Anger can you control it?

[jks9199]

I watched that movie in the theater with two friends, 3 hours later, we couldn't remember any of it... not the sign of a good flick.

The movie Remo Williams:The Adventure Begins wasn't great... but it wasn't terrible. It kept a decent amount of the feel of the book series that inspired it...

The Destroyer book series was great, for many years. I think it went pretty far downhill in the mid to late 90s... but that's just my opinion. It was "thinking men's adventure" writing.

And Chiun has some great lines throughout!

 

[still learning]

Hello, Anger is a learn response!

Have you met people who never gets angry over things like a fender bender?
If "angry" is a natural response? How come some people do not get angry and some do?

If it is natural for everyone to get mad? Then why is it some do and others don't? SIMPLE: We learn to respond from our past experiences growing up!

Look at those who gets "angry" real easy! and others you cannot get them angry?

Being angry and being happy are natural emotions.....very true....Each of us can choose which one we want!

If you except the fact :angry is a natural response and cannot be choosen? The whole world would be in trouble! You would be a emotional wreck.

In life many things happen to us (that we do not like)....getting angry at each one is not a good thing. So we learn to let alot things NOT to get us angry! Something you learn.....

Aloha (smile)

 

[still learning]

Hello, Example: In tournaments you see people sparring and accidental get hit very hard.

Sometimes you will see someone get mad/angry and start to let there emotions get to them. ANGER/RAGE...when hit by accident!

Others just brush it off? Why? is it natural to get ANGER or they choose to be anger? and for those who choose to smile? should they get angey instead? learned? or natural?

Aloha

 

[Kacey]

Hello, Example: In tournaments you see people sparring and accidental get hit very hard.

Sometimes you will see someone get mad/angry and start to let there emotions get to them. ANGER/RAGE...when hit by accident!

Others just brush it off? Why? is it natural to get ANGER or they choose to be anger? and for those who choose to smile? should they get angey instead? learned? or natural?

Aloha

Anger is an emotional response - like love, hate, joy, loathing, etc. One can learn to control anger, just like one can learn to control any other emotion - that doesn't mean you learn to not feel anger, but that you can choose how you respond to what you feel - the same way a person can feel attraction, or even love, for a person who is unavailable (e.g., attraction/crush for a person who is married); you can choose to not respond to that attraction.

Likewise, when someone hits me in a tournament or any other sparring session, I may or may not get angry, depending on the circumstances (how hard I was hit, the skill of the person hitting me, etc.) - but I do not let that anger, if I feel it, affect how I react, because getting angry is the worst thing one can do in a sparring match, or, even more, in a fight - because anger causes one to react without thinking, and that's very dangerous.

As to why people respond differently in similar situations - we are all individuals, and we respond based on our individual personalities and experiences. We are the sum of our past experiences, training and genetics, and therefore, we will all respond differently in the same situation - even identical twins will demonstrate different responses as they get older and begin to have separate experiences.

There are too many variables to say precisely why a particular person does, or does not, react a certain way - but I do think that having a positive role model, someone who controls their anger instead of letting it control him/her, is what many people need to learn to do the same thing themselves. Sometimes a single good example is all it takes, and sometimes that's not enough, depending on the person's background. There is no simple, clear, direct answer to why some people can control their anger easily, some control their anger with difficulty, and some let their anger control them - especially as an individual's ability to control anger will often vary with the situation.

 

[SKB]

Ok really anger is the same as love. I know some one is going to scream and say it is not but really it is! Have you ever known someone who crys at the drop of a hat? I've known people who are very quick to cry and get emontional about everything. Once you realize this you can control anger just as you can control fear or any other emotion. Anger can be used as a tool in your training or in a bad situation. Anger can allow you to do things you might not do normally.

 

[Kennedy_Shogen_Ryu]

Personally SKB I think you're right on the ball! You can't control love, (as you said I'm sure someone will yell at me for this) face it you can't say I'll choose to love this person or that person, or I just all of a sudden don't love this person anymore. Anger is the same thing, you can't control whether or not you'll get angry, the only thing you can really control is how you direct that anger, how you respond to a situation. Whether you'll be enveloped by your anger and let it control you or whether you'll use the momentum of anger and take control of a situation.

 

[Touch Of Death]

Not at all. No one thinks clearly when they are enraged. The quickest way to out smart someone, in any situation, is to piss them off.

Unless that gets you killed.
Sean

 

[still learning]

Hello, Martial art is a self-discipline, some people can control this...others cannot make themselve to work towards the physcial training involve and give up! (NO self-discipline) there bodies say NO and when the mind is weaker...they find themselves hopefully loss to earn a black belt.

Anger: is a discipline in us....some can control it others believe they cannot!

Like self-discipline. Soldiers in war? Do not have to be angry to shoot someone. When there is anger? ...they will make more mistakes?

Can the soldiers learn to control Anger? ....sure everyone can!

If you get anger real fast? or angry more often for for every little thing that happens to you? You had learn this behavior from a role model.

To believe anger is uncontrolable? Than you will never be able to "control your anger? and your beliefs is Anger a natural response and cannot be help?

Your choice to choose? ...........Aloha

 

[thardey]

Ok really anger is the same as love. I know some one is going to scream and say it is not but really it is! Have you ever known someone who crys at the drop of a hat? I've known people who are very quick to cry and get emontional about everything. Once you realize this you can control anger just as you can control fear or any other emotion. Anger can be used as a tool in your training or in a bad situation. Anger can allow you to do things you might not do normally.

I think you're on the right track -- not only is anger like love (not the true, decision-type love, but the emotional love) in that it comes and goes, but often anger is related to the fear of losing what we love.

Anger and hate are not the opposite of love - apathy is. Usually, the more we love something, the easier we are angered when something threatens it. The question then becomes, what do you love?

Someone mentioned that ego and anger are related -- for those who need to protect their ego, what are they in love with the most? Their reputation?

Many people "calm down" after they get married, or have kids - I think that they learn to love their families more than their own egos.

I am not an angry person - people know that I have a long fuse. But if someone threatens my family, I will be furious in a heartbeat, because I love them. I don't particularly like my pride, so if it is threatened, then so be it - it can use a good beatdown every once in a while.

So, I guess to control anger, develop healthy love.

 

[newGuy12]

I just got back from class, and had a bite to eat. Life is good. Its interesting as I read this, I honestly believe that I am too tired to get mad at anyone. If someone were to come up to me right now and start talking the worse trash possible, they could not get me mad. I'm totally out of gas.

If someone said, "Stick em up, Sissy, I'm taking your wallet", I'd have to comply.

But the push-ups increased to 12. Progress. And the other new student, a woman who is less massive than I, she can displace my center, just enough.

Displace the center just enough, not too much. The uke should not know that they are off balance, or, they will recover. I have received excellent instruction tonight. Life is too short to concentrate on the negative things, isn't it? I hope those "negative vampires" stay clear of me, of all of us. There are good people, in the schools. Good times. I wish I could feel so mellow all the time, I would be one smooth dude!

:ultracool

whew!

 

[Touch Of Death]

I just got back from class, and had a bite to eat. Life is good. Its interesting as I read this, I honestly believe that I am too tired to get mad at anyone. If someone were to come up to me right now and start talking the worse trash possible, they could not get me mad. I'm totally out of gas.

If someone said, "Stick em up, Sissy, I'm taking your wallet", I'd have to comply.

But the push-ups increased to 12. Progress. And the other new student, a woman who is less massive than I, she can displace my center, just enough.

Displace the center just enough, not too much. The uke should not know that they are off balance, or, they will recover. I have received excellent instruction tonight. Life is too short to concentrate on the negative things, isn't it? I hope those "negative vampires" stay clear of me, of all of us. There are good people, in the schools. Good times. I wish I could feel so mellow all the time, I would be one smooth dude!

:ultracool

whew!

Smooth Dudes make me so mad! LOL

 

[bmcgonag]

The question a number of you seem to be answering is whether or not we feel anger, and the question that was posed was can we control our anger.

We all feel anger, of course. Can we control, yes. It is an emotion, and emotions are within our control, just as are the movements of our limbs, the rate of our heart beat, etc. Sure there are those out there with very special disease that causes a disability in any of these areas, as there are people who's control over their emotions may not be as useful, or as easy to access, but for the vast majority control is absolutely within reach.

Allow me to use myself as an example. I have some of the worst road rage. I hate stupid people behind the wheel. Now, I could get out and pummel them into the asphalt, but I don't. This wouldn't solve anything. I feel the urge, however to vent my frustration, and in the comfort of my vehicle, with the windows up, I've let a few choice words go flying as these morons infract all that is intelligent and courteous.

It's a matter of knowing that you can control it with your mind, and vent it in ways that won't affect others, and then, get over it.

I also go lift weights, do my martial arts, run, meditate, and so on.

Never doubt that you will have anger, but always know that simply in asking the question, "Can I control my anger?", you have shown that you have the ability to control it.

Best,

Brian

 

[samurai69]

I tend to be ble to control it, but there are one or two silly things that set me off, where control is nearly impossible (SOMEONE WAGGING A FINGER IN FRONT OF ME - often makes me see red, even friends and family) but i think these were things that stemmed from things in the past. But in general i can control my anger

 

[Em MacIntosh]

To feel one's own anger and then fear it is the epidomy of ineptitude. Better to use it constructively. Don't confuse anger with frustration. Frustration locks you up.

 

[thardey]

To feel one's own anger and then fear it is the epidomy of ineptitude. Better to use it constructively. Don't confuse anger with frustration. Frustration locks you up.

That's a very good point --

Anger is to frustration what Scared is to Fear.

Being angry and being scared can be used in constructive, powerful ways -- they can alert you to the seriousness of your situation, and trigger the various chemicals in your body that help you deal with it.

Being frustrated, or being afraid tends to lock you up, so that you can't deal with the situation, you just stand there like a deer in the headlights, or you lose control and start doing stupid things- anything, so long as you have something to do, even though it makes your situation worse.

 

[MAFHonolulu]

Very interesting! Most people here are right on. Anger is basically a negative version of extreme emotion. It can usually be channeled into positive energy if one has had practice. Upbringing makes a huge difference in your ability to control/utilize anger properly. One of the toughest things to learn in controlling anger, I've found, is patience. Do I have the patience to wait the ten seconds before I respond to something upsetting? Of course, there's the rare case where the chemical waves in the brain are so extreme that they become unbearable/uncontrollable for the individual, but someone who doesn't suffer from such a neuro-psychological disorder can indeed learn to control anger.

 

[still learning]

I tend to be ble to control it, but there are one or two silly things that set me off, where control is nearly impossible (SOMEONE WAGGING A FINGER IN FRONT OF ME - often makes me see red, even friends and family) but i think these were things that stemmed from things in the past. But in general i can control my anger

Hello, It is amazing the reactions you get from ONE FINGER!

If you react and become angry or mad.....they won by getting you upset...."YOU LOST TO THEM"....because they were trying to get the better of you!

"TO WIN" is to NOT let it bother you....just smile...and go on your merry way.

But when shown two fingers? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa! joking here!

The only time one needs to react is when you see a couple of knuckles coming your way....or the finger coming into your eyesights!

In the old Hawaiian days...eating POI....was done with two fingers...just dip and lick.... ( Poi...good eating stuffs) made from the Taro Plant.

Aloha (let the finger do the walking-YELLOW PAGES).

PS: If shown the finger? and you get angry or mad? ......YOU LOST THE GAME!