What would your Martial Art do?

[David43515]

So many of you just aren`t getting into the spirit of the game here. What`s the uber-hard stereotype for your style?

I suppose that drawing on all those years of arm conditioning and blocking drills I`d use my concrete-like forearms to pummel the gun out of his hand, defflecting any stray rounds with circular motion. Then using classical whirlwind stepping I`d slip below his arm and pivot either to his side or behind him (depending on how much forward momentum he had) and continue with a rib crushing elbow that drops him over my horse stance. I`d finish him off with a few well placed pheonix eye fists to his vital points so that he dies a slow and painful death 30 years from now and I`d run off before the local authorities arrive. Everyone knows that you can`t trust those bastiges because they`re all in league with the foreign devils in Peking. RESTORE THE MING AND OVERTHROW THE CH`ING!!!

 

[Indagator]

Meh. I'd lazily gnaw at his face until he grew tired of the whole exercise and went home to eat cereal in his skivvies while watching daytime TV.
After several months the confusion would slowly permeate his very essence of being, at which time he will be propelled uncontrollably into a life crisis of overwhelming proportions, during which time he spends most of his time analysing his sense of purpose and direction.
Soon, in his late forties with an estranged wife and seven hungry children he never sees demanding maintenance payments and alimonies, he will be struck down by an unanticipated epiphany: mugging people at the ATM is a bad direction to have taken in life.
Spurred on by this incredible new enlightenment, he will begin to labour furiously day and night until finally three weeks shy of his seventy-fifth birthday - he finally constructs a functional time travelling device.
He uses the device to return to that moment, confront his younger self like the ghost of Christmas future and return my $10.00.
Upon this event reaching it's eventual climax, I cease gnawing on the younger attacker's face and use my $10.00 to buy some authentic pizza.

Yum.

 

[SavageMan]

I know it's an old thread but I can't resist. I would have to start by showing the gunman my Law Enforcement ID to which he would view and start to tremble with fear from the mere presence of an authority figure. He would then hand over the gun to me rather than risk an excessive use of force at which time I would use it to pistol whip him with. If that didn't work I would do what all my television heroes would have done. Stick my finger in the barrel!

 

[Cyriacus]

I know it's an old thread but I can't resist. I would have to start by showing the gunman my Law Enforcement ID to which he would view and start to tremble with fear from the mere presence of an authority figure. He would then hand over the gun to me rather than risk an excessive use of force at which time I would use it to pistol whip him with. If that didn't work I would do what all my television heroes would have done. Stick my finger in the barrel!

I thought Hed run away, and Youd yell "POLICE!" And Hed fall to the ground in terror, dropping His Weapon.

 

[Gnarlie]

Seeing as my style is WTF Taekwondo, I'd pull out my phone and engage him in a Youtube comment flame war on the 'street' effectiveness of sport Taekwondo, about how everything comes from Karate anyway, how MMA is 'teh deadly', and why I spar with my hands down. Then, while he was still reeling from that, I'd blindfold myself, have him ring a little bell near his head, crescent kick the piece (which he would still be holding out) out of his hand, and 720 degree spin kick the mother across the chops, breaking 3 x 1 inch boards in the process. Then once he was unconscious / in awe of my kicking prowess, I'd use his hand to sign a lengthy and expensive contract with my Mcdojo, where he would get a free uniform, and the 6 year old Black Belt instructor would make him learn only street useless sport techniques too. Alternatively, I could dessicate him with a gust of dry sarcasm and bitterness.

 

[Cyriacus]

Seeing as my style is WTF Taekwondo, I'd pull out my phone and engage him in a Youtube comment flame war on the 'street' effectiveness of sport Taekwondo, about how everything comes from Karate anyway, how MMA is 'teh deadly', and why I spar with my hands down. Then, while he was still reeling from that, I'd blindfold myself, have him ring a little bell near his head, crescent kick the piece (which he would still be holding out) out of his hand, and 720 degree spin kick the mother across the chops, breaking 3 x 1 inch boards in the process. Then once he was unconscious / in awe of my kicking prowess, I'd use his hand to sign a lengthy and expensive contract with my Mcdojo, where he would get a free uniform, and the 6 year old Black Belt instructor would make him learn only street useless sport techniques too. Alternatively, I could dessicate him with a gust of dry sarcasm and bitterness.

Your kick in the ribs to Youtube Comments just made my Evening

 

[Kong Soo Do]

Strike him so hard in the solar plexus with my pinky that one hundred years from now his great-great-great grandson will be walking down the street and suddenly double up while yelling, "DAMN...what the heck was that!"

Or

Use the force.

Or

Have a flashback to my childhood where I learned a pithy saying and some 'old man on mountain' wisdom.

 

[Tez3]

MMA? We'd probably be the one doing the hold up. So the anti MMA lot say....

 

[Daniel Sullivan]

Firstly, I almost never use an ATM. I get cash back at the grocery store. On the rare occasion that I do use an ATM, I never get out of my car and I keep the doors locked. Before I use an ATM, I always look for people hanging around and will go elsewhere if there are. Once I am using it, I keep an eye out for what is going on around me. Should an individual approach, he will either be at the passenger side or I will see him approach from the front or rear of the car. If he approaches from the passenger side, he will have to get my attention, as my window is up and my doors are locked. If he approaches from the front or rear, I will, as I said, see him coming before he is close with the gun.

SO, I simply roll up my driver side window while (the passenger side never is opened, as I have A/C and heat) as I bring the engine up to about 5000 rpm and dump the clutch. If he does not have his gun out, but looks like trouble, I simply leave him in a cloud of smoke and find another ATM. If is coming from behind and is brandishing the pistol, I use gyaku kuruma uchi to strike him with the monouchi of my rear bumper. I could then perform haya suburi, but would probably simply continue past him and, showing zanshin, be prepared to strike again with the front of my car now facing him. If he appears to still be a threat, I use sho kuruma uchi, striking with the monouchi of my front bumper, going past him about two car lengths and then turning and engaging reverse (again, showing zanshin). If he raises his pistol again, then I will execute another gyaku kuruma uchi, passing up to the point that the front tires come to rest on him. I then place the car into first gear, reving to 5000 RPM and dumping the clutch.

Kurumajutsu

Flawless victory.

 

[MA-Caver]

I'd turn calmly to the guy and say "hey stupid... why don't you wait til AFTER I draw the money out of the machine to rob me ? But honestly fellah, I know times are hard, the economy is so bad that a obviously nice guy like you is having to resort to crime because there are no jobs to be had and a man of your talents is being wasted and I can understand that it's awfully depressing, why, I'm there myself and am just checking the pitiful balance in my own bank account because I'm out of work and have been for the past 8 months. Tell ya what let me get what few bucks I got in this here bank and I'll buy us both a drink and we can drown our sorrows while we listen to each other's stories of woe and desperation savvy?".... (vocal courtesy of Capt. Jack Sparrow)

essentially boring the poor bastard to death...

 

[shesulsa]

Five-step palm exploding heart technique.

 

[Josh Oakley]

Um... take his gun, slap him, then urinate on him. It's all about establishing dominance with these clowns.