still learning said:
Hello, Always travel in groups and let each other know if something does happen ,we will stay as a group.
Victims act like victims will become victims. Do not act stuff and always remember when someone is aggressive in there tone of behavior..think of it as an interview ( they want to know how you are going to behave). If you act scare...they will escalate it. Don't yell back or let your EGO's /pride get in the way. Know when to be silent
Talk regular and be nice and leave. Have a mature tone and actions.
If they sense you will fight back...if you are attack...by seeing your not scare face....they may back off.
Bullies do not want to get hurt....buts wants to hurt you.......READ VERBAL JUDO.......this will help......................Aloha
Some good advice.
Keep in mind, the kind of aggression illustrated in the video is designed to humiliate the victim and improve the standing of the perpetrator in front of his friends. He won't pick someone he likely might lose to in order to serve that purpose, as losing would be counter-productive. In other words, they don't really want a fight. They will fight if you are an easy mark (predator) AND they will fight if they feel you've attacked their ego in front of their friends (Defensive-i.e. defending their ego).
I've found that being respectful to others, while maintaining respect for yourself and a certain amount of assertiveness will avert many fights. You can be assertive AND respectful. Simply when asserting yourself, don't make it a contest between you and them.
I knew a guy who always threatened to hold down and bleed all over anyone who was trying to pick a fight with him (I figured the moron got that from Fight Club). Oddly enough, it worked. They usually avoided any further confrontation.
Humor is also a good tool to break the ice. In fact, doing anything but engaging in the back and forth 'Ram Dance' that usually preceeds these type of confrontations is a good start.
If you'll even notice, no one usually walks up and starts hitting someone else, unless they have a particular reason to be mad at that person. If they are trying to pick a fight for the sole purpose of proving their 'manhood' to their 'mates', they'll usually feel out potential victims with some taunts and rude behavior, to see their reaction.
This happens in prison, and how it does will illustrate a point. In prison, another prisoner will usually approach a new inmate and potential mark, maybe at the cafeteria. They'll ask if they can have a food item. Or ask if they can 'have something'. If the new guy is so intimidated as to give in, he's seen as a mark. If he stands his ground, he's far better off, even if that leads to a fight. If he's shown he's willing to fight in order NOT to be a mark, the other inmates grant him some respect.
I'm not saying fight. I AM saying be willing to fight if it comes to that, though, if you stand your ground and DON'T act like a mark (i.e. try to appease the bully) they may just leave you alone. Usually the best time to set your boundaries is right at the beginning.
Don't just stand there and hide when they yell some taunt at you from across the way. At least acknowledge that you've been insulted. Show them you refuse to simply allow rude behavior. I usually make eye-contact with someone directly taunting me. If you avoid looking at them, they know you're a mark.
If they taunt you, tell them a joke, make it funny. Do something bizarre. Humor and bizarre behavior has gotten me out of a few fights. If you make them laugh AND/OR they think you're certifiably insane, they'll leave you alone. Smile a lot, don't look nervous. Smile at everything, laugh a lot, especially at inappropriate times. If they're about to beat you, laugh hysterically. If they do hit you, laugh even harder.
One more thing....Don't get drunk around that kind of crowd. If you're sober, and they're drunk, you'll have the drop on them if it comes to a physical altercation. Hit fast, hit hard. If they're intoxicated and you're sober, you'll be faster than most of them will be, the drunker they are the better.
tho it's best to not go in the first place!!!
