Reflecting on the dangers

[Headhunter]

Well to say I've had a **** weekend would be an understatement. Last week I met with a friend of mine who I trained with when I first started and he invited me a kickboxing show that his son was fighting in. Now I've known his son since he was born and I hate to say it but his old man was such a pushy parent pushed him into martial arts at a young age and when that happens its not great but not dangerous but he also pushed his kid into fighting which is a very stupid thing to do. His kid was no way cut out to be a fighter. Not being disrespectful because he has good skills but he didn't have the mentality for the sport but his dad pushed him into it and if wasnt good at all the kid got beaten badly the fight should've been stopped but his dad refused to throw the towel his boy was half out of it in his corner but he just told him to suck it up and get out there.

I don't know what the ref or the doctors were playing I was yelling at his dad from the crowd to stop it but it went to the next round didn't go long the kid went down and now he's in hospital with a bleed to the brain. It was a horrible disgusting scene to watch and honestly it's really freaked me out I've seen plenty of bad injuries but non affected me like this maybe because its a kid I've known since he was a baby but man when It happened I had to run out the arena to throw up that had never happened before and it made me think about my own career all the guys I knocked out I could've done serious damage to those guys but back then I didn't give a love I was a kid thinking he was a badass fighting all these guys but in reality I was putting my own life and others lives in danger and this whole situation has really screwed my passion for martial arts even this morning I did my regular workout on the heavy bag and every punch I threw I saw the kid laid out on the canvas and I just couldn't hit with any power because it scared me. Which in turn freaked me out because if I get attacked I may not even have the aggression in me now to do what I need to do.

Hopefully the kids alright but it's been a horrible few days and its made me just feel like saying to any guys who think its cool to fight and to throw down just think of the consequences. Of course any competitor doesn't want that to happen and it's always a huge risk but I think people need to start seeing the consequences of fighting.

Sorry everyone just an old man freaking out I guess but that match screwed with me badly with all the fights I've been a part of or watched or coached or refereed none made me feel like this.

 

[Brian King]

Thanks for posting. Prayers lifted for the young man and his friends and family as well as for the ref and the other fighter.

Which in turn freaked me out because if I get attacked I may not even have the aggression in me now to do what I need to do.

Perhaps, this is a good time to start looking at the perspective of fighting for something rather than against something?

Good luck and let us know how the youngster and his dad are doing.

Regards
Brian King

 

[Buka]

So sad. That would have affected me too.

 

[oftheherd1]

Praying for all involved, including you as this had obviously affected you greatly.

 

[Midnight-shadow]

This is very sad indeed and it makes me wonder what the ref and judges were doing in all this. I thought it was the ref's job to stop the fight if one of the combatants was unable to continue, in order to stop this sort of thing from happening.

 

[Jenna]

Well to say I've had a **** weekend would be an understatement. Last week I met with a friend of mine who I trained with when I first started and he invited me a kickboxing show that his son was fighting in. Now I've known his son since he was born and I hate to say it but his old man was such a pushy parent pushed him into martial arts at a young age and when that happens its not great but not dangerous but he also pushed his kid into fighting which is a very stupid thing to do. His kid was no way cut out to be a fighter. Not being disrespectful because he has good skills but he didn't have the mentality for the sport but his dad pushed him into it and if wasnt good at all the kid got beaten badly the fight should've been stopped but his dad refused to throw the towel his boy was half out of it in his corner but he just told him to suck it up and get out there.

I don't know what the ref or the doctors were playing I was yelling at his dad from the crowd to stop it but it went to the next round didn't go long the kid went down and now he's in hospital with a bleed to the brain. It was a horrible disgusting scene to watch and honestly it's really freaked me out I've seen plenty of bad injuries but non affected me like this maybe because its a kid I've known since he was a baby but man when It happened I had to run out the arena to throw up that had never happened before and it made me think about my own career all the guys I knocked out I could've done serious damage to those guys but back then I didn't give a love I was a kid thinking he was a badass fighting all these guys but in reality I was putting my own life and others lives in danger and this whole situation has really screwed my passion for martial arts even this morning I did my regular workout on the heavy bag and every punch I threw I saw the kid laid out on the canvas and I just couldn't hit with any power because it scared me. Which in turn freaked me out because if I get attacked I may not even have the aggression in me now to do what I need to do.

Hopefully the kids alright but it's been a horrible few days and its made me just feel like saying to any guys who think its cool to fight and to throw down just think of the consequences. Of course any competitor doesn't want that to happen and it's always a huge risk but I think people need to start seeing the consequences of fighting.

Sorry everyone just an old man freaking out I guess but that match screwed with me badly with all the fights I've been a part of or watched or coached or refereed none made me feel like this.

Hey there HH, wow this sound like it have affected you even right to your heart and centre.. like others have said, I think you have explained it so we can all understand exactly why it would even if we are not in your position of having seen your friend hurt this way and not felt able to do much to help. Wishes and prayers he make good quick recovery and that you regain your self also my friend xx

ANd well maybe his dad push him and but for reasons he feel is best.. We cannot always know, right? Though I imagine your young friend respect you more as a pal and mentor for not being down on his father even if you do think he is pushy.. just be there for him yes? He is lucky to have friend like you who care this much about him.

Anyway hey you do not be blaming your self or even anyone else who be fighting.. we each make our own decision on fighting for whatever reasons we do.. even that is to toughen our sons because we were not tough our selves or maybe it is to please our dads.. there is not always right nor wrong just some times choices we make or are set out for us..

I just like to say to you nothing no matter how difficult or painful is ever in vain if you can see a lesson or learning in it for you. Some time we can be caught so much in our own feeling that we cannot step back see opportunity to take lesson and learn and grow.. Even this way we can be grateful for whatever happen whether we would have chosen it or preferred not to have experienced it at all..

Take care and prayers and wishes to your friend and to you x

 

[wingchun100]

That is awful. A bleed to the brain. And there were many witnesses to how this man pushed his kid to do this? Not that it fixes the kid's physical problems, but this sounds like a situation where CPS should be called. I worked for Office of Children and Family Services for almost 5 years and saw a lot of messed up things. This would count as endangering the welfare of a child.

 

[Headhunter]

That is awful. A bleed to the brain. And there were many witnesses to how this man pushed his kid to do this? Not that it fixes the kid's physical problems, but this sounds like a situation where CPS should be called. I worked for Office of Children and Family Services for almost 5 years and saw a lot of messed up things. This would count as endangering the welfare of a child.

Well he's 17 so not exactly a kid and his dad didn't frog march him into the ring or anything like that but it's the typical thing the parent encouraging to do it even if they don't really want to be there that type of thing at first it was just the training and what I think is his dad genuinely believed he loved it and wanted to do it but I think the kid agreed to the fight so his dad would be happy I believe it was more of a bad misunderstanding between intentions at the end of it

 

[wingchun100]

Well he's 17 so not exactly a kid and his dad didn't frog march him into the ring or anything like that but it's the typical thing the parent encouraging to do it even if they don't really want to be there that type of thing at first it was just the training and what I think is his dad genuinely believed he loved it and wanted to do it but I think the kid agreed to the fight so his dad would be happy I believe it was more of a bad misunderstanding between intentions at the end of it

What state is this in? In NY, 17 is still a child under the care of their parent.

 

[hoshin1600]

I seem to remember hearing that this happens all the time.
When the parent of the fighter is the corner man, they may truly love their child but they are much more hesitant to stop the fight. I would never corner someone I love, train yes, but the corner man should be someone not emotionally vested in the outcome of the fight but rather the health and well being of the fighter.
If the boy has a full recovery (which I hope he does) I hope the father acknowledges it's time for him to step down from that role.

 

[Ironbear24]

Sounds like the father needs a kick in the ***. Hopefully there is no permanent damage and they both learn from this, you have to know when you are beat and know when to stop. There is no shame in it as there are a lot of scary things that can happen as a result of trying to be hardheaded.

Were they wearing headgear?

 

[Kickboxer101]

Sounds like the father needs a kick in the ***. Hopefully there is no permanent damage and they both learn from this, you have to know when you are beat and know when to stop. There is no shame in it as there are a lot of scary things that can happen as a result of trying to be hardheaded.

Were they wearing headgear?

Headgear doesn't always make a lot of difference I don't know the exact stuff but I've heard some people say head gear can make things worse personally I find when sparring guys wearing it its easier to hit it because its a bigger target

 

[Ironbear24]

Headgear doesn't always make a lot of difference I don't know the exact stuff but I've heard some people say head gear can make things worse personally I find when sparring guys wearing it its easier to hit it because its a bigger target

I feel like it does, it is less of a sting and more of a push if that makes any sense. It is still going to hurt either way but aren't you less likely to get any sort of fracture? I mean there is padding afterall.

 

[WaterGal]

That's very unfortunate, and I'm sure very scary for you and him and his family. Whenever I go to a Taekwondo tournament, I see at least one young person end up on a stretcher, and it always gets to me even though it's never been anyone I know. I can only imagine if it were a friend's kid or one of my students. I do worry about that sometimes.

Hopefully his dad learned a lesson with this, and hopefully the kid makes a full recovery. If his son ends up okay, and if he decides to continue in martial arts, I think it might be good for you to have some strong words with the dad about getting someone more objective to coach his son.

 

[KenpoMaster805]

On my i opinion i would push my kid to strive hard and do the best he can win or lose TRophy or not I wouldn't wanna push to the extend that he cant do it anymore thats not right on my opinion.

 

[WaterGal]

I feel like it does, it is less of a sting and more of a push if that makes any sense. It is still going to hurt either way but aren't you less likely to get any sort of fracture? I mean there is padding afterall.

I feel like we need a sports medicine doctor or someone like that to weigh in on this.....

I know I've seen people get TKO'd while wearing headgear (also face injuries) in TKD competitions. But would those people have been injured more seriously if they hadn't been wearing gear? I think probably.

 

[JowGaWolf]

17 is still a minor in my neck of the woods.

 

[Ironbear24]

I feel like we need a sports medicine doctor or someone like that to weigh in on this.....

I know I've seen people get TKO'd while wearing headgear (also face injuries) in TKD competitions. But would those people have been injured more seriously if they hadn't been wearing gear? I think probably.

I think with TKD heavy contact sparring that is more likely to have these injuries because of the kicks to the head. A kick is naturally going to have more power it than if it were a punch. I think they would be worse off if they had no head gear, I myself play a little more cautious when I have no headgear on and I am not even doing TKD.

 

[JowGaWolf]

I think with TKD heavy contact sparring that is more likely to have these injuries because of the kicks to the head. A kick is naturally going to have more power it than if it were a punch. I think they would be worse off if they had no head gear, I myself play a little more cautious when I have no headgear on and I am not even doing TKD.

I wonder if it's the same science as wearing a helmet on a motorcycle or one in baseball or football vs not wearing one.

 

[wingchun100]

17 is still a minor in my neck of the woods.

Mine too...