wishes.

 

[exile]

All in all it was a great trip with some good friends. No problems, no trouble.

That's brilliant, QG. I had the feeling it was going to be fine. Your own strength of will and character made that by far the most likely outcome.

One more thing: I have to say that I regret starting this thread. I'm a little embarrassed now that I went public with this. It probably should have been kept private. But the responses I got gave me strength and I'll never reget that.

No—don't be embarrassed for doing something that, in a sense, was part of your own plan to stick to your program. When someone makes a public declaration of intentions, which is what your OP was, as I read it, it's almost always a tactic for ensuring that they're going to carry through—a public commitment, after all, mobilizes the judgment of the community, eh? And for a lot of people, that's a key element in sticking to a certain course of action: you've promised, in effect, so you better come through. It's a very good kind of move, and it probably contributed here to your success. Nothing to feel embarrassed about in the least, amigo.

 

[Rich Parsons]

Almost forgot about this thread. I should give it some closure by letting you know how it went.

Had a great time and everything went smooth. I was never offered a drink in any of the clubs/restaurants we were in by anyone including the waiters. Hmmm, I wonder if someone made arrangements for this, no one said and I didn't ask

. Obviously I have some good people in my life that care about me and my wellbeing.

Never really thought about drinking on this trip, just kinda focused on the good times. I may have reached a stage where most of the desire to drink is gone? Yeah right...

All in all it was a great trip with some good friends. No problems, no trouble. A special thanks to all of you who supported me with your words.

One more thing: I have to say that I regret starting this thread. I'm a little embarrassed now that I went public with this. It probably should have been kept private. But the responses I got gave me strength and I'll never reget that.

Embarrassed. I understand. But to let you know if you want to see embarrassment, check out the threads about me for quotes and then the one with the pictures.


Seriously, I do understand your points and wish you the best and I am glad that the site could offer some help.

It is even greater that you had the experience you did. You do have people looking out for you, not just others, but yourself. Keep up thehard and good work. :asian: