Would you fight a friend?

[shesulsa]

Wow I don't know if i would be able to do that to my sister.

I have a different kind of relationship with my blood relatives than most. You know what they say - you can pick your friends and your nose, and you might even be able to pick your friend's nose - but you can't pick your family. Long story, so I won't bore you with it.

 

[kenpo tiger]

No. They're my friends. Why would I want to?

 

[Brother John]

I had to fight a friend once. It was several years ago, he was drunk(ish) and being beligerent. I didn't want to do it, constantly asked him to stop doing what he was doing...then warned him....then...
hurt him.
I hated it. To this day I wish it could have come out some other way. I don't see him anymore...partially because I moved 3 hours away, but also because once someone tries to victimize me or those I care about; they don't need me around anymore.

Your Brother
John

 

[kenpo tiger]

There is a parable which goes something like this:

A master had a student who was always getting into fights with others. One day he asked this student to come to his home. Once there, he asked the student to help him build a fence. Then he told him "Each time you fight with someone or say something bad, you will be able to drive another nail into this fence." Since the student was an aggressive sort, he thought that was great, and soon the entire fence was full of those nails. The master watched quietly and said nothing. After a while, the master told the student "This fence is full of nails, the way others are full of hurt from your words and actions." The student thought about this and said "I never thought about that, Master. How may I take the nails out?" "Each time you do or say something nice, you may remove a nail." The student eagerly went about trying to be nicer to people, and soon the fence had no extra nails in it. The student was very proud of himself and went to his Master, saying proudly "See Master? There are no more extra nails in the fence and I've become a nicer person." The Master shook his head. "You have learned to be nicer but at a price. The nails may be gone, but the holes will always remain."

We all need to consider how we treat our friends. You can fight or argue with them or say hurtful things and then make up with them, but the hurt will always be there.

 

[shesulsa]

Those are nice words. People I used to call friend and family received my nice words and actions also, however, their nails stabbed me in the back many times.

How many nails do you allow yourself to receive?

Any human - no matter their relation to me - who attacks me physically will not be allowed to continue. No human who attempts to attack me personally will remain in my circle of friends.

You can simply stop befriending spiritual vampires, users, ill tempered and out-of-control people. But once they have committed themselves to harm you...do you allow yourself to get nailed?

 

[KenpoTess]

Interesting Topic.. let's see what some of the new members think

 

[Grenadier]

I would try my darndest to avoid fighting a friend "for real." Of course, in my college years, my friends would get into a few 'rasslin confrontations, and after which someone gained superiority, it usually ended in "OK. You win. Let's go get some beer."

There was one incident, though, when one fellow was heavily intoxicated, and someone started feeding him rumors that one of his friends was sleeping with his girlfriend. For some reason, that made him fly into a rage, and he came after his friend with a fury...

He almost got to him, until one other fellow and I ended up tackling him, and pinning him to the ground, until he wore himself out. It wasn't easy, and I certainly couldn't have done it myself. It's amazing how much of a fight a drunk with an adrenaline surge from his anger, can put up.

My friend and I were both training in the martial arts, and had a decent working knowledge of grappling, so we tried our best to keep him subdued without resorting to strikes.

He ended up straining his shoulder (I never knew someone could be so flexible), but in my opinion, that was a small price to pay, considering what could have happened. He's not really a friend of mine anymore, and still blames my friend and I for "popping his shoulder" and ruining his chances at trying to walk-on to one of the school's varsity athletic teams that year. The final straw was when he was threatening to tell the student affairs people that we assaulted him, but when one of my friends who produced a cassette tape recording (he was practicing on his drums) of the incident, that quickly shut him up.

While the above wasn't a case of having to use potentially lethal strikes against a friend, it's still an example of how people who you think are good friends, can go bad. It rarely happens, thankfully, amongst good friends, but it still can.

If a friend posed a very big threat, then yes, I would use potentially lethal strikes if there were no other way. I'd probably hate myself for doing it, but I'd rather be alive to hate myself, than the alternative of not having to worry...

 

[Sam]

I have had to fight a family member before.

My theory is, do what you gotta do, do the least damage possible.

But if it's me or them, it's gonna be ME, whether they've been my best friend since 3rd grade or not.

 

[Zepp]

Interesting Topic.. let's see what some of the new members think

Ah, the joys of thread necromancy. I didn't reply to this one before, so I guess I'll do it now.

Mostly the situations under which I might fight a friend (not counting "playing around") are the same as those under which I'd fight a stranger,- when my own saftey, or that of someone I care about is threatened. The only other situations (which have been mentioned by others I think) is when I might have to prevent an intoxicated friend from driving, or starting a fight with someone who really wants to hurt them.

When you think about it, you're probably safer fighting a buddy than someone you don't know. They're not as likely to kick you in the head when your'e down, attack your groin, deliberately break your arm or leg, or use a weapon. (At least, my friends aren't.)

To borrow a quote from the movie Rushmore, "With friends like you, who needs friends?!"

 

[SAVAGE]

I would try to avoid a fight..I would lock him up...then try to de escalate by talking.....If that didnt work I would grab a few key places to cause enough pain to make him think twice......failing that i would choke him out...or only use body shots to convince him of his errors!

God I hope that doesnt happen...between all the training and my new family..I have so few freinds left!

 

[AdrenalineJunky]

I fight my friends every weekend. One of'em split my lip on Saturday; I'm still feeling that one.

People just need a good rap on the beak every-now-and-again. I'll tell you who I'd love beat the poo out of: the idiot in the car in front of me, on his cell phone; the jerk with thirty items in the nine item express lane at the supermarket; Bush supporters, religious fanatics, racists, and Brittany Spears. The list is virtually endless, people. I'd like to think that my friends are my friends because they are less-an-idiot that the rest of the world, but, nope, they're just like me: complete dumbasses sometimes. Jackarsery is a symptom of humanity.

I apologize for the tangent. :asian: