Extremely Frustrated

Haven't tested yet. Delayed with the trade show and stuff. But it WILL be soon. It was mentioned again at class on Monday. I'm not looking forward to it for this aspect alone. My techniques, while improved, leave much to be desired. I have completed the required papers though. I'm
*ready* to test...but not ready to test. I HATE TESTING. lol And the worst part is the video camera rolliing, making me more self-conscious than ever. I have to stop "thinking" and just "do". Except I can't, not yet anyway. *sigh*
Well, it's coming, so I'll test, embarrass myself, and hopefully pass by the skin of my teeth.

Something I use to tell people back when I taught

Why worry, if you can do something about it then do it so there is nothing to worry about. If you can't do anything about it then there is no sense in worrying about it so why worry?

Embarrassed, Why? So you test and you don’t pass so what will you stop going to train? Will your sifu kick you out? Will you give up go home and never return? Or will you look at the video see where you need work and work all the harder to get it right next time. Or you test and you pass again why are you going to be embarrassed?

If you test and pass great, if you test and don't pass great. Either way you test and you learn and you are not really trying to impress anyone here you are leaning and if you did not need to learn or had nothing to learn then why are you training with this sifu?

Your sifu has likely tested hundreds and likely wants all to pass but understands that all will not BUT testing is very good at pointing out the areas you need to work on and much easier than how my sifus show me, generally it involves me ending up on the ground thinking "well that hurt" and/or "you know I should probably not do that again". Or the most recent "are you serious or playing" (Sanda)

Also do not think of yourself flunking the test see yourself passing
 
To put it in the words from The Last Samurai you might be suffering a bit from "Too many minds". Instead of minding only your opponent, you are too conscious of others: the evaluator, the camera, the other students and instructors, even yourself (as you said, you are very self-critical).

Also, I wonder about your testing procedure, is the problem in free sparring, set technique demonstration, something other situation?

If it's free sparring, or another spontaneous response situations, you may want to ask yourself if your are pre-determining the technique you want to use? If so, you may be forcing the issue to land a certain technique, instead of taking the opportunities/openings as thy present themselves. If this is the case, you might want to work with fellow students and instructors on recognition of opportunities/openings as well as setting up opponents for certain techniques.

A lot of people I've met have been so focused on performing a given technique, that they force it, or do it when it's not appropriate. These conditions, of course, will result in failure more often than not. Just something else to think about. Try spending time working on setups and positioning, testing out what conditions will yield the best results for a given technique or combination.
 
Studies show that people in general are more afraid of public speaking/performance, than they are of death.

So I'm giving you permission to be worried. So be worried! Do it anyway. Martial arts functions the same whether you are worried or not. In fact, it functions the same whatever your emotional state. "Not being worried" is not on the list of requirements for any test I have ever seen.

The most they can ask for is to fake it. That's easy - it's all in the eyes. Keep your eyes up and straight ahead - focus outwards and not internally. Then be worried as hell! You're not gonna change that. At then you won't have to be worried about being worried!

Your profile says you ride motorcycles. If you're not totally insane they should scare you. That's probably why you ride. (That's why I do!) So . . . other than completely panicking and locking up, when did being scared make you a worse rider? You can be worried and scared on a motorcycle, and it doesn't affect your riding, does it?

So work yourself up -- don't sleep the night before (but do let your body rest -- don't "cram" for the test), annoy your friends and family with over-strung nerves, watch some favorite old movie to distract yourself, even though you won't really watch any of it. (Watch what you eat, though -- no ice cream bings, even if you decide to torture your mind, take care of your body -- that's what will get you through.) Heck, have a panic attack it you feel the need, just do it before the test.

Then, it's over. And you'll be proud of yourself, and you'll think you've got it, and you'll write encouraging messages to people who get nervous before tests, and then you'll come to another test, and you'll panic again. :)

Enjoy the ride!
 
Jade it is Ok to be nervous for one second then just do what you have been doin gand everything will be fine. You have gotten some great advise so I'll just let then speak.Go get em.
 
Well, it's official. I test on the 8th. The sheet was on the board at class last night. Two other students and I will be testing together. We're the same rank. That's only a week away. *sigh*
 
Now that you know the date, forget it, no use getting anxious for a week before your test. You're testing because your instructors know you can pass, they just need to see you perform under pressure. Unfortunately I'll be away for a week starting on the 8th, so I'm just going to congratulate you now . Give 'em hell
 
Well, it's official. I test on the 8th. The sheet was on the board at class last night. Two other students and I will be testing together. We're the same rank. That's only a week away. *sigh*
Let me just say as a matter of encouragement, I HATE TESTS!!! :highfive:

But if one gets in the way of my goal, I will go through it. Not just endure it; but break it into pieces. :rpo: I'm pretty sure you have the same attitude about roadblocks, Pam. Sometimes we just forget how determined we are. ;)
 
Jade, i would like to add something wise to this thread but there's so mutch allready ! ;)
Just be the best you can be ... yourself! :D

Keep us posted ;)
 
I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks for the encouragement. :)
 
Well, I tested today. Was nervous as hell. Didn't do all that great on the applications, as expected, but there was some improvement and at least I did something, rather than freeze up trying to think of what to do. My techniques were repetitive, not the best use of what I've learned so far, and not where I'd like them to be. But I did something.

In any case, it's over. I don't know if I passed yet. We aren't told right away. The test is given by the top student/disciple and one of the assistant instructors/disciples. Our Sifu doesn't stay for the entire duration of testing as we're nervous enough without him there on top of it.

It's videotaped for him to review in full, the papers we turned in have to be reviewed, and the *score* sheets or whatever they are that the tester's fill out while we test have to be reviewed. I'll know if I passed when I'm handed a new sash in the couple weeks.

All I can say is thank God it's over. Now I can breathe.
 
Glad to hear you took the test and I am sure you gave it all you got now please let us know what your sifu decides

Thanks Xue. I will.

As a side note, I'm sore today!
 
Jade, no one ever feels like they did the best they could at testing - I know I never do. No matter what I do well, I always focus on the parts that weren't as good as I wanted them to be. As long as you did the best you could and showed improvement, that's all that really matters.

Thanks for letting us know how it went.
 
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