Why do you like fighting?

[Psilent Knight]

That is a broad brush sentiment though one that might be exactly true..

You're right. It IS a broad brush that is stroked in my reply and I debated with myself for a few minutes as to whether or not I should say that. But after pondering on your opening questions I thought you were looking for each participant's conclusion and the reason(s) those conclusions were reached. But it's also possible that too much of my personal life philosophy/worldview was etched in that part of my reply.

Could it be *fear* or reticence in recognising this mentality within us that cause us to apparently loathe fighting (yet be prepared to engage in it)? what do you think?? Thank you for taking time to write out your reply

That's an interesting question but I'm not sure if it's fear or reticence in the recognition of this mentality. At least I don't think it is for me. It depends on how you or anyone else here will interpret the following statements.....

Based on the responses that I have read in this thread I think that basically everyone who has replied, though they are practicing Martial Artists, are peace loving people. But I also think (and correct me if I'm wrong guys) that they, like me, realize that in order to have PEACE we must be prepared for WAR. I am looking at it from a societal perspective with that statement.

But quite a few of the posters here shared their disdain for troublemakers; people who wake up every day thinking about nothing else except harming other people JUST BECAUSE! I don't know what you guys call such people but I call them sociopaths.

Take a look at the Yin/Yang in my AV. If the sociopaths are the yin then we peace loving Martial Artists are the yang. If there was NEVER such a thing in all of human history in which some human beings demonstrated violent sociopathic behavior I think the fighting arts would have never come to be because there would be no reason for it.

This world is obviously not entirely yang otherwise we would have a world with no violence, injustice or people intruding on the rights of others. And it is because of warriors such as yourselves along with law and order that this world isn't entirely yin either.

To more specifically answer your question; for me I do hate violence and I do hate the fact that I sometimes have to engage in it and stoop to the level of these barbarians in order to not be yet another head on their mantel. If people like you and I did not do this, if law enforcement and laws of society did nothing then this world would degrade into a world of complete yin.

Please look at my AV again and this time look at it not as Yin Yang but as two individuals engaged in violence. They are doing the same thing. The difference is the intention of each individual part. One part decided to start it and the other part meets it in kind to end it. I loathe that some people like doing this and I loathe that they sometimes force me to oblige them.

I don't know if I answered your question or not. I hope I did.

Take Care and Have A Good Weekend,
Osu!

 

[Flying Crane]

True, but once you believe your life or health is endangered you do whatever you think you need to do to protect yourself.

I am not suggesting anything otherwise.

 

[Flying Crane]

Also it can be easy to sit back and Monday Morning QB something but you got to remember experiencing the situation and looking at it after the fact is to completely different perspectives.

I can only say that I have successfully made the decision, in the heat of the moment, more than once. And thinking about it the next day did not change my feelings about my decision.

Ones mileage may vary.

 

[Martial_Kumite]

When you constantly run self-defense scenarios through your mind, you start to wonder if you could "finish the job" if the need arose. Most people would believe thy could if it was absolutely necessary, and others will say that they would find another way. But when the adrenaline is running, and you enter the zone, even the most docile people can become......unpredictable at best. That is what I believe martial artist really fear. Not IF they could do it, but if they lose control enough to hurt someone. Discipline is what martial artist gain, but it is the human element that works against this discipline. The realization that mistakes can be made, and there is no undoing them.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

Not all violence is avoidable though.

Agree! When someone tries to rape your wife and you run away, it's better for you to get a rope, find a quite place, and hang yourself.

Fight, you may die. Run, you'll live. At least for a while, and die in your bed many years from now ...

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

If someone tries to fight you, you can

- play defense and test your blocking and dodging skill, or
- test your running speed.

If someone tries to hurt your love one, you should beat him up that

- his own mother won't be able to recognize him.
- he will regret that his mother ever brought him to this earth.
- he can't take care of himself for the rest of his life.
- he will spend hours looking for his missing teeth on the ground.
- ...

 

[Ironbear24]

Is different for every person I am sure.. Do you like fighting? I am asked this question and find it difficult to explain to a person who does not routinely fight.. I do not mean training drills and technique. I mean fighting. Any fighting that is not training drills or technique, in any circumstance, why do you like it?

Also, have you ever been engaged in a fight out of necessity and got what might be called enjoyment, or a buzz from it? Just a question.

Thank you.

I always get flak from this but honestly I don't really care. I don't go through the whole PC thing of "self defense only and always try your best to avoid fighting." At the same time I don't go out of my to look for them and no longer provoke them as I did before.

I have had situations in the best where I would egg them on to fight by arguing with them. Now I just walk away and if followed then I'll fight. I been in maybe 7 or 8 fights and only about 2 of them were actually fights that were necessary.

I enjoy the fighting but not the drama that comes with it because I don't enjoy drama. I get a feel of adrenaline and excitement when I fight that I wouldn't get from other outlets. Not until I began sparring more often anyway, point sparring is not something I really enjoy but when we get into heavier stuff that is when I have a lot of fun.

All the other times outside of the 7 or 8 weren't fights but sparring matches.

 

[JowGaWolf]

I always get flak from this but honestly I don't really care. I don't go through the whole PC thing of "self defense only and always try your best to avoid fighting."

I don't think it's a PC thing. I think people change with age, responsibilities and skill development. Live long enough and you may have a chance to see that monster that lives deep in you. Once you see it, you'll know right away that it's best to keep that monster far from the surface where it can harm others. You won't ever get rid of it because you'll be too concerned that you may need that monster one day, but until it'll stay safe beneath the layers of your personality and will power.

Sometimes it's age. The older you get the less you can afford to be in a fight. The older you get the less you can muscle through things and the less you can meet brute strength with brute strength. You'll get to the age where you'll understand that you can be beaten.

Then there's those who have family. If you ever have a family of your own then you're less likely to risk their safety. When I was single, it was just me and I was more than willing to give a beating or take one. But not that I'm married and have kids, that willingness may put them in danger. There's no guarantee that fight will only involve fists. When thing get out of hand, weapons can appear and people can get shot. It wasn't too long ago where a woman had road rage and got her son involved. Her son confronted the guys his mom was road raging on and the guys shot him. She lost her son because of her actions. Later on it turned out they all new each other and drugs were involved. It didn't change anything because she still lost her son, when she went to get him to "Prove" her point.

 

[JP3]

Man, I leave to do some real world work for one day, 1 day (!) and you guys and gals go and have a great thread.

I sort of land on and bridge the perspective of JowGaWolf and IronBear on this. First, I'm way anti-bully, due to the below. Defend the weaker, stop dumb aggression, did that for a living through college in one of the amateur methods (bar security).

I originally got in MA when I was 8, as I started to get into a bunch of fights at school, starting about age 7. The fights weren't my idea, I was smaller and younger than the kids who wanted to fight me, typical bully behavior and I had no idea how to deal with it. Put up with it without complaint to anyone for about a year and a half. Then a couple of the kids upped the ante and cornered me at once, just to see if they could I think. Butt kicking took place, with me on the receiving end. That time, I was sort of messed up and couldn't concal it so ended up having to explain it, and what had been happening to my mom.

Bless her heart (looking back on it now) all she could find for me was apparently a traditional aikido school. If there is Any type of school for which an 8 year old who needs to learn how to defend himself should be in... traditional Aikido ain't it
Scroll forward three years, and just because I had so much practice in fighting, unfortunately, I started to get better at it, fortunately. Yes, I did start to get enjoyment out of it. I would think that it was a relief reaction to be the guy on top at the end, rather than the guy on the bottom. Or the guy hollering insults at the other guy as he ran away, rather than vice-versa. That attitude stuck with me until I was... maybe 20, 21? Now black belted, full-contact experience, and relatively big at 6'3" & 225lb I got to the point where, in any normal, typical dumb guy dust-up I was not threatened at all by what was coming. The attitude began to change. As it was so easy to win against someone who had no training or real experience, it was too easy, and the pleasure began to fade. Quickly. It was still fun to"win" during practice, with my friends of the MA school. Does that make sense?

Older now, and with a keen eye on whether or not what you do may mean that you and your family could potentially lose all you've earned due to a bad decision, restraint leaps to the forefront. However, if someone touches my wife or daughter who does not have their permission and I'm there that person will pull back a nub. Likewise, if a friend is in physical need and faced with a situation they did not start, again I am in... though with more restraint on what I do for them vs. wife/daughter. I DO live in Texas, and certain things are generally excused in Texas, and other things are not.

... and... since this happened last year, if I'm hanging out with said wife, our friends etc... nd alcohol is involved, and some typical bar goombah wants to start something, just won't leave it alone and swings.... Hmmm. That guy gets what he deserved. And yes, it still felt good.

I apologize if my personal outlook isn't PC, but then... I'm really not PC, anyway.

 

[CB Jones]

I don't see any problem defending yourself or someone and having pride in your ability afterwards.

If you are actively looking for a fight you need to take a serious look inward.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

I originally got in MA when I was 8, as I started to get into a bunch of fights at school, starting about age 7. The fights weren't my idea, I was smaller and younger than the kids who wanted to fight me, typical bully behavior and I had no idea how to deal with it.

I share the same kind of experience as you have. I was the youngest one in my elementary school 1st grade.

When I was

- 4 in kindergarten, I started my first fight.
- 5 in 1st grade, I got into fight almost everyday during lunch hour and after school. I still remember one day I swung a bloom and fought against my whole class.
- 6 in 2nd grade, one day I bite on a girl's arm, made her cry, so she won't bother me everyday.
- 7, after I found out that my Taiji teacher taught me Taiji for health, I left him.
- ...

 

[CB Jones]

I used to kick my mother in the stomach when I was a fetus....I'm not proud of my actions.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

When my son was sent back home because he got into a fight in elementary school in his 3rd grade, I was so happy. Finally he was not a nerd after all. I didn't mind he got into fight. I did mind if he was afraid to stand up and faced challenge. I told him that I got into fight when I was 4 in kindergarten.

My son was not interested in MA. When he was in his 2nd grade, I almost asked my friend's son and his friends to corner my son and beat my son up in school. I still regret that I didn't do that, otherwise he should be at least 3rd degree black belt by now.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Man, I leave to do some real world work for one day, 1 day (!) and you guys and gals go and have a great thread.

I sort of land on and bridge the perspective of JowGaWolf and IronBear on this. First, I'm way anti-bully, due to the below. Defend the weaker, stop dumb aggression, did that for a living through college in one of the amateur methods (bar security).

I originally got in MA when I was 8, as I started to get into a bunch of fights at school, starting about age 7. The fights weren't my idea, I was smaller and younger than the kids who wanted to fight me, typical bully behavior and I had no idea how to deal with it. Put up with it without complaint to anyone for about a year and a half. Then a couple of the kids upped the ante and cornered me at once, just to see if they could I think. Butt kicking took place, with me on the receiving end. That time, I was sort of messed up and couldn't concal it so ended up having to explain it, and what had been happening to my mom.

Bless her heart (looking back on it now) all she could find for me was apparently a traditional aikido school. If there is Any type of school for which an 8 year old who needs to learn how to defend himself should be in... traditional Aikido ain't it
Scroll forward three years, and just because I had so much practice in fighting, unfortunately, I started to get better at it, fortunately. Yes, I did start to get enjoyment out of it. I would think that it was a relief reaction to be the guy on top at the end, rather than the guy on the bottom. Or the guy hollering insults at the other guy as he ran away, rather than vice-versa. That attitude stuck with me until I was... maybe 20, 21? Now black belted, full-contact experience, and relatively big at 6'3" & 225lb I got to the point where, in any normal, typical dumb guy dust-up I was not threatened at all by what was coming. The attitude began to change. As it was so easy to win against someone who had no training or real experience, it was too easy, and the pleasure began to fade. Quickly. It was still fun to"win" during practice, with my friends of the MA school. Does that make sense?

Older now, and with a keen eye on whether or not what you do may mean that you and your family could potentially lose all you've earned due to a bad decision, restraint leaps to the forefront. However, if someone touches my wife or daughter who does not have their permission and I'm there that person will pull back a nub. Likewise, if a friend is in physical need and faced with a situation they did not start, again I am in... though with more restraint on what I do for them vs. wife/daughter. I DO live in Texas, and certain things are generally excused in Texas, and other things are not.

... and... since this happened last year, if I'm hanging out with said wife, our friends etc... nd alcohol is involved, and some typical bar goombah wants to start something, just won't leave it alone and swings.... Hmmm. That guy gets what he deserved. And yes, it still felt good.

I apologize if my personal outlook isn't PC, but then... I'm really not PC, anyway.

It doesn't have to be PC. It's what it is. We are who we are.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

So I read the first few responses, and have not had time to read through all 5 pages. However, I got the sense that it was going in the direction of "I enjoy controlled (sparring) matches, but dislike actual fighting".

Personally, this isn't the case for me. I absolutely love sparring with people. I've actually been told by (non-martial art practitioner) friends not to let people see it because it's disconcerting how much I enjoy sparring, whether I am getting creamed, the other person is, or it's an even match. I genuinely enjoy sparring because it lets me measure myself against others, and is one of the purest forms of competition I have seen.

However, I also like fighting outside of sparring/the dojo, and this is an entirely different experience for me. It's been a long time since I've been in a fight, and I have never been in a SD scenario. However, up until around 18 or so, I would purposefully piss people off with anger issues to get into fights with them. It was a stupid idea, I am fully aware, but I did it anyway. I absolutely loved the adrenaline rush during it, and the risk of what would happen in the fight. It might help that I never lost one of those fights, so I was overconfident, and stopped them before I got unlucky and fought someone better/more lucky than me.

As for why I like fights (sparring, or fighting), it's a combination of two things. The first is the intellectual part. This applies more to sparring, but gauging the opponents abilities, what they're good/bad at, and creating a plan accordingly is fun and a challenge for me. The second part is the adrenaline rush, and uncertainty of it. I can know for a fact that I am technically a better fighter than someone, but there is still that uncertainty of who will win, and that along with the adrenaline rush is probably one of the most exciting things I've ever experienced. It's a challenge for me not to fight...I am aware of the possible negative consequences, which keep me from it, but I also miss rush that I got from it, which I haven't been able to recreate in any other environments.

I actively avoid getting into fights (outside sparring) now, and haven't gotten into one in years, but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss it. The only part i don't miss is the after-fight jitters, and even those I see through rose-colored glasses.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Man, I leave to do some real world work for one day, 1 day (!) and you guys and gals go and have a great thread.

I sort of land on and bridge the perspective of JowGaWolf and IronBear on this. First, I'm way anti-bully, due to the below. Defend the weaker, stop dumb aggression, did that for a living through college in one of the amateur methods (bar security).

I originally got in MA when I was 8, as I started to get into a bunch of fights at school, starting about age 7. The fights weren't my idea, I was smaller and younger than the kids who wanted to fight me, typical bully behavior and I had no idea how to deal with it. Put up with it without complaint to anyone for about a year and a half. Then a couple of the kids upped the ante and cornered me at once, just to see if they could I think. Butt kicking took place, with me on the receiving end. That time, I was sort of messed up and couldn't concal it so ended up having to explain it, and what had been happening to my mom.

Bless her heart (looking back on it now) all she could find for me was apparently a traditional aikido school. If there is Any type of school for which an 8 year old who needs to learn how to defend himself should be in... traditional Aikido ain't it
Scroll forward three years, and just because I had so much practice in fighting, unfortunately, I started to get better at it, fortunately. Yes, I did start to get enjoyment out of it. I would think that it was a relief reaction to be the guy on top at the end, rather than the guy on the bottom. Or the guy hollering insults at the other guy as he ran away, rather than vice-versa. That attitude stuck with me until I was... maybe 20, 21? Now black belted, full-contact experience, and relatively big at 6'3" & 225lb I got to the point where, in any normal, typical dumb guy dust-up I was not threatened at all by what was coming. The attitude began to change. As it was so easy to win against someone who had no training or real experience, it was too easy, and the pleasure began to fade. Quickly. It was still fun to"win" during practice, with my friends of the MA school. Does that make sense?

Older now, and with a keen eye on whether or not what you do may mean that you and your family could potentially lose all you've earned due to a bad decision, restraint leaps to the forefront. However, if someone touches my wife or daughter who does not have their permission and I'm there that person will pull back a nub. Likewise, if a friend is in physical need and faced with a situation they did not start, again I am in... though with more restraint on what I do for them vs. wife/daughter. I DO live in Texas, and certain things are generally excused in Texas, and other things are not.

... and... since this happened last year, if I'm hanging out with said wife, our friends etc... nd alcohol is involved, and some typical bar goombah wants to start something, just won't leave it alone and swings.... Hmmm. That guy gets what he deserved. And yes, it still felt good.

I apologize if my personal outlook isn't PC, but then... I'm really not PC, anyway.

I don't see anything objectionable about your attitude. It's not mine - some different wiring in there - but it's off from mine by degrees, not magnitudes.

 

[Jenna]

I enjoy the fighting but not the drama that comes with it because I don't enjoy drama. I get a feel of adrenaline and excitement when I fight that I wouldn't get from other outlets. Not until I began sparring more often anyway, point sparring is not something I really enjoy but when we get into heavier stuff that is when I have a lot of fun.

Thank you for posting your views.. can I ask you a question please? Drama aside is there a scale of acceptability in that feeling of adrenaline or excitement you mention? You know what I mean, a sliding scale? or is it simple black and white, like just plain wrong / wrongminded / immoral and ought to be avoided or at least regretted afterwards? Thank you

 

[Jenna]

... and... since this happened last year, if I'm hanging out with said wife, our friends etc... nd alcohol is involved, and some typical bar goombah wants to start something, just won't leave it alone and swings.... Hmmm. That guy gets what he deserved. And yes, it still felt good.

I apologize if my personal outlook isn't PC, but then... I'm really not PC, anyway.

Thank you JP3 for taking time to note down your thoughts.. I like to ask you about this where you say it still felt good.. how do you feel about admitting that? that is the thing that cause you to say not PC? Hope that question make sense

 

[Jenna]

As for why I like fights (sparring, or fighting), it's a combination of two things. The first is the intellectual part. This applies more to sparring, but gauging the opponents abilities, what they're good/bad at, and creating a plan accordingly is fun and a challenge for me. The second part is the adrenaline rush, and uncertainty of it. I can know for a fact that I am technically a better fighter than someone, but there is still that uncertainty of who will win, and that along with the adrenaline rush is probably one of the most exciting things I've ever experienced. It's a challenge for me not to fight...I am aware of the possible negative consequences, which keep me from it, but I also miss rush that I got from it, which I haven't been able to recreate in any other environments.

I actively avoid getting into fights (outside sparring) now, and haven't gotten into one in years, but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss it. The only part i don't miss is the after-fight jitters, and even those I see through rose-colored glasses.

Thank you for writing specially since your view deviate from perhaps what I perceive as orthodox maybe.. It was suggested further up ^ that anyone looking for a fight needs to take a serious look inward, how would you respond to that? You know this term moral compass? where is your moral compass with regard to liking fights as you have said? thank you.. is appreciated

 

[Rayrob]

Many years ago I filled my fuel tank and drove about five miles down the road. Just as I was about to turn right a truck rammed into the back of my car with such force that it flattened the rear of the car and chopped off the top of the fuel tank. As I pulled myself upright ( the seat back had snapped) I could see the road alight for about 50 yards behind me. I jumped out of the car as it was coming to a halt and stood there looking at the aftermath.

You may by now be wondering what the hell this has to do with fighting. Well the feeling of elation at getting out alive and relatively unscathed is the same as I feel after a fight. On that day I was buzzing.