How do you control your aggression?

[malteaser14]

I actually agree with Bill and Cyriacus! Where as most of the time I'm in control and the aggression is kept at bay, there are the odd instances, like the one the promted me to write the OP. My normal thoughts are "how do I stop this safely", making Cyriacus' answer completely fine and justifiable. But the OP was about a situation where I myself did not like my initial response as I was not able to control myself, and that in my books is definately NOT ok! I was hoping for advice on how to control myself, but as Bill (and others) says, I think I need more than a couple of hits and tips and need professional help.

Thanks for responses x

P.S. Cyricas, I'm female! Lol

 

[geezer]

I actually agree with Bill and Cyriacus! Where as most of the time I'm in control and the aggression is kept at bay, there are the odd instances, like the one the promted me to write the OP. My normal thoughts are "how do I stop this safely", making Cyriacus' answer completely fine and justifiable. But the OP was about a situation where I myself did not like my initial response as I was not able to control myself, and that in my books is definately NOT ok! I was hoping for advice on how to control myself, but as Bill (and others) says, I think I need more than a couple of hits and tips and need professional help.

Thanks for responses x

P.S. Cyricas, I'm female! Lol

Good attitude. When I was younger I had some similar issues. I sought out anger management counseling. Some was helpful. Some wasn't. Find what works for you. In my case, maturing has helped too. And I still have moments when I have to struggle to maintain my self-control. Especially when I'm in a situation where its hard to walk away, like when I'm on the job.

Interestingly, once I'm aware that I'm "about to lose it" it's pretty easy to regain my composure. The trick is to be self-aware and watch for warning signs of stress building inside. It's kind of like the pro-active situational awareness cops and security guys learn. You know, spotting trouble before it starts. Except in this case you watch yourself!

 

[Aiki Lee]

Hi I have been training now for just over 12months 3/4 times a week. I've obviously become less aggressive, and most of the time if I feel aggressive I shake it off within a split second, or I have controlled aggression and use it to my advantage, however an argument with someone very close to me had a different conclusion. Basically I had to walk away before I attacked Im glad I walked away, but Im not happy that I couldn't control my own anger/aggression. I know if I hadnt have walked away I could have done some serious damage as I was out for blood. Any hits and tips how to control my own aggression if this ever happened again would be great fully received.

People who are close to us know how to really push our buttons. A lot of people have on issue that's brought up that could infuriate them. i could be about your beliefs, your looks, you worth as a person, whatever. The important thing I would say here is to look at what was done to set you off and if a complete stranger did the same thing would it have had the same effect on you? Why or why not? What is the real source of the percieved insult in this situation?

 

[malteaser14]

People who are close to us know how to really push our buttons. A lot of people have on issue that's brought up that could infuriate them. i could be about your beliefs, your looks, you worth as a person, whatever. The important thing I would say here is to look at what was done to set you off and if a complete stranger did the same thing would it have had the same effect on you? Why or why not? What is the real source of the percieved insult in this situation?

Actually... That is a good point. Without going into depth, there's not many people I let close to me and the last time I had a similar reaction was someone else who was close to me. However, that's not an excuse... Just a good place to start to fix the issue! Thanks

 

[Cyriacus]

I'm not a doctor; I won't even pretend to be an expert. But I have dealt with a lot of personality types in my life, including those with, shall we say, anger management issues.

It's not about feeling anger. Everybody feels anger.

It's not even about choosing a violent response inappropriately. While it's good that a person makes the right choice and does NOT attack someone physically, the fact that they have that conflict internally is disturbing, IMHO. People who have constant internal struggles over whether or not to hit someone are going to eventually make the wrong choice, IMHO. I humbly suggest looking into getting some help before it gets to that point.

I can concur to that.

I actually agree with Bill and Cyriacus! Where as most of the time I'm in control and the aggression is kept at bay, there are the odd instances, like the one the promted me to write the OP. My normal thoughts are "how do I stop this safely", making Cyriacus' answer completely fine and justifiable. But the OP was about a situation where I myself did not like my initial response as I was not able to control myself, and that in my books is definately NOT ok! I was hoping for advice on how to control myself, but as Bill (and others) says, I think I need more than a couple of hits and tips and need professional help.

Thanks for responses x

Ive known two people whove had success with anger management classes - I have no clue how you get into them, but im fairly sure they work. I have no idea of the success ratio of psychiatrists, but im sure they do their jobs. Good luck!

P.S. Cyricas, I'm female! Lol

Ill keep that in mind

 

[Buka]

The same way you get to Carnegie Hall.