Well, let's see. I'll use myself and my friends as a response to the topic.
Myself: Philosophy major with plenty of computer experience, a trucker, a former break dancer, and in high school I got varsity letters in Football and Wrestling. But I was also in choir and drama, was on a first name basis with the librarian. And I dated. A lot. Never was a bully, and I was too popular and generalized to be a nerd.
Dre: Beat up people for money. Quit after high school. Yeah, ok. He was a bully. But he's better now.
JD: Breakdancer for the Massive Monkees (2006 Breakdancing world champions and have toured with different hip hop artists). Dating the closest thing to Angelina Jolie I'll ever meet. In high school he was doing the same thing, only beating up bullies as well. (Ironically, JD and DRE are best friends now.)
Quinton: arguably the most popular kid in the school in high school, never did sports, and didn't know crap about computers. Now he's a career model and a breakdancer, and a friggin ladies' man.
Jesse: Met him when I joined a singing group he was in. Choir kid, in high school. Now a model, break dancer, and also a friggin ladies' man.
James: He's the closest thing to a nerd we have, but even in high school, no one beat him up because the guy is kinda scary. You'd have to meet him to know what I'm talking about.
Hau-wei: Nerd.
So we have one bully and one nerd out of a group of 7. So much for the false dichotomy. Really, I find making any comparisons between real life and Napoleon Dynamite to be difficult at best.