So I'm kind of confused what to do here.

[JowGaWolf]

maybe its less your fault you hurt the partner, than his.
how does he want to teach you the control? by stopping techniques right before a pad or bag? than its fine. by just doing techniques into the air? uhm... not surprising then.
also this is a fight sport, so things like that happen. i didn't always blame others when they accidently hit me hard.

I practice tons of techniques in the air. The benefit is that I can swing or kick as hard as I can without any regrets or concerns that I will break my wrist or hand. Heavy bags and pads are used for impact conditioning.

 

[Ironbear24]

I've seen mcdojos before. We have no children black belts. We use heavy contact on technique drills, the phrase "anti grappling" is never used here. The costs are not an arm and a leg, he does not think he style is invincible and urges others to be taken note of and even practiced.

None of these say mcdojo, I have never once looked at this place and thought mcdojo, I will admit I had my doubts about the whole king fu style wearing Japanese gi's , but that was when I was misinformed.

It is not Chinese martial arts and it is not Japanese martial arts, it is a mix of both, mainly Tracy kenpo and animal forms such as bear ( a grappling art and trapping art using lots of leverage.) And mantis ( an exclusive grappling art.)

I then learned that clothing, means nothing. Gi or no gi or Chinese garbs make zero impact on the quality of what you are learning.

 

[Dirty Dog]

and one shouldn't prohibit someone from sparring (with the explanation its way too early) from one incident. instead one should teach how to do it better. i stick to it: mcdojo.

I guess we're a McDojo then. If I say spar with light contact and you don't, you won't be sparring.
If it was because you lack control, you won't be sparring till you learn control.
If it was because you ignored instructions, then you won't be sparring till you learn to follow instructions.

 

[Spinedoc]

As a medical provider, I'm a little concerned by some of the things you mentioned in your post. Clearly, there is some evidence of depression (decreased self worth, need for external self validation, not caring about others feelings-girlfriend)....

Also, you mention not having a car and not being able to afford the MMA gym? I think perhaps there are other priorities in your life that you should address.

I don't say this to be an ***, or besmirch you, but rather to help you see what others have also said here. Focus on simply being happy and grateful, not amount of external validation will ever but temporarily provide any happiness.

Do you think perhaps you are using the arts as an escape? It would seem that there are larger issues in your life perhaps that you are trying get away from.

If I am wrong about that, then please accept my apologies.

Kindest,

Mike

 

[Azulx]

I guess we're a McDojo then. If I say spar with light contact and you don't, you won't be sparring.
If it was because you lack control, you won't be sparring till you learn control.
If it was because you ignored instructions, then you won't be sparring till you learn to follow instructions.

I must also be at a Mcdojo, because our white belts can't spar, and we have to use control. I can't knockout or kill anyone in my class so I guess I have a McInstructor too.

 

[Ironbear24]

I must also be at a Mcdojo, because our white belts can't spar, and we have to use control. I can't knockout or kill anyone in my class so I guess I have a McInstructor too.

We are all bad and should feel bad.

 

[Grenadier]

Admin's Note:

Please keep this conversation civil. While it's OK to disagree with each other on methodologies, bashing is not permitted in this forum.

 

[Azulx]

@Ironbear24 what type of sparring are you looking for?

 

[Ironbear24]

@Ironbear24 what type of sparring are you looking for?

Heavy contact sparring where takedowns and grappling are ok to use along with all strikes.

 

[MAfreak]

I guess we're a McDojo then. If I say spar with light contact and you don't, you won't be sparring.
If it was because you lack control, you won't be sparring till you learn control.
If it was because you ignored instructions, then you won't be sparring till you learn to follow instructions.

what i meant was if sparring generally isn't allowed until grade xyz or when the teacher blames the student when he didn't teach him well.

@JowGaWolf i never meant that air striking is bullsh*t, but its not for training controlled impacts.

 

[Azulx]

Heavy contact sparring where takedowns and grappling are ok to use along with all strikes.

Let me make sure I understand your context of contact. For me full contact means no gear. Full power means how hard you are hitting. So you are looking for less sparring gear or more power?

 

[JowGaWolf]

what i meant was if sparring generally isn't allowed until grade xyz or when the teacher blames the student when he didn't teach him well.

@JowGaWolf i never meant that air striking is bullsh*t, but its not for training controlled impacts.

oh ok.. sorry for the misunderstanding. I agree with you in reference to sparring isn't allowed until grade xyz comment. I find that it's better to get students sparring as soon as possible since they are much weaker in the beginning than they will be after years of training and punching. A student at my school injured the other instructor (broken rib) due to a lack of control. The student was experienced with the techniques and strong from the training, but only had 4 or 5 sparring sessions total over 4 years. We don't allow him to spar with other students. My alertness and defense is at a high level when I spar with him because I don't know when he'll lose control and hit harder than he should. He tends to lose control as the level of movement increases. He gets caught up in the action of things. When I move fast he'll try to move faster and hit faster and that's when he loses control.

 

[Dirty Dog]

Heavy contact sparring where takedowns and grappling are ok to use along with all strikes.

Really? You want to train somewhere that does full contact and allows all strikes?
You really want to get hurt that bad?

Let me make sure I understand your context of contact. For me full contact means no gear. Full power means how hard you are hitting. So you are looking for less sparring gear or more power?

Full contact means "hit as hard as you want" and has nothing to do with how much gear is worn.

 

[Juany118]

Sorry but I don't agree we all love martial arts but in the end you've got to have more than that. You won't be able to lift weights forever or train 7 days a week forever and when it comes to the time you must stop there'll be no one around you. I'm sorry but those comments about your girlfriend aren't nice at all. If your ignoring her and spending all your time training what do you expect quite honestly. I understand you have goals but that doesn't mean it has to be this way do you think pro fighters are 100 % fighting no they have wives, kids hell the heavyweight champion is stil, working as a firefighter and it seems your instructor is right to not let you spar if the first time you do you injure someone. You say it's not your fault because their smaller than you well that's the whole point of marital arts self control. I'm sure your instructor could put you in hospital easily when showing a technique but he's got the control to not do it which it does see you don't have. Honesty I think you should take a small break

QFT. At a certain point that is.

This year I will officially begin the downward slope to 50. I once had an obsession similar to the OP, but it was with work. I worked my *** off and was assigned to what is seen as an elite unit at my PD, a Narcotics Enforcement/street crimes unit. Unlike Patrol or Detectives we had NO schedule. I would write in a calendar my proposed schedule for the month but could be told "sorry Juany, tomorrow was supposed to be a day off for ya but we need you in at 530 because we finally have enough for that search warrant." I was lucky to see my wife 8 hours a week. I missed so many family gatherings it was silly.

It got to the point where my wife and I had an uncontested divorce decree sitting on the dining room table that just needed to be motorized, signed off on by a Judge and filed with the Court. My Father mailed the Christmas presents to my house with a note that said "since you don't have time for the family." Finally I woke up and said, "I love my job BUT I need people in my life outside of work." To have those people in my life I need to show them respect and that I care, not disinterest. This was 6 years ago when I said to my boss, "I need to go back to the patrol". With hard work my marriage is back on track and I have repaired the relationships with my parents and siblings. I could have said "screw you all, you just don't get it" but I would have been left with only my job for company. Would that lead to a happy life in the long run?

Back to the OP's point about his MA. One of the reasons for waiting till sparring is because it's not just about being able to execute the moves, it's about being able to do them with enough control that you minimize the injury done to your partner and yourself. I don't know how your Sifu does testing, but after our first test, my Sifu has no issue on your second to allow you to test for multiple levels at once if he judges you are ready. Just last week I watched him allow a student test for 3 levels.

As for pumping iron and strength, it really is dependent on the art imo. All MAs do indeed benefit from strength BUT some arts, because of the techniques employed, see diminishing returns on different curves. In looking at the principles of a chosen Art one may find that spending more time on flexibility, speed work, even Yang style Tai Chi to develop a more relaxed and subtle movement can have higher returns. Recently I found that Yang Style Tai Chi, in a suprisingly short period of time to improve my performance in both WC and Inosanto Kali, and there we are just talking your basic YMCA in the park Tai Chi class, because both arts require a "flow" that Yang style is all about.

 

[Ironbear24]

Let me make sure I understand your context of contact. For me full contact means no gear. Full power means how hard you are hitting. So you are looking for less sparring gear or more power?

So long as I can wear a cup and a mouth piece I'm good to go. As far as the contact level I want it to be rough.

 

[JR 137]

So long as I can wear a cup and a mouth piece I'm good to go. As far as the contact level I want it to be rough.

Kyokushin karate. YouTube some knockdown championship videos. Or possibly Enshin karate, which is similar but also has throws. YouTube Sabaki Challenge. Enshin is harder to find than Kyokushin. Not sure if this is exactly what you're looking for or if either me is near you, but it's worth looking into IMO.

Or look for a wrestling club. Wrestling is all about mental toughness and keeping at it especially when it gets tough.

I get where you're coming from with all of this. The best and most immediate advice I have is talk to your teacher. Be respectful about it, but politely speak your mind. Don't just leave without having a conversation.

Here's something I learned in my short almost 40 years on this planet...

The only one you should be competing against is yourself. The only one you need to impress or make proud is yourself.

Some people will always be impressed and/or proud of you, no matter what. When I was wrestling (3rd grade all thorough high school), my mother always supported me and was proud of everything I did, even when I flat out sucked or beat people who were horrible. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated it, and her heart was in the right place, but making her proud was a joke to me after a while.

My father never showed me he was proud. He always thought (usually rightfully so) that I could have and should have done better. I so wanted to impress him. He only showed it once for a brief moment when I got my bachelors degree. Looking back, I know he was always proud and it was enough, but it didn't seem that way. No hard feelings toward him either, as his heart was genuinely in the right place, and someone had to balance out my mother.

It hit me at the end of my junior year in high school - who am I out there for, them or me? No matter what the outcome of the match (or anything else), it was always the same. Same with my friends - some were always congratulating me, others were always negative and/or jealous.

I wasn't happy until I said I don't care any more. I wasn't happy until I thought I don't care about being the best nor winning. I was happiest when I realized the only thing I wanted to do was outdo myself. There were people I'd never beat; I stopped getting hung up on trying to beat them, and focused on doing better than I ever thought I could do against them. The scoreboard took care of itself. I wasn't happy beating people who I knew were easy opponents; I focused on trying to wrestle the perfect match by making no mistakes.

I was so much more successful after I came to the realization that the only person I needed to impress was myself. I was so much happier trying to make myself proud rather than my family, friends or coach. I was the only one I had to answer to, and me being satisfied was the only important thing. Everyone had their expectations; I knew when I did better than I thought I could do and worse that I thought I should have. There's no fooling yourself.

Forget about everyone else's expectations; they're not realistic. Focus on outdoing yourself. But always be realistic. I'm not saying you're not the next UFC heavyweight champ, but is that genuinely realistic? If it's not, there's no point in going all out, all day every day and ignoring everyone and everything else around you. If you've got a realistic shot at making millions by fighting, that's another story.

Sorry I'm rambling. It's bed time and my mind wanders a bit.

 

[Juany118]

The only one you should be competing against is yourself. The only one you need to impress or make proud is yourself.

This is absolute truth. The other thing one needs to understand, in the context of the OP, is that his issue seems to be one of "I want this kind of training now." In terms of legitimate/sanctioned schools I can't think of any that allow new students to do full contact striking, little to no pads, sparring. The liability is simply too damn high. All the waivers in the world don't cover that because waivers only absolve someone of accidents and simply negligence. Allowing novices to do full contact sparring with minimal protection, whether we agree with it or not is legally recklessness and willful negligence. Gotta love a litigious society.

 

[Ironbear24]

Sifu wasn't there, today, only his daughter was so I couldn't do anything. I'll talk to him later when he shows up next class.

 

[drop bear]

I guess we're a McDojo then. If I say spar with light contact and you don't, you won't be sparring.
If it was because you lack control, you won't be sparring till you learn control.
If it was because you ignored instructions, then you won't be sparring till you learn to follow instructions.

We just bash people untill they figure it out.

 

[drop bear]

Heavy contact sparring where takedowns and grappling are ok to use along with all strikes.

So are there fight gyms of any sort in your area? Or could you travel one day a week to spar or something?

We have had guys travel 300 ks for sparring sessions.