Your kids first dojo should be at home

[Jimmythebull]

It’s better when you’re not alone. You’ll see someday.

Steve are you spying on me ?

 

[Steve]

Steve, first I don't romanticize these cultures. There is a lot of messed up thinking in some of these old warrior cultures. Some good, some bad, like all cultures.

Second, my life isn't what you might be imagining. At times I spend extended periods of time with people who would have more in common with rural communities in Poland during WW2, rather than the modern suburbs of America.

I am intentionally and unintentionally way out of touch and out of step with how you think I should view the world to be a well adjusted human being.

You’re still fixating on the wrong stuff. If it helps, I’m not actually all that interested in your background. I remarked on your fantasy only because it was a shaky foundation for the bulk of your post.

 

[Jared Traveler]

You’re still fixating on the wrong stuff. If it helps, I’m not actually all that interested in your background. I remarked on your fantasy only because it was a shaky foundation for the bulk of your post.

Apparently you are smarter than me, because I don't get your point still.

 

[Jared Traveler]

You’re still fixating on the wrong stuff. If it helps, I’m not actually all that interested in your background. I remarked on your fantasy only because it was a shaky foundation for the bulk of your post.

Actually it's relevant when you are making assessment of what I should value culturally, based on assumptions about what it takes to exist in my world. Not all cultures work everywhere. My kids have existed in environments suburban kids will never dream of.

It's easy to disparage cultures of the past, but honestly most modern people could not survive a year in their shoes. The way people thought and what they valued in the past can be very important in my life. I'm sorry if, to you, it seems antiquated.

This is relevant to the topic, because it relates to the fact that you have a responsibility to teach your kids what you think they should know about many topics. That's the beauty of family, you can teach them to devalue things that I choose to teach my kids to value.

 

[mograph]

If a parent doesn't know how to defend themselves, they shouldn't be teaching the kids how to do that.

My father was a machinist by trade, and he taught me how to be handy. He taught me things he knew. But he never had to defend himself, and didn't know how, so he never taught me. However, he taught me enough values that have allowed me to spot potential fights and avoid them. He didn't teach me this explicitly, but implicitly through a sense of fairness.

It's a mistake to think that all men (or all women) know how to defend themselves.
It's a mistake to think that all parents are good teachers. All that we can be sure about any parent is that
It's also a mistake to think that everyone thinks as we do.

Yes, do eventually enroll them in a quality program, but I think it should start in the home.

Your thoughts?

The relationship between a parent and child may or may not allow for productive teaching in this context, in a physical sense. There are power dynamics in different parent-child relationships of which we are not aware, so we should not assume that physical interaction between a child and parent would always form a good foundation for a martial arts education, or even prepare the kid for bullying without there possibly being negative repercussions to the parent-child relationship.

While I agree that enrolling in a program would be beneficial, I do not agree that it's always a good idea to simulate physical confrontation in a home environment. It would work for some kids, not for others. Maybe it would work better between some siblings.

You asked for our thoughts.

 

[Jimmythebull]

siblings.

not everyone gets on with their siblings. A father figure is just that a father figure. in most cases a sibling has not the maturity & experience.

 

[Jared Traveler]

If a parent doesn't know how to defend themselves, they shouldn't be teaching the kids how to do that.

Thanks for the well thought out response. Regarding this part of your comment, I believe parents can learn a few simple things. You don't have to be an expert or even proficient to teach something useful.

If you want your kids to value personal protection, you should take some interest in it yourself as a parent. Even if you are just teaching your kid when to shove someone away from them, it's significant.

 

[Jimmythebull]

you do actually get the parents who are or think they are on a higher intelligence level & so try to tell their children to never use violence even if they are punched in the mouth. I feel sorry for these kids as they experience in most cases a pretty rough childhood being bullied.

 

[Oily Dragon]

Gerry i have my Raging bull suit. if people want to play computer games..fine but just don´t have a narrow mind thinking you can learn from a computer game....honestly guys

Most learning today is done using computer games. Kids today learn all sorts of critical and navigational skills from games.

Studies have shown gamers are the best, safest drivers, too.

You're playing a computer game right now. You even have an avatar.

 

[Jimmythebull]

You're playing a computer game right now.

not like one guy was talking about. personally i learned map reading & navigation from orienteering. running & map reading which helped me later on in the military.

 

[Steve]

Apparently you are smarter than me, because I don't get your point still.

I’m not trying to be coy. It’s all there. I’m on a phone now but if I have time later today with a keyboard, I can try and explicitly connect some dots for you. I just can’t post that much information on a little iPhone keypad.

But I also think if you can get past your reaction to my observation about the 50s fantasy, and read the rest of the post, it’s there and pretty clear.

 

[Oily Dragon]

I don't see a problem with a parent doing this if they're relatively experienced, which may be the point of this thread, the OP feels they are, so this thread is probably geared toward the "parent with years of MA experience" crowd.

Not that taking your kids to a formal class (if it's good) is ever a bad idea. Gets them out of the house, at least. If I had any kids I'd probably throw them in a school for at least a year or two, as long as it checked out.

 

[Jimmythebull]

I don't see a problem with a parent doing this if they're relatively experienced, which may be the point of this thread, the OP feels they are, so this thread is probably geared toward the "parent with years of MA experience" crowd.

Not that taking your kids to a formal class (if it's good) is ever a bad idea. Gets them out of the house, at least. If I had any kids I'd probably throw them in a school for at least a year or two, as long as it checked out.

seeing that this is a martial arts forum let´s not forget that back in the day in a lot of systems like escrima techniques were passed down from father to son(s). always was that way but good post Oily Dragon.

 

[Jared Traveler]

I’m not trying to be coy. It’s all there. I’m on a phone now but if I have time later today with a keyboard, I can try and explicitly connect some dots for you. I just can’t post that much information on a little iPhone keypad.

But I also think if you can get past your reaction to my observation about the 50s fantasy, and read the rest of the post, it’s there and pretty clear.

Yes I can get past it. I'm looking forward to hearing more of your opinion. I think there is definitely room for various options on this topic.

 

[skribs]

if people want to play computer games..fine but just don´t have a narrow mind thinking you can learn from a computer game

Do you know what "narrow mind" means?

From Merriam-Webster: not willing to accept opinions, beliefs, behaviors, etc. that are unusual or different from one's own
Or, since you've said you're British, let's use Oxford: not willing to listen to new ideas or to the opinions of others

You're the one being narrow-minded. You're literally projecting onto others when you disregard their opinions and then call them "narrow-minded' for daring to have a different opinion.

not "mock" Gerry ... disagree with it. please don´t twist it.

This is a tactic I see used by bullies all the time. You insult someone and then say you're not being insulting, and act like it's their fault for being insulted. You clearly were mocking. Which is why I was so disrespectful to you - because if you're not going to show respect, why should I? On top of that, you brought it up in this thread, which has nothing to do with the previous thread. Speaking of which...

I think we need to get back on topic here. Not talk about video games. Honestly if i showed this threads to some of my mates they would die laughing.

It's quite literally your fault that we're talking about the video game discussion, because you brought it into this thread. I said you were projecting before. Now you're just being 100% a hypocrite. Not to mention how rude you are about it.

When asked about whether you did anything for fun, you decided to make a sex joke. That shows your level of maturity. You knew you were being called out for being a hypocrite, and your defense was to act like a teenager. If you want to be taken seriously, maybe you should behave like it.

 

[Jimmythebull]

bullies

oh now you´re insulting me...grow up.

 

[JowGaWolf]

I am often asked by parents where they should enroll their kids in martial arts. Typically this is for the purpose of self-protection. My answer has typically become, this:
First start a home gym or dojo. Get a cardboard box or plastic tub, buy a couple boxing gloves and designate a space for training.

Of course most people asking me aren't trained martial artists, and aren't capable of teaching a quality class. But I think that is fine initially for kids. Because what I think is important is that they under that martial arts for the purpose of self-defense is not like any other hobby. If you want your kid to value self-defense, you need to communicate that it is a family value. It should start in the home.

I'm not saying you have to be responsible for seriously developing them technically. Even something as simple as pushing a bully back, or even just teaching them that they can get hit and keep fighting is valuable.

Yes, do eventually enroll them in a quality program, but I think it should start in the home.

Your thoughts?

For me self defense started at home with my kids. Keep in mind that my definition about self defense expands beyond physically fighting. Action taken to ensure one's safety against another human is what I see as self- defense. This would include both physical and non physical interactions. I integrate my son into the family self defense expectations. For fighting purposes the sooner he can train against another the better.

 

[skribs]

oh now you´re insulting me...grow up.

No. You are being a bully. Your attitude is rude and insulting, and you take 0 responsibility for it.

You are everything martial arts should stand against.

 

[Jimmythebull]

No. You are being a bully. Your attitude is rude and insulting, and you take 0 responsibility for it.

You are everything martial arts should stand against.

how ironic. do you think before you post?
you don´t like my opinions ..good but i´m correct. your "Mortal combat" is for me of no relevance to real fighting and you´re clearly showing immaturity in your comments

 

[skribs]

how ironic. do you think before you post?
you don´t like my opinions ..good but i´m correct. your "Mortal combat" is for me of no relevance to real fighting and you´re clearly showing immaturity in your comments

How would it be ironic if I didn't think before I post? Since my post had nothing about thinking before you post, and everything about your attitude.

I took responsibility for what I said. In the other thread, when the moderators said we were getting out of hand, I took responsibility for my part of that and backed off. You, on the other hand, have continued it not only in that thread, but this one as well. Then tried to scold us for being off-topic, when you started us on that rabbit trail in the first place.

I didn't bring up Mortal Kombat, others did. I brought up Starcraft. If you're going to claim to be correct, at least get the facts correct. Then we can worry about your opinions.

My issue is not with your opinion. You are free to think that video games are not helpful in real life. You are incorrect in that thinking, but that's besides the point. What my issue is with is how you present that opinion. Instead of discussing the idea of building a game around easy wins vs. working on fundamentals, you decided to mock me and everyone else who dares to play video games. Then act like you weren't being rude. Then bring it up in other threads that my opinions on other subjects are invalid because I play video games.

Maybe you should think before you post. Maybe you'll come up with a coherent insult. Maybe you won't look like a hypocrite. Maybe you'll find something to actually talk about instead of just slinging insults. Maybe you'll realize "there's no point in posting in this thread." Maybe you'll find some way to be a decent person instead of just a troll.