However I wasn't rude to you, it was an indication of how I felt reading the OP, you have chosen to feel offended, no rules have been broken.
Patience Vs. Efficiency
- Thread starter PhotonGuy
- Start date
However I wasn't rude to you, it was an indication of how I felt reading the OP, you have chosen to feel offended, no rules have been broken.
Steve
Mostly Harmless
So, in a nutshell, you find people who are offended by words offensive?
Is feeling offended different from being offended?
- Thread Starter
- #63
Yes I've come to realize that and that's what the purpose of this thread was.
- Thread Starter
- #64
Well then, might I ask you why you feel about my first post like Captain Picard slapping his forehead?
I believe others have explained it to very succinctly and I don't think my repeating what they have said will improve your understanding as you seem to have ignored what they've kindly contributed to your thread.
Well, good analogies can be. But that doesn't really apply here...
Analogies work best when one party has a thorough understanding of a topic and wishes to impart that knowledge to someone with less understanding of the topic. Even then they are often a less efficient mode of transmission than direct description.
When the person using the analogy has a poor understanding of the topic, that poor understanding leads them to choose irrelevant or inappropriate analogies, which only serves to complicate matters. Anyone disagreeing with them is faced not only with the clearing up original poor understanding of the point, but also having to explain why the analogy is poor. In the worst cases, the poor selection of analogy causes misunderstanding of the point originally being made.
I generally find actually directly describing things to be more effective than using analogies, especially when when coming from a weaker position experience wise.
It's also more efficient to ask questions than make statements, as incorrect statements lead to a conversation about what is incorrect, whereas questions lead to discussion of what is correct.
If you feel that someone has violated the rules, use the RTM button. Don't complain or whine in a thread. We do have a moderation team that monitors and assesses rule violations, y'know... We don't discuss any action taken against individual members with other members.
Danny T
Senior Master
So, in a nutshell, you find people who are offended by words offensive?
Nope. That is not what I wrote.
The meaning of my words are; if you are offended by words you are weak. If one is offended by another persons words it is because they are weak within themselves. Words only hurt those who allow themselves to be hurt by them.
[QUOTE="Tez3, post: 1685471, member: 10553"being offended is what as known as a narcissistic injury.[/QUOTE]
This isn't my opinion, it's a term used by psychiatrists and psychologists, look it up before you 'disgree' with me.
This isn't my opinion, it's a term used by psychiatrists and psychologists, look it up before you 'disgree' with me.
- Thread Starter
- #72
However it is not against the rules to express exasperation.[/QUOTE]
And how about if they don't mean any harm in what they say, should you get exasperated with them then?
drop bear
Sr. Grandmaster
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2014
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blaming the victim?
Steve
Mostly Harmless
I'm honestly at a loss as to how to respond. How about this. Go into a diverse neighborhood and try this out. Use a few racial slurs on people of appropriate ethnicity and then suggest to them that if they are offended by your words because they are weak. See how that works out for you.
Words matter because of what they represent, good or bad. It's not the words that are offensive. It's what the words stand for. And to suggest that you are above being offended doesn't indicate that you are strong. Rather, it suggests to me apathy, ignorance, naivete and immaturity.
And how about if they don't mean any harm in what they say, should you get exasperated with them then?[/QUOTE]
Why shouldn't someone get exasperated? Intending harm or not has absolutely nothing to do with it. If someone keeps repeating themselves it is exasperating, you cannot demand patience just because it's you and you think we should play your game.
- Thread Starter
- #76
Why shouldn't someone get exasperated? Intending harm or not has absolutely nothing to do with it. If someone keeps repeating themselves it is exasperating, you cannot demand patience just because it's you and you think we should play your game.[/QUOTE]
This time I was not repeating myself. I was posting on how my view of patience has changed. But you failed to notice that.
Is there a triple facepalm meme, by any chance?
Danny T
Senior Master
Yea.
It’s the old; “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” thing.
I am a very respectful person Steve and don’t go about purposely speaking to hurt others.
Thing is those who are offended simply by words are either wanting to be offended or their being offended is a weakness. That weakness is used often by others to shape their thoughts and actions. That weakness allows their emotions to override logical thought. It takes a strong person mentally to not allow their emotions to control their thoughts and subsequent actions.
We all have periods of weakness and emotions do takeover. Happens to us all and yes it is a point of weakness. I stand behind my statement that if one is offended by words then you are weak and Yes, I have been weak many times in my life.
In conversation it is all about context, timing, and tone.
When one allows words to offend one’s self you are showing ignorance and immaturity and in all honesty I find it a bit comical. It is seen often and causes great consternation in families, politics, religions, friendships, and all other aspects of life. If you allow words to be only that, words; conversation and discussion can be held. When one becomes offended then there is only argument or fighting.
If anyone says something and I am offended then it is me allowing those words to offend me. I also believe one of the very best ways to deal with someone attempting to offend me is to not be offended. Don’t allow them to get to you.
Danny T
Senior Master
If you don't allow the words to offend there is no victim.
Steve
Mostly Harmless
Now your suggesting that emotions are weakness? Lol. Okay. I think you're a little off the rails. For what it's worth, your opinion is not uncommon among young, white dudes who want to feel better about saying things they know they probably shouldn't. At least, that's been my experience.
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