Where would you take a girl out on a first date?

[bluekey88]

I duuno...PBr might xcome across as pretentious. I prefer something like Iron City.

On a more serious note, this has been a very insightful read. Good stuff. Here's hyoping the date went well.

Peace,
Erik

 

[Jenny_in_Chico]

Thanks, I misunderstood. My apologies.
The thing is, when you give the flower
you shouldn't have the look on your face that you are giving it to get into her knickers.. It's my way of overcoming shyness on a first date

If I agree to a date with a man then I want him to try to get into my knickers. Doesn't mean he will succeed, it just means that I expect a creditable attempt will be made. Otherwise my miniscule self esteem will suffer.

 

[Bruno@MT]

If I agree to a date with a man then I want him to try to get into my knickers. Doesn't mean he will succeed, it just means that I expect a creditable attempt will be made. Otherwise my miniscule self esteem will suffer.

Of course.

So we have to try, but in a tasteful way, without actually 'trying'... right? More like creating circumstances that might lead to it, with you determining how much you want to make us jump through hoops and pretending you really have no idea that that's what we are trying to do, just to make it more confusing and putting us on the wrong foot as much as possible

Is that about it? (why do I have the feeling that the answer will be: 'maybe, sometimes, but not always )

 

[Jenny_in_Chico]

Of course.

So we have to try, but in a tasteful way, without actually 'trying'... right? More like creating circumstances that might lead to it, with you determining how much you want to make us jump through hoops and pretending you really have no idea that that's what we are trying to do, just to make it more confusing and putting us on the wrong foot as much as possible

Is that about it? (why do I have the feeling that the answer will be: 'maybe, sometimes, but not always )

You hit the nail on the head.

If there is one piece of advice I would offer to all men, everywhere, it would be "Never ask to kiss a woman. Just do it."

 

[Bruno@MT]

If there is one piece of advice I would offer to all men, everywhere, it would be "Never ask to kiss a woman. Just do it."

I agree. Asking or talking about it only makes things awkward.
Though... the trick is knowing -when- to kiss. Too soon or at the wrong moment, and you'll embarass yourself. Waiting too long and the moment is gone. And of course, very little cues to go by. It's not easy for the typical male, this romance stuff. It took me long enough to figure it out.

Somehow I got married though. I must have done something right.

Sometime ago my told me that when I was wooing her and taking her out, she'd already decided we would be a couple. It just took me some time to get up to speed. While I was nervously trying to figure out how to proceed, I was being led, like a mouse in a maze. To her it was 6 weeks of fun, for me 6 weeks of dread and joy. Joy at the fact that she was still going out with me, dread that it would all go pear shaped at the last moment. 6 weeks may seem long time to build up to the first kiss, but we didn't really know much about each other so we went out several weekends in a row (on the most ridiculous pretexts), getting to know each other

 

[Bruno@MT]

I just saw these earlier today. The scary thing is that there are actually guys like this. I mean I may not -understand- women, but at least I know enough by now to avoid the more deadly mistakes.

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[Jenny_in_Chico]

Hah, Bruno, those were AWESOME! I remember the first year I was married, my husband (now ex-husband) gave me a book about poverty in Central Africa for Christmas. I was under-whelmed, to say the least.

 

[d1jinx]

take her to the Porn Palace Mega Plex. if she's game....:uhyeah:

 

[Bruno@MT]

Hah, Bruno, those were AWESOME! I remember the first year I was married, my husband (now ex-husband) gave me a book about poverty in Central Africa for Christmas. I was under-whelmed, to say the least.

Wow. I'd comment on that, but words are failing me. I don't think words exist for this situation.

Granted, the giving of gifts is perceived differently between men and women, but this situation does not compute.

For men, the value is mostly in the gift itself. For women, (in my experience) the gift is also in the consideration you put into it + the difficulty of obtaining it. This is also why my wife likes getting flower(s) now and again. Not because of the flowers themselves (she could've bought them herself) but because it shows her that I thought about giving her something + I had to go out of my way and get them + I show that I want to make her happy.

So looking at your gift example
1) it has no intrinsic value.
2) unless you had a very specific tie to the book's topic (which I gues you didn't) no thinking went into that gift.
3) it was not difficult to acquire

The only rationalization I can think of is
1) he wanted to point out that he thinks christmas is a commercialized waste of money and that you should be aware that there are others who have nothing and that they could use the money you'd waste. I could understand that point, but
1.1) In that case, he should have broached that subject beforehand (my wife and I discussed most issues before we even moved in together to see if we had a future together) and not been pedantic about it.
1.2) Even if that was his opinion, if yours wasn't then he could still have spent a trivial amount of money, just because it was obviously important to you.
1.3) All of the above points to the fact that he either wanted to get rid of you or did not consider your feelings important, both of which defies the point of getting married.
2) He was a clueless dumbass (no offense).

Sorry. I tend to overanalyze.

 

[Jenny_in_Chico]

LOL!

He wasn't completely clueless. I had done biological research in Central Africa, and the poverty there had profoundly changed my perception of the world. So it wasn't a thoughtless gift. It was just a completely unromantic gift. Women want gifts that send the message "I love you, I think you're sexy and amazing, I would be a dead man without you." So even though we may want a better vacuum cleaner, we don't want it from our husbands on our anniversary or birthday or Christmas. We want jewelry, perfume, beautiful items of clothing that we would feel guilty or shy about buying ourselves, or a puppy. The puppy gift never fails.

I have to admit I was just as bad about gift buying when I first married. I bought gifts that I wanted him to have, rather than what he would have chosen for himself. But now I've learned, and I take myself out of the equation when I'm shopping. Now I think "Electronics, computers, sparring gear, guns..." So the next man I have will be a very lucky man.

 

[Ken Morgan]

But now I've learned, and I take myself out of the equation when I'm shopping. Now I think "Electronics, computers, sparring gear, guns..." So the next man I have will be a very lucky man.

Whoa....Hmmmm....a five day commute, one way...hmmmm......3500km from Toronto to LA.....hmmm......