Steve
Mostly Harmless
Just a point where it becomes a merry go round. I tend to stay on longer than I should.
Women Self Defence!
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jobo
Grandmaster
ithink the definitions are different in the states, in the uk statutory rape is where the girl is 12 or under, this is a relatively new law, before this that consent had been given was a mitigating factor, 13 to 15 its an offence just not a particularly serious one one if the age of the participent its quite close, so 14 to 18 its highly unlikely the law would want to get involved, 14 /28 perhaps so
jobo
Grandmaster
jobo
Grandmaster
the history of the ago consent in the uk is murky, up to the late 1800s the age of consent was 10, then following a scandal where an MP bought himself a 10 year old girl, with pure motives, it was bumped to 13, which was also problematic as girls hit puberty a lot later due to poor diet and no birth certificates no one knew how old anyone actually was, so they bumped it to 16 where they should at least look a bit grown up,, unless you got married then it was 14
my grandma married her 18 yo boy friend at 14, they managed to live happily for half a century
Urban Trekker
Brown Belt
I just remembered that I wanted to respond to these:
Now, this has become the norm. And I've seen women all over social media who aren't happy about it.
Not really my concern, and I'll make sure that my son will also be of the mind that it's not his concern. The whole "persistence" thing is just not worth the risk.
So, here's the thing about this: when I was single, I was only going to take rejection from any particular woman only once. That's it. Apparently, that wasn't the norm when I was doing it.
Now, this has become the norm. And I've seen women all over social media who aren't happy about it.
Not really my concern, and I'll make sure that my son will also be of the mind that it's not his concern. The whole "persistence" thing is just not worth the risk.
Oh, I will tell my son that some women like it rough and others don't. Because that's the truth.
jobo
Grandmaster
we have people who are to old to care, telling others how sexual politics should work, adults can work it out for themselves i predict the extinction of our species
drop bear
Sr. Grandmaster
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Well yes and no, on here, a non academic site, I write as I'd talk in the pub or at a dinner party, conversationally.
If I were to make a statement of fact I'd back it up with citations, however in my two not disparate careers as well as my martial arts 'journey' I've met a great many sons of single mothers, not unusual when one is nearly in one's seventies and I've not found any lack of respect for my gender based on the fact they were brought up by a single woman, for other reasons yes. Most admired their mothers for doing a very hard job well.
When one writes something on here and someone tells you 'no you didn't mean that and you are wrong' it's laughable. Yes, I could be wrong but yes I did mean exactly what I said. It's paternalism to tell someone they didn't write what they meant. To tell me no one catcalls girls and women these days is pure nonsense of course.
Women's self defence is one of those areas where many well meaning men tell women what they want and need. Women know how they are treated in public and in the workplace, yet so many ignore that so many small incidences wear you down, that the lack of thought and respect plus an upbringing which allows this is an entitlement that needs to be stopped.
I recently read an article written in the UK by a young black solicitor about the small bits of racism she faced everyday, from being thought the defendant or a cleaner when she entered a court building to ignorant comments about her hair or skin. I had no idea, it was an eye opener and caused me much thought and something I'm taking to heart. I had no idea because I am not a young black woman experiencing her life, the same is true of men when it comes to the embarrassments women face everyday which seem trivial but really aren't. Women's self defence is based around defending yourself against a stranger who is trying to rape, it doesn't take into account the gropes, the pinches the pats, that women are told are just boys being boys, or the boss who corners them, the friendly guy just giving you a lift home but wants a kiss and grope as payment or the gang of young students who think touching up a girl is acceptable.
Anyway, I have to stop and have breakfast, then out for walk with Enzo (see profile pic) thank you for trying to explain I do appreciate it.
Why would similar gender make someone an expert in self defense?
I would assume it would have more to do with qualifications or expertise.
And the same the other way. I assume women are more than capable at teaching men to defend themselves as well.
D
Deleted member 39746
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As far as i know morally speaking and for scalibility in charging for a court etc, it shouldnt be considered the same as rape. As the person gave consent, the ability to consent is just in dispute, as opposed to no affirmative consent. I honestly dont view the two as same, but thats my look on it.
As far as i know, it only applied to age. Persons who did it to somone who couldnt give consent or didnt on diffrent grounds would be charged with full on rape.
That could be dated, i know males tend to get the short end of the stick for crime(especially in this area, and especially again in this day and age), but im not going to get into that for politics grounds. (to bring it up for dispute would get quite political)
I dont think i gave legal advise in this instance, and it tends to nomimally be based off memory (i dont exactly memorise the numerical code assianged to some laws). If i do give a proper quote or some semblance of advise i tend to drudge up a law, or write it near equally to find the actual law yourself. Also for note, the crime in question doesnt exist here as far as i am aware, there is no statory rape in english law.
Addendum: i would also question why you would take legal advise in this isntance off the internet or shoddy uncited law from a international community that may or may not apply to you.
Hanzou
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Bjj. Learning how to choke, how to escape chokes, and dealing with a strength/weight disadvantage in grappling range is essential for female self defense. I would pair that training with a standard SD course.
jobo
Grandmaster
I'm wondering how many jurisdictions your " aware of "
statutory rape seems to be an almost exclusively american concept, which would be just one jurisdiction
Ah, what you have missed is the use of the word 'just' this changing the meaning of my sentence to the opposite of my meaning. Of course rape is a criminal offence (except in places where marital rape doesn't exist in law
). However it's more than the stereotype stranger violent attack that so many believe is what self defence is meant to be against.I didn't say that a woman would say go ahead, it's when a man carries on anyway when the woman is no in a position to say no, that's rape whether you think it is or not.
The culture wars are very evident in the US where you have a strong Xtian lobby who believe in such things as 'surrendered wives' and of course from the previous president and his inane objectification and specialisation of women.
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You can tell your son that but it wasn't my point was it, which was don't tell him that women like it rough.
It's not the norm for men to take no for an answer, we've had horrendous stalking cases as well as murders committed by men who won't take no for an answer. Yes we have women who stalk but for different reasons.
It's not your concern how women are treated? Okay so that explains a lot, no concerns for the future of your society or any care for humanity. Remember, for evil to flourish it's enough for good men to do nothing.
Urban Trekker
Brown Belt
Ah, so now you've gone from putting words in my mouth to twisting my words to mean what they didn't mean. Or maybe you're just lost in the sauce. In which case, I'll break this down so that any feeble-minded person can understand:
1. I said that, in my single days, I would take rejection from any particular woman only once. The second she says no, I'm finished. I'm not going to subject myself to rejection a second time.
2. I said that this appears to not have been the norm back then.
3. I base #2 on the fact that women all over social media are complaining that men are no longer persistent and quit after being rejected once.
4. I was saying that their complaints of men quitting after being rejected only once are not my concern. First, because I'm married now. I've been out of the dating game for 16 years now. Secondly, even if that wasn't the case, again, I'm only subjecting myself to rejection once and that's it. Thirdly, even if I was the persistent type, it's not worth the risk of a sexual harassment case. And this is why it's now common for men to stop after being told "no" only once.
Again; their complaints of men no longer being persistent - not my concern.
If that upsets you, then you need to rescind your statement of not telling boys that women play hard to get.
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Lost in the sauce? Dear Lord you think I'm drunk! There's no discussing things with you is there? You constantly misunderstand not just my posts but others, whether deliberately or through lack of comprehension, always coming back with nonsense that you twist so you sound like a victim.
Women aren't all over social media complaining men aren't persistent at all, what on earth are you looking at, first it's frustrated British men now it's whining women, really you are either making poor choices or making it up.
Btw congrats on 16 years married, I've been married for 46 years. I'm also a veteran and had another uniformed career where I saw just about all life, behaviours.....criminal and humane.
If the best you can do is accuse me of being drunk because you don't understand my points then it's down to you not me.
It's got to that point now, definitely time to get off this one.Just a point where it becomes a merry go round. I tend to stay on longer than I should.
Urban Trekker
Brown Belt
Lost in the sauce? Dear Lord you think I'm drunk! There's no discussing things with you is there? You constantly misunderstand not just my posts but others, whether deliberately or through lack of comprehension, always coming back with nonsense that you twist so you sound like a victim.
Women aren't all over social media complaining men aren't persistent at all, what on earth are you looking at, first it's frustrated British men now it's whining women, really you are either making poor choices or making it up.
Btw congrats on 16 years married, I've been married for 46 years. I'm also a veteran and had another uniformed career where I saw just about all life, behaviours.....criminal and humane.
If the best you can do is accuse me of being drunk because you don't understand my points then it's down to you not me.
Stop Telling Men Who Understand “No” to “Be Persistent”
We’re sending men two opposing messages and then mocking their trepidation.
medium.com
Woman Asks Why A Guy She Turned Down Didn’t Try Harder, Gets The Perfect Response
A guy invites a girl on a date, tries all of his best moves, but she says no. A guy has to move on, otherwise, it's harassment. Unless it isn't? Recently, a girl surprised the internet when she posted a question on Quora, asking why her date wasn't a mind reader.
www.boredpanda.com
Clearly, you're the type that doesn't know when they've been defeated. So I'm going to tell you: you've been defeated. Just stop.
Son, your language shows exactly how seriously you took this discussion, only it wasn't a discussion to you it was all about defeating your opponent. Childish behaviour betraying the fact you are a keyboard warrior with delusions of being relevant.Stop Telling Men Who Understand “No” to “Be Persistent”
We’re sending men two opposing messages and then mocking their trepidation.
Woman Asks Why A Guy She Turned Down Didn’t Try Harder, Gets The Perfect Response
A guy invites a girl on a date, tries all of his best moves, but she says no. A guy has to move on, otherwise, it's harassment. Unless it isn't? Recently, a girl surprised the internet when she posted a question on Quora, asking why her date wasn't a mind reader.
Clearly, you're the type that doesn't know when they've been defeated. So I'm going to tell you: you've been defeated. Just stop.
If you think puff pieces from advertising driven sites are legitimate citations then my dear you are seriously deluded about your claims of being a student of socialogy.
No I'm not 'defeated' I wasn't competing or fighting as you were, I was genuinely trying to put a female perspective on a subject close to my heart, you on the other hand were all about point scoring with no thought to the subject matter.
You accused me of being drunk, on the juice, as you called it. It says far more about you than me. My dear, you may think you've won something but really that's just your ego talking. The losers, of course, are those looking here to find serious, competent and practical advice on female self defence and finding instead a male giving his opinion that most things wrong with the world are down to single mothers, but of course he's perfect, the ideal husband, respects women of course. Only he doesnt, because he can't sustain a civilised, open minded discussion with a woman without wanting to 'win' it.
And now I am going to have a drink, my son in law's team have just won the Derby and I prefer to talk to reasonable people who don't see conversations as a battlefield.
Enjoy your Pyrric victory.
Urban Trekker
Brown Belt
Oh, this long-winded reply full of character judgements, and you're not taking this seriously?
It should come as no surprise that you're going dismiss sources that destroy your narrative (yet, another example of you not knowing when you've been defeated), but you'd better learn how to spell sociology before making assessments on how well versed others are in it.
I suggest you do what you said you were going to do, and stop. You've had enough internet for the day.
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ATTENTION ALL USERS:
This thread, like all threads, has a topic. Please return to that topic. Before you click the POST button, you would be well advised to ask yourself if your post is about that topic. If your post isn't about that topic, you should reconsider posting it.
Mark A Cochran
@Dirty Dog
Martial Talk Senior Moderator
This thread, like all threads, has a topic. Please return to that topic. Before you click the POST button, you would be well advised to ask yourself if your post is about that topic. If your post isn't about that topic, you should reconsider posting it.
Mark A Cochran
@Dirty Dog
Martial Talk Senior Moderator
It seems the subject of women's self defence is a difficult one for some to discuss, as is defence against rape. I would suggest actually closing the thread. I doubt the discussion will continue in any meaningful way, at least meaningful to females.
It's no surprise that so few if any other women ever post on here. We used to have a lot, this is the sort of thing that drives them away.
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