We're talking about the pillars of self defense. In context, a pillar is a foundation or key element, without which the structure cannot stand. Self defense, in this context, I would define as being protection oneself from physical assault and violent crime. You can expand it to include emotional/psychological crime, as well, but if we aren't careful as we expand it we'll end up with something that's gone from already pretty darn wide to something that's unworkable.
We also need to put a caveat in place: dealing with violence is really like the old story of the blind men and the elephant. For those unfamiliar with the story – a group of men, blind from birth, are led to an elephant. Each approaches it, and examines what comes in reach. So... one describes it as being like a snake, another a tree trunk, the third like a bridge over his head, and so on, with each describing what they encountered. Do any of them really understand “elephant?” No – only that little bit they came into contact with. Violence and self protection are much the same; I'm familiar with imposing force on people, and protecting myself in one sort of situation as a cop. But it's not the same as Jenna's experience as a woman, or even Tez's experience as a female cop in another country. It's not even the same as ballen's experience, not too far from where I am. My direct knowledge of the subject is limited to my direct experience, which is shaped by who I am (physically and psychologically), my profession, where I live and work, who I associate with, where I grew up, and so on. My mediated knowledge (stuff I've learned from research and reading and talking to others) is wider – but it's not the same as direct experience. (I'm sure I'm not the first to use the blind men and the elephant in this context.)
So... what are the pillars of self defense, in my opinion? Let's start with awareness – actually knowing, realistically, with what's going on around you, and what's likely to happen. This is an active skill, requiring practice and work. From awareness, we can move to avoidance – taking steps to prevent being the victim, including things like not looking like a target or traveling to places where we're likely to be victims, and, being aware of an imminent problem, taking steps before any actual or direct contact is made to prevent it. It might be as simple as taking a different cab than the Uber driver who gives you a sketchy feeling, or crossing the street – or just recognizing that you're a stranger in a strange land, and had best get yourself back to the right side of the tracks, and doing it. Once avoidance is impossible or has failed – we move into conflict management and de-escalation. Can we talk our way out of trouble? If a buy the guy who's girl I just unknowingly hit on a drink – can we avoid the whole Monkey Dance and ensuing fight? What can I do to prevent or avoid violence. (Sometimes, the answer is nothing!) Finally, we get into physical skills. At this point, we need to address things like recovering from an ambush, handling a freeze, and just plain how to deal with the attack. “No one system has a monopoly on truth” – some may be better suited to giving you useful skills rapidly, but all of them have something good to offer. And something bad to avoid... Then, when everything is over and done with – we have to deal with the aftermath, the ramifications and consequences. This ranges from self-care for injuries, to dealing with the cops, and has to include dealing with the mental and emotional fall out of a violent encounter.
Think about it... each of those areas is worth a post – probably a thread! – all it's own.
