Martial arts testing and society today

[Tez3]

It's not the instructor's fault, per se. Sometimes the kid is so good that the teacher gets jealous and holds the kid back because the instructor doesn't want the kid to grow up to be better than him.

I've actually heard that one once. Sadly, I wish I could have made that delusional excuse up.

I was being sarcastic and quoting from the parent's point of view because it will never be their child that can't do it. Nine times out of ten though a child that is actually that good will be given more training not less because to have a student grow so much better is a point of pride.

 

[JR 137]

I was being sarcastic and quoting from the parent's point of view because it will never be their child that can't do it. Nine times out of ten though a child that is actually that good will be given more training not less because to have a student grow so much better is a point of pride.

I was also being sarcastic, looking through the eyes of an idiot I came across. Thankfully it wasn't a parent in either dojo I've trained in.

There's no shortage of delusional and idiotic parents out there, that's for sure.

And I think we're moving away from the helicopter parents generation, and moving into what my boss called the "snow plow parents." The snow plow parents don't just hover over watching everything, their mentality is push everything in their path out of the way for their child. The rules and obstacles to success still apply to everyone else, just not their kids.

An example: the (academic) school I teach at has the rule that parents aren't allowed past the lobby (pre-k 3 and 4 are the exception). They drop their kids off in the lobby, the kids gather in the gymnasium attached to the lobby, then the kids all walk to class with the teachers. We have an interesting parent who thinks it's a great idea for everyone else but her. She feels entitled to be allowed to walk her 5th grade twin daughters and 7th grade son to the classroom. "My kids have anxiety!" is her battle cry. Funny thing is, on the odd day that their father drops them off, he waves good bye from the lobby like every other parent, and the kids get along just fine. When my boss finally put her foot down after some insane things this mother did and enforced the rule, the mother was seen crying in her car every morning and afternoon by several parents and students. Who's anxiety was the parent addressing?

There's plenty more examples of psychosis I could cite by this new breed of parents. They make us miss the helicopter parents dearly.

 

[PhotonGuy]

I was being sarcastic and quoting from the parent's point of view because it will never be their child that can't do it. Nine times out of ten though a child that is actually that good will be given more training not less because to have a student grow so much better is a point of pride.

It can be hard to tell when a person is being sarcastic if they do it in writing.

 

[Tez3]

It can be hard to tell when a person is being sarcastic if they do it in writing.

Not when you understand the meaning of the whole paragraph.

 

[Hyoho]

There's no shortage of delusional and idiotic parents out there, that's for sure.

There's plenty more examples of psychosis I could cite by this new breed of parents. They make us miss the helicopter parents dearly.

Working in guidance for years I quickly realized at meetings that most of the time it was the parents that needed guidance, not the kids.

 

[JR 137]

Working in guidance for years I quickly realized at meetings that most of the time it was the parents that needed guidance, not the kids.

Absolutely. There's two sayings that have become so ingrained in my vocabulary since I started teaching...

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

There's very few absolutes in life, but those two sayings are about as close as it gets.

 

[Hyoho]

Absolutely. There's two sayings that have become so ingrained in my vocabulary since I started teaching...

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

There's very few absolutes in life, but those two sayings are about as close as it gets.

When I first started we had no PTA. When that started and staff visited homes we soon found found out why some kids were unstable

 

[Tez3]

Working in guidance for years I quickly realized at meetings that most of the time it was the parents that needed guidance, not the kids.

Children and pets, often pets are interchangeable with children for some adults but always the adult's fault outside things like autism.

 

[JR 137]

When I first started we had no PTA. When that started and staff visited homes we soon found found out why some kids were unstable

The school I teach at is a very small private school. I teach grades 4-8 science, along with pre-k and kindergarten physical education. Therefore I really get to know the kids and their parents quite well opposed to many teachers who teach a kid for 1 year. The better I get to know all parties involved, the more I realize how much the family/home dynamics I'm seeing in the classroom. The less issues I see in the family/the more stable the home environment, the better they do, academically and perhaps more importantly socially.

Children and pets, often pets are interchangeable with children for some adults but always the adult's fault outside things like autism.

Not that I'm assigning fault in instances like Autism nor other disabilities by any means, but quite often when a kid has conditions like these, I've seen similar tendencies in a parent or even both parents. I'm quite often reminded that these things don't just come from nowhere. I know that sounds bad, but it's something I've seen often.

Most of my students' parents are very well intentioned. When I see behavioral issues, quite often it's not because the parents don't try, it's because there's a lack of consistency and/or follow through with enforcement of the rules.

This is all anecdotal. But when I see the same things over and over and over again, it's hard to ignore and not come to certain conclusions based on the repeated observations.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

The school I teach at is a very small private school. I teach grades 4-8 science, along with pre-k and kindergarten physical education. Therefore I really get to know the kids and their parents quite well opposed to many teachers who teach a kid for 1 year. The better I get to know all parties involved, the more I realize how much the family/home dynamics I'm seeing in the classroom. The less issues I see in the family/the more stable the home environment, the better they do, academically and perhaps more importantly socially.



Not that I'm assigning fault in instances like Autism nor other disabilities by any means, but quite often when a kid has conditions like these, I've seen similar tendencies in a parent or even both parents. I'm quite often reminded that these things don't just come from nowhere. I know that sounds bad, but it's something I've seen often.

Most of my students' parents are very well intentioned. When I see behavioral issues, quite often it's not because the parents don't try, it's because there's a lack of consistency and/or follow through with enforcement of the rules.

This is all anecdotal. But when I see the same things over and over and over again, it's hard to ignore and not come to certain conclusions based on the repeated observations.

There appears to be a genetic component to Autism, so perhaps the parents you saw were on the spectrum, too.

 

[Steve]

I was also being sarcastic, looking through the eyes of an idiot I came across. Thankfully it wasn't a parent in either dojo I've trained in.

There's no shortage of delusional and idiotic parents out there, that's for sure.

And I think we're moving away from the helicopter parents generation, and moving into what my boss called the "snow plow parents." The snow plow parents don't just hover over watching everything, their mentality is push everything in their path out of the way for their child. The rules and obstacles to success still apply to everyone else, just not their kids.

An example: the (academic) school I teach at has the rule that parents aren't allowed past the lobby (pre-k 3 and 4 are the exception). They drop their kids off in the lobby, the kids gather in the gymnasium attached to the lobby, then the kids all walk to class with the teachers. We have an interesting parent who thinks it's a great idea for everyone else but her. She feels entitled to be allowed to walk her 5th grade twin daughters and 7th grade son to the classroom. "My kids have anxiety!" is her battle cry. Funny thing is, on the odd day that their father drops them off, he waves good bye from the lobby like every other parent, and the kids get along just fine. When my boss finally put her foot down after some insane things this mother did and enforced the rule, the mother was seen crying in her car every morning and afternoon by several parents and students. Who's anxiety was the parent addressing?

There's plenty more examples of psychosis I could cite by this new breed of parents. They make us miss the helicopter parents dearly.

I've seen things like this, too, but I think it's a little early to identify it as a trend. Some folks have issues.

This post resonates, though. At Disney world, there are so many different families all smushed together. Most are pleasant and polite. Some are looking for every advantage they can get.

 

[JR 137]

There appears to be a genetic component to Autism, so perhaps the parents you saw were on the spectrum, too.

When I see those, I'm mostly thinking of the people who if you casually talked to them for a few minutes here and there, you wouldn't think anything was out of place. But once you get to know them beyond the casual and non-personal level, you start to pick up on subtitles that become more apparent.

As far as genetic, I think the rule in the medical field is they can't call something genetic until they identify the gene or genes responsible for it. Classic example is polycystic kidney disease (PKD). My maternal grandmother and 8 out of her 9 children all have the disease. For decades they were told it was coincidental and not genetic. Until they identified the gene. Fortunately it's a dominant gene, so no one is a carrier without developing the disease.

My cousin's son is autistic. My cousin and his wife don't have any traits. But my cousin's father? He a "very odd guy" and reportedly didn't speak a word until he was 6. Growing up when he did and in Beirut, Lebanon, Autism wasn't exactly something people were looking for. My cousin looked at me like I had 3 heads when I suggested his father was on the spectrum (after his son was diagnosed). After I talked about his father's traits, the lightbulb went off. Stuff like this doesn't just come from nowhere.

 

[Steve]

When I see those, I'm mostly thinking of the people who if you casually talked to them for a few minutes here and there, you wouldn't think anything was out of place. But once you get to know them beyond the casual and non-personal level, you start to pick up on subtitles that become more apparent.

As far as genetic, I think the rule in the medical field is they can't call something genetic until they identify the gene or genes responsible for it. Classic example is polycystic kidney disease (PKD). My maternal grandmother and 8 out of her 9 children all have the disease. For decades they were told it was coincidental and not genetic. Until they identified the gene. Fortunately it's a dominant gene, so no one is a carrier without developing the disease.

My cousin's son is autistic. My cousin and his wife don't have any traits. But my cousin's father? He a "very odd guy" and reportedly didn't speak a word until he was 6. Growing up when he did and in Beirut, Lebanon, Autism wasn't exactly something people were looking for. My cousin looked at me like I had 3 heads when I suggested his father was on the spectrum (after his son was diagnosed). After I talked about his father's traits, the lightbulb went off. Stuff like this doesn't just come from nowhere.

I'm a firm believer in genetic memory.

 

[Tez3]

Autism spectrum disorder - Causes - NHS Choices

 

[Gerry Seymour]

When I see those, I'm mostly thinking of the people who if you casually talked to them for a few minutes here and there, you wouldn't think anything was out of place. But once you get to know them beyond the casual and non-personal level, you start to pick up on subtitles that become more apparent.

As far as genetic, I think the rule in the medical field is they can't call something genetic until they identify the gene or genes responsible for it. Classic example is polycystic kidney disease (PKD). My maternal grandmother and 8 out of her 9 children all have the disease. For decades they were told it was coincidental and not genetic. Until they identified the gene. Fortunately it's a dominant gene, so no one is a carrier without developing the disease.

My cousin's son is autistic. My cousin and his wife don't have any traits. But my cousin's father? He a "very odd guy" and reportedly didn't speak a word until he was 6. Growing up when he did and in Beirut, Lebanon, Autism wasn't exactly something people were looking for. My cousin looked at me like I had 3 heads when I suggested his father was on the spectrum (after his son was diagnosed). After I talked about his father's traits, the lightbulb went off. Stuff like this doesn't just come from nowhere.

I'm not sure there's a hard and fast rule among scientists. I've read discussions of the "genetic component" that seems apparent. They likely won't call it conclusively genetic until they isolate the gene, because there are so many other shared variables. Like with your family and PKD. They (mother and kids) shared some environmental and dietary circumstances, so it would be difficult to determine (on that sample) whether the cause is genetic or circumstantial. It's the same kind of problem that's run into with nature vs. nurture discussions.

 

[shihansmurf]

This thread took some interesting drifts. To attempt to address the OP if I can remember it clearly after all this.

I have specific performance measures that I have tied to each rank. White to yellow requires the student to be able to settle into a fighting stance whilst landing a punch or a block, for example. Yellow with a stripe requires being able to do so while going from a natural position into a cat stance or a lunge stance. All of the belt levels have a hard performance measure associated with it and I don't promote until the student can perform it. My job it to teach karate, not life skills, philosophy, character development, or anything else. Students don't come to me for that. I've had much better results with my students once I've understood that I am a coach.

Just my view.
Mark

DO I get a participation ribbon for this thread?