Training your own Kids

[Dijos]

A question for parents out there-do you train your kids? Do you prefer someone else train them? Same art, or different art? When did you start them?

I feel that I'll be really happy to pass on my art to my son, but it's mostly knife, and he's 4, and lives with his mom in another state, so it's waiting for now. I'm wondering if your kids have expressed interest, or have no interest, or any story you care to relate.

Thanks, Joe

 

[Ceicei]

My two older kids are into martial arts too. We take American Kenpo. I did help a few times to teach them some moves, but they were very resistant to having me in that role. It's just easier for them to have someone else teach rather than me. My third child, wants to be into martial arts. She's only 3, so when she turns four, I'll sign her up for the Mom&Tot American Kenpo class and will be working with her. I'm sure that once she gets old enough to join the junior class, she'll want to cut loose.

- Ceicei

 

[Chronuss]

...I personally don't think I could ever teach my own children if ever I have any....cause I'd kill them...

 

[arnisador]

I teach my son and will teach my daughter in a few years. It's challenging but rewarding and he enjoys the time with his father. At some point I think it'll be important to switch him over to someone else at least for part of his training--if nothing else for his own self-confidence.

 

[RHD]

I'm teaching my son. He's 11, and it's definately not easy. It is very hard at times to separate the parental side from the teacher. We've made good progress however, and the kid is getting a start in my system much earlier than I did.
Mike

 

[loki09789]

I have been training off and on my son, now 11, for a few years now. It is tough because kids NEVER believe/listen to Dad as well as they do their hockey coach (I told him to skate in weaves, but when the coach says it.... anyway), but the nice thing that can happen to help the parent/child relationship is when you as parent and instructor are validated.

He wanted to go to his friends one day a month 'bring a friend to karate class' session. His friend didn't show, but he took the class anyway. I was proud as can be because he behaved perfectly, worked hard and was technically heads and shoulders above any of the kids in the class - a green belt class at that. Heck, he looked as good as the junior black belt assisting the class.

Afterwards, he said 'I don't want to train there, they aren't that good.' I tried not to beam too much, and told him to realize that his training was one on one and very different from a whole class.

It's nice when they say 'I told you so' for you, and they don't even know it.

In reality it was the private instruction format and the intuitive knowledge that a parent has that made the difference, not me as the worlds best teacher, but was nice letting him experience and compare. Through that comparison he understood that what we were doing was good and something he could be proud of, even there aren't other people to see it (which, developmentally, is a big thing in kids for a long time).

Paul M.

 

[Thesemindz]

See also

http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12678

and

http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12595

and

http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9972



-Rob

 

[Cryozombie]

If I ever have kids, (Which is unlikley)

And If I am ever qualified to teach (Which is unlikely)

I would teach them when they were old enough... However, I would probably ALSO have them learn the art from another teacher... Kinda the double whammy.

 

[Cthulhu]

My daughter is too young right now, but in a year or so, I'll begin teaching her stick stuff from FMA and empty-hand stuff from both Okinawa-te and FMA. I don't plan on getting heavily into blade stuff until she's older (and she shows continued interest).

Cthulhu

 

[Ty K. Doe]

If it is something my kids are interested in, I feel it's a great way to spend time with them.

I would feel like a bad parent if I didn't take an interest with them.

 

[James Kovacich]

A question for parents out there-do you train your kids? Do you prefer someone else train them? Same art, or different art? When did you start them?

I feel that I'll be really happy to pass on my art to my son, but it's mostly knife, and he's 4, and lives with his mom in another state, so it's waiting for now. I'm wondering if your kids have expressed interest, or have no interest, or any story you care to relate.

Thanks, Joe

I think that both training your kids and having someone elase training them is the way to go. We know whats best for our kids but we don't know it all.

 

[Nightingale]

Personally, I'd say train them if you want, and if they're okay with that, but don't rank them. Let your instructor, or someone who outranks you in your system give them their rank. that way, nobody can ever say they only have rank because their daddy gave it to them.

 

[James Kovacich]

Personally, I'd say train them if you want, and if they're okay with that, but don't rank them. Let your instructor, or someone who outranks you in your system give them their rank. that way, nobody can ever say they only have rank because their daddy gave it to them.

And what if it was Mommy who ranked them? Seriously though, students or students parents shouldn't be jealous of their teachers kids. I know that I've shown my daughter a lot of "real world" "to the point" self defense in a "fast track format" which others would get in time.

Its not preferntial treatment. Its just with our kids, we don't have to stay within the "class structure" when teaching them. So they should excel, like most Sensei kids do.

I want to add that my daughters cert. is from and signed by Hanshi as all of my personal students are.

 

[Nightingale]

And what if it was Mommy who ranked them? Seriously though, students or students parents shouldn't be jealous of their teachers kids. I know that I've shown my daughter a lot of "real world" "to the point" self defense in a "fast track format" which others would get in time.

Its not preferntial treatment. Its just with our kids, we don't have to stay within the "class structure" when teaching them. So they should excel, like most Sensei kids do.

I want to add that my daughters cert. is from and signed by Hanshi as all of my personal students are.

I used the term "daddy" simply because the original poster was male. Regardless of gender, I don't think family members should bestow rank on each other due to the possibility of accusations of favoritism. By all means, teach your kids! Just let someone else sign their certificates so there is no doubt over the genuineness of their abilities.

Unfortunately, there are people out there who get promoted by family members who ought not to have been promoted. I've seen it happen personally, and not only that child, but every other single person having rank under that instructor suffered for it, because this person was out there representing that school wearing a rank he did not earn.

Because things like that do happen, its better, I think, to protect your kids, who HAVE earned their rank, against accusations that they only got it because their parent was their teacher. Let the head of your system or organization rank them.

For the same reason that most school teachers don't want their kids in their classroom... it opens both the teacher and the student to accusations of impropriety over grading. Having an impartial party do the grading removes that issue.

 

[James Kovacich]

I used the term "daddy" simply because the original poster was male. Regardless of gender, I don't think family members should bestow rank on each other due to the possibility of accusations of favoritism. By all means, teach your kids! Just let someone else sign their certificates so there is no doubt over the genuineness of their abilities.

Unfortunately, there are people out there who get promoted by family members who ought not to have been promoted. I've seen it happen personally, and not only that child, but every other single person having rank under that instructor suffered for it, because this person was out there representing that school wearing a rank he did not earn.

Because things like that do happen, its better, I think, to protect your kids, who HAVE earned their rank, against accusations that they only got it because their parent was their teacher. Let the head of your system or organization rank them.

For the same reason that most school teachers don't want their kids in their classroom... it opens both the teacher and the student to accusations of impropriety over grading. Having an impartial party do the grading removes that issue.

I think somewhat along those lines for all of my students. But even though my certs. come from Hanshi, they are based on my instruction and my decisions (pass or fail).

 

[Shinzu]

i say if they are interested in training, then train them.

you will wind up pushing them harder because they are your kids, so be careful as to not discourage them completely.

 

[Ty K. Doe]

Just let someone else sign their certificates so there is no doubt over the genuineness of their abilities.

When it comes to rank promotion and testing, we use a committee of black belts. I was under the impression that this was pretty commonplace. Anyway, this would help resolve doubt on the genuineness question.

If your a student yourself and not an instructor I don't think the genuineness question would come into play at all.

Maybe, I got this from watching too many movies, but I thought in the old days a martial art was kept in the family. If that was the case, they had no problems teaching their kids.