Anger and the Stoics

[Gyakuto]

While in Athens recently, I was reading about the Stoic philosophers and their ideas. I came across some ideas on ‘not getting angry’ and some of them chimed with Eastern philosophy, with which I’m a bit more familiar. I thought I’d share them with you, especially when posts become heated on here. Point 3 is something I regularly use and a famous maxim from swordsmanship suggests a confrontation should resolved with the ‘sword remaining in the scabbard.’ If these don’t help, judicious use of the ignore button will

1) Reframe Insults- we suffer more in imagination than in reality. Insults only hurt because we allow them to. When someone says something offensive, ask yourself, '...is this really about me?'
People's negativity reflects there own struggles and not your worth. Practise seeing Insults as 'noise'…words that don't have any real impact upon you. The next time someone says something that offends you, pause and say to yourself, 'this is their problem, not mine.'

2) Control what you can, ignore what you can't. Other people's words, actions and opinions are completely outside our control, but our response is entirely up to us. If you understand this, you can ignore what does matter and concentrate upon what does; your own peace of mind. The next time someone upsets us, as yourself, 'is this in my control?' If not, let it go!

3) Practise negative visualisation. Mentally prepare for worst case scenarios. If you prepare your mind for potential Insults, criticisms or disrespect before they happen, they lose their sting when they do. Marcus Aurulieus did this daily reminding himself that today, he will encounter people who are selfish, rude and arrogant but I but I will not let it disturb my peace.

4) Respond with indifference. Nothing frustrates an angry person more than someone who refuses to react. If provoked, respond with calm indifference and their power over you will disappear, like a fire without oxygen. Simply smile and walk away.

5) Strengthen your mind through daily discipline. Meditate, think of when you felt anger creeping in and how you could have responded better, practise self-reflection. The more self-aware you become, the harder it becomes for others to disturb your calm.

 

[Haruhiko]

While in Athens recently, I was reading about the Stoic philosophers and their ideas. I came across some ideas on ‘not getting angry’ and some of them chimed with Eastern philosophy, with which I’m a bit more familiar. I thought I’d share them with you, especially when posts become heated on here. Point 3 is something I regularly use and a famous maxim from swordsmanship suggests a confrontation should resolved with the ‘sword remaining in the scabbard.’ If these don’t help, judicious use of the ignore button will

1) Reframe Insults- we suffer more in imagination than in reality. Insults only hurt because we allow them to. When someone says something offensive, ask yourself, '...is this really about me?'
People's negativity reflects there own struggles and not your worth. Practise seeing Insults as 'noise'…words that don't have any real impact upon you. The next time someone says something that offends you, pause and say to yourself, 'this is their problem, not mine.'

2) Control what you can, ignore what you can't. Other people's words, actions and opinions are completely outside our control, but our response is entirely up to us. If you understand this, you can ignore what does matter and concentrate upon what does; your own peace of mind. The next time someone upsets us, as yourself, 'is this in my control?' If not, let it go!

3) Practise negative visualisation. Mentally prepare for worst case scenarios. If you prepare your mind for potential Insults, criticisms or disrespect before they happen, they lose their sting when they do. Marcus Aurulieus did this daily reminding himself that today, he will encounter people who are selfish, rude and arrogant but I but I will not let it disturb my peace.

4) Respond with indifference. Nothing frustrates an angry person more than someone who refuses to react. If provoked, respond with calm indifference and their power over you will disappear, like a fire without oxygen. Simply smile and walk away.

5) Strengthen your mind through daily discipline. Meditate, think of when you felt anger creeping in and how you could have responded better, practise self-reflection. The more self-aware you become, the harder it becomes for others to disturb your calm.

If you've not already, read Marcus Aurelius' works on indifference. There's also Epictetus and Seneca but Aurelius is my go-to.

As for the Greeks, I have a soft spot for Diogenes. He's a proto-stoic cynic who some say was responsible for the development of stoicism. Probably the most controversial classical philosopher in history.

I find that Western Classical philosophy is very different to Eastern, at least insofar as intent of the philosophy goes (a la Confucianism to consolidate imperial control).

Not to say that the West didn't have their own Machiavellian scheming with the Borgia papacy and other religious shenanigans.

 

[Gyakuto]

Of course, I’ve read Aurelius in the original form… the way he intended us to read

 

[Gyakuto]

 

[Haruhiko]

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That's actually really cool, I need to find myself a copy.

 

[Gyakuto]

That's actually really cool, I need to find myself a copy.

I’m not being funny, Haruhiko san, but it might be a bit advanced for someone of your limited reading and knowledge of philosophy.

 

[Haruhiko]

I’m not being funny, Haruhiko san, but it might be a bit advanced for someone of your limited reading and knowledge of philosophy.

You've reminded me to read more fiction. Thank you.

 

[Gyakuto]

You've reminded me to read more fiction. Thank you.

Fiction? You’ll wasting your time on Harry Potter next

 

[Haruhiko]

Fiction? You’ll wasting your time on Harry Potter next

Dune Messiah and binge watching Twin Peaks. Probably still too cerebral so Harry Potter would ironically be a good suggestion.

 

[Gyakuto]

Dune Messiah and binge watching Twin Peaks. Probably still too cerebral so Harry Potter would ironically be a good suggestion.

Hmmm, I rarely read fiction…

 

[Gyakuto]

The Stoics also characterised ‘stupid people’ with six particular signs-

1) Having a closed mind. A closed mind acts as a barrier to progress, rejecting new ideas and hindering growth.

2) Blaming others. Constantly blaming others for challenges instead of taking responsibility leads to denial and stagnation.

3) Arrogance

4) Incapable of feeling empathy

5) Fear of changes

6) The talk more than they listen.

Now, can you think of at least one world leader who, obviously displays at least 5 out of these six? Maybe three?

 

[Buka]

Hmmm, I rarely read fiction…

Top selling books of all time are fiction. I guess people like fiction.

 

[isshinryuronin]

Top selling books of all time are fiction.

Good fiction can reflect reality but make it clearer and easier to see, sort of like those tactical sunglasses they advertise on TV.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

You’ll wasting your time on Harry Potter next

In the Harry Potter world, there is no such thing as "felt anger". A dead Voldemort is a good Voldemort.

 

[Fungus]

While in Athens recently, I was reading about the Stoic philosophers and their ideas. I came across some ideas on ‘not getting angry’ and some of them chimed with Eastern philosophy, with which I’m a bit more familiar. I thought I’d share them with you, especially when posts become heated on here. Point 3 is something I regularly use and a famous maxim from swordsmanship suggests a confrontation should resolved with the ‘sword remaining in the scabbard.’ If these don’t help, judicious use of the ignore button will

1) Reframe Insults- we suffer more in imagination than in reality. Insults only hurt because we allow them to. When someone says something offensive, ask yourself, '...is this really about me?'
People's negativity reflects there own struggles and not your worth. Practise seeing Insults as 'noise'…words that don't have any real impact upon you. The next time someone says something that offends you, pause and say to yourself, 'this is their problem, not mine.'

2) Control what you can, ignore what you can't. Other people's words, actions and opinions are completely outside our control, but our response is entirely up to us. If you understand this, you can ignore what does matter and concentrate upon what does; your own peace of mind. The next time someone upsets us, as yourself, 'is this in my control?' If not, let it go!

3) Practise negative visualisation. Mentally prepare for worst case scenarios. If you prepare your mind for potential Insults, criticisms or disrespect before they happen, they lose their sting when they do. Marcus Aurulieus did this daily reminding himself that today, he will encounter people who are selfish, rude and arrogant but I but I will not let it disturb my peace.

4) Respond with indifference. Nothing frustrates an angry person more than someone who refuses to react. If provoked, respond with calm indifference and their power over you will disappear, like a fire without oxygen. Simply smile and walk away.

5) Strengthen your mind through daily discipline. Meditate, think of when you felt anger creeping in and how you could have responded better, practise self-reflection. The more self-aware you become, the harder it becomes for others to disturb your calm.

Great suggestions, it immediately makes me associate to the relation between perception, cognition and emotional arousal, also implicit in some Budda quoute..

"pain is inevitable, suffering is optional"

I think it requires strong cognitive control however, can people with emotional hyperactivity or impaired cognitive control implement this?

 

[Gyakuto]

Top selling books of all time are fiction. I guess people like fiction.

You can’t say that about the Bible/Koran/Tanakh!

Fictional literature is the equivalent of TV drama. They’re fun, they’re escapism, they’re easy and there’s nothing wrong with that. Occasionally you get a really entertaining one; Da Vinci Code ≡ Dexter and an rarer event, a true classic, Sopranos/Breaking Bad ≡ Never Let Me Go/Project Hail Mary. But they’re just story books; an evolution of those one page stories you were made to write in school.

Reading a factual book like an autobiography is at another level. ‘Carrying the Fire’ by Apollo 11 astronaut Michael Collins is more incredible and it’s true! Alan Bean (Apollo12) describing looking back at the earth, encircled by a rainbow and equatorial silently raging thunderstorms like a string of transient pearls and then the moon reflected, a wondrous but foreboding jewel, in the Pacific ocean. The description of space-time - a substance 100 million times more rigid than steel - being bent in on itself into an infinitely deep depression by and infinitely dense and infinitely small star that has collapsed in on itself under it’s own gravity to create the most terrifying structure in the universe, a black hole! The subtle changes in brain structure/chemistry that render a person unable to to the most basic of abilities; to put themselves in the mind of another person, to feel and express emotion and, depending upon their socioeconomic background, become either serial killers or high achieving, ruthless, electric car/space company executives (). Aren’t those more incredible than any possible fiction because they’re true? It’s a delicious and nutritious meal compared to cheese cake and we know what happens if you only eat cheese cake - Rand Dump Lot/Darn Mud Plot/Pad Mold Runt/Rand Dump Lot.

I do enjoy the occasional Dexter though, despite all those yawning plot holes.

 

[Haruhiko]

Good fiction can reflect reality but make it clearer and easier to see, sort of like those tactical sunglasses they advertise on TV.

Dune has taught me a lot about imperialism and totalitarianism.

Lord of the Rings is as analogous to the Hero's Journey and the New Testament as CS Lewis' works.

Orwell uses fiction to tell us about reality and caution us from repeating history.

Dostoevsky uses fiction to argue with himself about existentialism, morality, ethics and religion.

So to @Gyakuto : read better fiction!

It's human to tell stories to understand and appreciate reality differently.

I'd argue non-fiction is interesting and fiction is beautiful (depending on the author!).

 

[Gyakuto]

Dune has taught me a lot about imperialism and totalitarianism.

Lord of the Rings is as analogous to the Hero's Journey and the New Testament as CS Lewis' works.

Orwell uses fiction to tell us about reality and caution us from repeating history.

Dostoevsky uses fiction to argue with himself about existentialism, morality, ethics and religion.

They introduced you to those ideas, but where did you go to get the real details? To really understand them? People choose fictional because it’s easy. Fiction ≡ Wikipedia; it gives you the rough outline of a topic but to get to the core of the subject, you might look at the references.

So to @Gyakuto : read better fiction!

That’s the point, nothing is better than the facts. ‘There was once a tortoise and a hare…’ compared with ‘don’t be complacent’

It's human to tell stories to understand and appreciate reality differently.

It was human to bang on hollowed out tree trunks for entertainment. I prefer personally Bach/Van Halen/St Vincent. Storytelling is an ancient tradition and the soothsayers were held in high esteem…because most people couldn’t read or be bothered. Reading factual stuff is sometimes hard work, but like exercise, the benefits are manyfold.

I'd argue non-fiction is interesting and fiction is beautiful (depending on the author!).

Earth surrounded by a rainbow with a pearl necklace of lightening isn’t a beautiful, real description?

 

[Haruhiko]

Earth surrounded by a rainbow with a pearl necklace of lightening isn’t a beautiful, real description?

"The sky above the port was the colour of television, tuned to a dead channel." - Gibson's Neuromancer
Homer wasn't spinning yarn for illiterates. In fact in the enlightenment, reading wasn't seen as a "can't be bothered" activity at all - it was regarded as mark of education and leisure.

‘There was once a tortoise and a hare…’ compared with ‘don’t be complacent’

If blunt statements were enough, we wouldn’t have mythology, folklore, or even literature. Stories teach lessons in a way that engages and sticks with people. That’s why The Tortoise and the Hare is remembered centuries later, while ‘Don’t be complacent’ is just another phrase people forget. The essential themes in parables are impact statements told over stories, not one liners. That's not how people learn or remember meaningful things.

 

[Gyakuto]

"The sky above the port was the colour of television, tuned to a dead channel." - Gibson's Neuromancer

‘Grey’ Just say it! You like words for their obtuse, indirectness, I enjoy clarity…at times.

Homer wasn't spinning yarn for illiterates. In fact in the enlightenment, reading wasn't seen as a "can't be bothered" activity at all - it was regarded as mark of education and leisure.

They didn’t read out loud too…

The beginning of silent reading changed Westerners’ interior life

A short history of our relationship with reading alone.

qz.com

If blunt statements were enough, we wouldn’t have mythology, folklore, or even literature.

Do you think haiku are ‘blunt’ and thus unworthy? Take Bashō’s most famous haiku…read it aloud.

Furu ike ya
kawazu tobikomu
mizu no oto

Old pond
frogs jumped in-
sound of water. (Lafcadio Hearn)

Hearts literal translation is beautiful because it encapsulates everything with the least words possible. Now here are some verbose are Western or at least influenced translations-

A lonely pond in age-old stillness sleeps . . .
Apart, unstirred by sound or motion . . . till
Suddenly into it a lithe frog leaps.

Pond, there, still and old!
A frog has jumped from the shore.
The splash can be heard.

The old pond, yes, and
A frog-jumping-in-the-
Water’s noise!

Breaking the silence
Of an ancient pond,
A frog jumped into water —
A deep resonance.

The old pond is still
a frog leaps right into it
splashing the water

Old dark sleepy pool
quick unexpected frog
goes plop! Watersplash

Ancient silent pond
Then a frog jumped right in
Watersound: kerplunk

Which do you prefer?

Stories teach lessons in a way that engages and sticks with people. That’s why The Tortoise and the Hare is remembered centuries later, while ‘Don’t be complacent’ is just another phrase people forget.

Some people. The tortoise and the hare is read to children for their simpler minds to grasp. Perhaps one could say instead, Katte kara kabuto no o wo shime yo ‘After victory, tighten your helmet cords’. I like ‘the pithy’.

The essential themes in parables are impact statements told over stories, not one liners.

Impact statements?

That's not how people learn or remember meaningful things.

Some people. ‘Turn the gas cooker off when you leave the house.’ vs Many years ago, there was a brave warrior who was about to set off for battle, for Agamemnon decreed that the Thracian must be….’ yeah yeah. He forgot to turn of his gas cooker and he returned from battle to find his house was rubble and his building’s insurance had lapsed….