How do I get aggressive?

[Cirdan]

there are also many types of aggression(hate,fear,desperation) and many ways how it is expressed.

hmm no that would be anger, not aggression

 

[Shaderon]

In Psychology studies it has been found that aggression is a thing that you are born with, it's an inbuilt thing which is determined by your genetics and very early childhood. BUT, it is influenced by your environment and your self will to increase or decrease it. It's difficult to change the early conditioning, but it's possible and with work it can be done.

So the techniques for increasing it can be done but my question is why do you want to do it? If you increase your agression it can be a hard thing to tame, people who are born with a high level of aggression learn over the years how to control it and keep it under wraps.... (or don't) but if you learn aggression then it can be harder and it can rear it's ugly head when you least expect it... e.g. have you heard of revved up ring fighters hitting thier spouses?

My opinion is, don't increase your aggression, just increase your knowledge and ability of your techniques and become an ice cold fighter. No one knows what to expect from that sort and they can't be ruffled. You don't need to increase aggression, just confidence.

 

[Kacey]

My opinion is, don't increase your aggression, just increase your knowledge and ability of your techniques and become an ice cold fighter. No one knows what to expect from that sort and they can't be ruffled. You don't need to increase aggression, just confidence.

I agree with Shaderon - especially the part I bolded. It's much harder to be aggressive - in an MA environment or out of it - when you are using skills you are not sure of; improving your skills, in all of the ways discussed throughout this thread, is the best way to improve your confidence, which will, in turn, improve your willingness to use those skills, and to take the risk of trying new skills in a high-risk situation.

 

[kidswarrior]

This point is maybe the most important of all. A lot of times relentlessness will defeat your opponent where cleverness and elegant technique get nowhere. You're not just targetting your opponents' limbs, but their minds as well---that's often where the match is won or lost.

Yes, this is why many savvy street fighters in my area often believe they can prevail over martial artists (not my guys--they don't fight on the street anymore :ultracool). And too often they're right.

 

[kidswarrior]

I agree with Shaderon - especially the part I bolded. It's much harder to be aggressive - in an MA environment or out of it - when you are using skills you are not sure of; improving your skills, in all of the ways discussed throughout this thread, is the best way to improve your confidence, which will, in turn, improve your willingness to use those skills, and to take the risk of trying new skills in a high-risk situation.

Can I jump on the band wagon and agree with both Shads and Kacey?

 

[Em MacIntosh]

When we were kids a lot of our kiais sounded like peeps. It takes some of us a lot of practice to kiai. You just weren't allowed to be shy or they pick on you until you lose your shyness. This worked for the kids but I wonder if it would work for adults. It might be worth considering.

 

[RITFencing]

This isn't an aggression thing, but rather a confidence one, but I find that it works well. When I have students, especially kids, they're not allowed to be quiet when I ask them something. They're not allowed to whisper the answer, they can't just not or shake their head, they have to tell me in a clear voice. They're also not allowed to sit down unless specifically told to, keep their hands out of their pockets, etc. We also don't tolerate passive aggressive behavior in any form, even the little things like eye rolls. I also make sure to ask them questions about what we are doing, and make sure any questions they have for me are loud enough for everyone to hear. It may sound nitpicky at first, especially to the student who just nodded their head, was told that they have to say the word "yes," then mumbles it, and was told they have to say it louder, but small changes lead to big ones (by the way, I highly recommend a book called The Tipping Point, by Malcolm Gladwell) and these help force the kids to be active and involved in what the class is doing, and pretty soon they become second nature and the kids are having fun and being much, much more confident in the class. A tiny bit of discipline goes a long way.

 

[Hand Sword]

This isn't an aggression thing, but rather a confidence one, but I find that it works well. When I have students, especially kids, they're not allowed to be quiet when I ask them something. They're not allowed to whisper the answer, they can't just not or shake their head, they have to tell me in a clear voice. They're also not allowed to sit down unless specifically told to, keep their hands out of their pockets, etc. We also don't tolerate passive aggressive behavior in any form, even the little things like eye rolls. I also make sure to ask them questions about what we are doing, and make sure any questions they have for me are loud enough for everyone to hear. It may sound nitpicky at first, especially to the student who just nodded their head, was told that they have to say the word "yes," then mumbles it, and was told they have to say it louder, but small changes lead to big ones (by the way, I highly recommend a book called The Tipping Point, by Malcolm Gladwell) and these help force the kids to be active and involved in what the class is doing, and pretty soon they become second nature and the kids are having fun and being much, much more confident in the class. A tiny bit of discipline goes a long way.

Now that's aggression. If asked, I wonder what their point of view about this would be?

 

[Ryokeen]

I think this issue has been beaten to death, but I'll offer my spin just because I know this person isn't the only one struggling with this.

I myself have yet to fully allow myself to be aggressive, because when I do, bad things typically happen. Not to say that I'm great or anything, only to say that typically I feel more confident and controlled when I'm sparring someone with less skill then myself... Because I have more confidence in my technique over theres.. Now, what I've begun to realize is that IF someone is hurt, they CHOSE to be in class, and they're accepting the fact that they may aquire bruises, sprains and possibly breaks... It's part of training. And while that seems mean, it's not..

As Jason, my instructor put it, You're doing them a FAVOR by hitting them, so that they learn what they need to work on so that same thing doesn't happen again.

Try to look at it like that.

And if it's a skill worry, don't worry... we were all new, and still are new.
From White Belt to Higher Black belts... We're all still students. We're all still learning. We all still make mistakes.. So don't worry about it.

Good luck.

 

[Hand Sword]

Very good post!

 

[RITFencing]

Now that's aggression. If asked, I wonder what their point of view about this would be?

Since they generally come to me first when they have a problem (like a stomach ache or whatever) and keep laughing during the games I have them play, and always talk to me before and after class, I'd say their viewpoint about this is that it's not so bad.

 

[Hand Sword]

That just means that you are the recognized authority figure. Everyone laughs during gameplay, so that means nothing. I meant asking them at the moment your "corrective actions" are occurring to them (That's what really counts when trying to determine aggression). I think they would disagree with your last posted thought.

 

[RITFencing]

That just means that you are the recognized authority figure. Everyone laughs during gameplay, so that means nothing. I meant asking them at the moment your "corrective actions" are occurring to them (That's what really counts when trying to determine aggression). I think they would disagree with your last posted thought.

No one likes getting corrected, but when it goes something like "Thomas, stand up, please," or "Emily, get back in line, please," or "David and Mike, stop hitting each other, please," they don't seem to have a huge problem. When that doesn't work, it becomes "Thomas, five push ups please, you know you're not supposed to be sitting down," or at the very worst "David and Mike, I told you to stop hitting each other, didn't I? David, please sit in that corner, Mike, please sit in the other corner, I'll tell you both when to come back. Thank you."

The key is to always address them by their names, be calm and polite about it (absolutely never lose your temper), explain very simply what the behavior they need to correct is, and if any punitive steps are taken, remind them that I was being very reasonable about it before.

Sure, they're not happy when they're sitting out or doing push ups, but if they continue to misbehave when asking them to change fails, then they leave me little recourse (and I make sure they know it.) Once their punishment is over, they don't really have a problem with me afterwards.

On the converse, I also make sure to reward good behavior with praise, early water breaks, extra time on games they really like, that sort of thing. I also make sure to tell them WHY they're getting a reward (i.e. "Since you all did that warm up so well, we're going to play an extra round of blob tag!")

This can also work to my advantage in ensuring a good work ethic ("If you guys do a really good job on these relay races, we'll all play red light/green light!")

Does this strike you as overly draconian or authoritarian for dealing with kids from 8-12?

 

[Hand Sword]

You give water breaks? We never got any back in the day. Instead it was enforced to never ask for water it was a sign of weakness.

Seriously though, please relax. I'm not trying to upset you (honestly). It's just that it's hard communicating a point through words on a screen. No you're not being draconian. I never argued that, or disavowed anything you do for training. I agree with all of the methods and reasons given by you and everyone else. What I was trying to highlite is the topic of aggression and how people don't really see it when they think they do. Sometimes I use sarcasm to get it across (I'm a street punk at heart). Being on both ends of aggrression, I like to give to the conversation, and show that aggression is what it is, simple and plain. Anyone can call their actions what they want, and it's not bad (like your teaching) ultimately, but, it still is forced action and the feelings evoked on the other end at the moment it's being done are what they are. That's my only point.

Again I agree with your methods and feel that they are a good thing. It's lacking in this world. I just try to get people to really see both sides of the coin.

I don't drink, so I'll have a Pepsi, but, have a cold one on me! (before dealing with the rugrats-lol)

 

[RITFencing]

Fair enough, cheers.

And yeah, we do give water breaks. In fact, we enforce them. Fencing is a hot, sweaty activity, bodies lose a lot of water doing it, and people of all ages need to replenish that supply. Doing so regularly, before they're even thirsty (if you're thirsty, you are already dehydrated), gets them in that habit. In a large tournament, I personally will drink several gallons of water throughout the day to replace what I lose through sweat.

 

[Hand Sword]

I hear that! I never fenced (though I wanted to try) but the drenching was there for us too. I'm glad the hydration thing is applied now. Being on the other end also at one time, I prefer now a day's look toward it.

 

[RITFencing]

I hear that! I never fenced (though I wanted to try) but the drenching was there for us too. I'm glad the hydration thing is applied now. Being on the other end also at one time, I prefer now a day's look toward it.

Yeah, I've been on the other end of the no water break thing as well; I definitely prefer it this way. Besides, when I let them rest a bit, that means I can work them harder afterwards! *maniacal laughter*

If you'd like, I might be able to find a good club in your area.

 

[SKB]

First thing I beleive you should do is stop seeing the word aggressive as a "BAD" word. You can be aggressive and not turn into a monster!!! Aggression used to the right purpose is a good thing. If you become aggressive then do something 'stupid' or 'lose control' then what you did was lose control and/or did something stupid! At that point you were doing somthing besides being aggressive. Don't think of the feeling as bad it is just one of many humans have. Same as fear, lust, hate, or love. Learn to use it not be fearful of it.

 

[Hand Sword]

No one claimed it was "bad", at least from what I've read. However, From your view you're not a monster because you're benefitting from your aggression in some way. How about on the other end? Such as those on the receiving end of your aggression? If you are aggressive, then you are initiating a forceful action. Someone or something is on the receiving end of that. Monster might be a strong word in general, but, you can be sure the receivers won't be happy with your action of the moment.

 

[Em MacIntosh]

Aggression just means taking the initiative or beeing more likely to do so. To make the first move. To be outgoing. Aggressive people are more likely to talk to you on the street. More likely to complain if there's a problem.