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But I don't put that blame on martial art teachers. It's the way society is today.
If you invoke "society today" you are invoking political viewpoints.
In schools now we have non competitive sports days where everyone's a winner or cross county races where no one gets timed and everyone gets a medal. People are to afraid to tell a kid they lost. They think it'll upset a kid if they lose and it'll damage their self confidence.
To me that's nonsense. You win or you lose it's as simple as that. A kid loses a running race oh well suck it up life goes on.
Not all kids are the same, many do have their confidence crushed and drop out of things they might otherwise be good at.
Each child learns to manage defeat and disappointment at different rates so there's no way to know if your feeding into their issues or having no effect at all.
As I and others pointed out, winners and losers aren't diminished based on who gets a certificate. The kids still know how they did and feel suitably elated or deflated as a result.
Look at it this way. 20 kids run a race.
1 kid wins and learns that effort gets you a reward and that he/she is awesome.
2 runner ups learn that hard work gets them a reward and either they are nearly awesome but just not talented enough to win.
Now, 17 other children learn that they suck.
You see young kids in a race always put max effort because they don't know how not to. They also don't yet know that they can get better at things, so if they win they are winners and if not they are losers until they are taught otherwise.
But what they don't learn is that putting effort in is waste of time because they lost anyway. [/QUOTE]
It makes the kids think they deserve a reward for doing nothing basically. Why bother putting in the effort when you can just the bare minimum and get the same reward as the guy who won and put 100% In.
Not true, for reasons already discussed.
It's the same in martial arts now. Parents want their kids to think they're great and if they fail they'll leave so instructors will give them the belts so they stay and their confidence stays high.
What you're describing is the failure of the instructors integrity. Parents and students can want whatever they like, if the instructor thinks it's wrong it is up to him to say so and hold his ground.
None of this does kids any good at all in the long run. When they get to adulthood they won't be protected like they were as kids. They'll experience losses in jobs, sports, relationships etc and since they'll have never dealt with this before they won't know how to cope.
Because of the experience at the morally compromised dojo they will never learn any life lessons or lose at anything ever?
Just slightly ridiculous don't you think?
Parents are far more invested in their child's success than you are and judging a life based on one relationship dynamic is stupid.
In the case of such parents you might simply find that they have an idea of when their child that they love and care for daily might be ready for such lessons. After all the notion that anyone is acting this way out of fear of hurting feelings is purely your guess from the outside of the situation.
I remember when I was a kid about 8 I did a running race for sports day I came dead last by a long margin. That was before I started martial arts and frankly I was a lazy git then but losing like that it motivated to get myself better so I started running more.
And if you'd been given a participation medal do you think that would have removed the heartbrake at being the last person to pass the finish line? I don't.