Funny training moments

[Orion Nebula]

In my last class, we were doing a series of rising blocks and my instructor paused and came up to me. He told me to keep my arm further away from my head and then proceeded to give my arm a good whack. Which of course caused me to hit myself in the forehead. Then he warned me about recoil. It made me laugh a little, and I ended up chuckling about it all night. And now I will block with my forearm further away from my head.

Anyone else have any amusing moments during training?

 

[Christopher Adamchek]

As an instructor ive had nearly identical situations as this when teaching kids their rising high block

Personally i find many funny things happen all the time during training

Just yesterday i was free form knife tapping with one of my students and i went for an axillary cut, and he whirled around giggling cause it tickled

 

[skribs]

I hit one of my students because he wasn't listening. You see, I said "duck".

We have a lot of kids, so there are a ton of these:

• "The reason my knee is hurting...is because I hurt it." (Randomly, nobody even noticed or asked)
• The conversation the 4 & 5 year olds had after we went over the list of sparring gear requirements, and it was mentioned that only boys need a groin cup
• Doing front kicks, on kid is just swinging his leg instead of bringing his knee up first. I told him "bend your knee" and so he bent the plant leg, but still swung the kicking leg, in the most awkward front kick attempt I've ever seen.
• I ask the kids the difference between Form 1 and Form 2. I'm trying to get them to say "Form 2 has kicks". They kept describing how the name of the form is pronounced in Korean.
• When the kids are in their fighting stance and dropping their hands, I'll tell them "hands up." Half the time they'll stick their arms straight out like they're ready to have their belt tied. One kid held his hands straight up like he was surrendering to the police.
• One girl was trying to answer the question of why we practice back fall. The answer we were looking for is "to protect the back of your head when you fall backwards." The answer she gave was something along the lines of, "because your feet are stronger than your head, so if someone punches you get your head out of the way and put your feet in the way, because it won't hurt your feet as much."
• We had plenty of time before the white belt class, and this young girl asked me to tie her belt for her. I kept tying her belt wrong (on purpose, like up near her armpits, down at her knees, like a seatbelt) and every time she would tell me " no, that's not right!" and laugh. For the next 5 minutes she kept laughing about how funny it was that I kept tying her belt wrong.
• Plenty of the more flexible kids have kneed themselves in the face doing an ax kick.
• Speaking of "Ax kick" a lot of the kids still pronounce their "x" like "ss".
• I overheard two teenage girls talking and I heard "no, we probably won't learn how to use batarangs here." (They sounded excited when I said we have one class where we sometimes use lightsabers).
• If my Mom (who is also a black belt at my school) can't get someone to tap, she'll tickle them. It doesn't matter if they're a Staff Sergeant in the army and in way better shape than her.
• Doing knife defense, another student made me drop the knife on my foot. Good thing it wasn't a real knife.
• After a take-down, a student was supposed to pin my arm and punch me. Instead, this student turned around and farted on me. That student is my mom.

The funniest moments, to me, are when we give kids an order, and they follow what was said, but not what was meant (the "hands up" and "bend your knee" ones above).

 

[JR 137]

The funniest moments, to me, are when we give kids an order, and they follow what was said, but not what was meant (the "hands up" and "bend your knee" ones above).

Teaching physical education, I’ve never had my own student teacher, but I’ve helped quite a few who were working under colleagues to give them a different perspective. The most common thing I’ve heard from them is “the kids aren’t doing what I told them.” Pretty much every time my reply was “They’re doing EXACTLY what you told them. The problem is you weren’t specific enough, so they’re filling in the blanks.” I always got that “you’re absolutely right” look. The younger they are, the more specific you have to be. I currently teach pre-k 3 and 4, and a kindergarten PE class. Talk about having to be specific Although, I entertain myself and whichever TA is in the gym with their class by occasionally not being specific just to see where it goes and to have a good laugh. Works every time.

One time a new TA was all frustrated because the kids weren’t getting the concept of the game we were playing. She tries to correct them and you could just see the anger in her eyes from hearing me say the same thing at least 100 times. I go over to her and say “of course it’s a disaster. They’re 3. They’re not going to get the concept in 20 minutes. Let them have fun with it. They’ll get it eventually. It’s called organized chaos.” 5 minutes later she’s still got the look and still can’t handle the kids not doing what she thinks they should be doing, so I say “They’re not going to get it for a few classes. Now get off my floor so I can teach.” She’s sat in the corner and only gotten up to take kids to the bathroom since then, going on 4 years now, so it worked out for everyone.

 

[skribs]

Teaching physical education, I’ve never had my own student teacher, but I’ve helped quite a few who were working under colleagues to give them a different perspective. The most common thing I’ve heard from them is “the kids aren’t doing what I told them.” Pretty much every time my reply was “They’re doing EXACTLY what you told them. The problem is you weren’t specific enough, so they’re filling in the blanks.” I always got that “you’re absolutely right” look. The younger they are, the more specific you have to be. I currently teach pre-k 3 and 4, and a kindergarten PE class. Talk about having to be specific Although, I entertain myself and whichever TA is in the gym with their class by occasionally not being specific just to see where it goes and to have a good laugh. Works every time.

One time a new TA was all frustrated because the kids weren’t getting the concept of the game we were playing. She tries to correct them and you could just see the anger in her eyes from hearing me say the same thing at least 100 times. I go over to her and say “of course it’s a disaster. They’re 3. They’re not going to get the concept in 20 minutes. Let them have fun with it. They’ll get it eventually. It’s called organized chaos.” 5 minutes later she’s still got the look and still can’t handle the kids not doing what she thinks they should be doing, so I say “They’re not going to get it for a few classes. Now get off my floor so I can teach.” She’s sat in the corner and only gotten up to take kids to the bathroom since then, going on 4 years now, so it worked out for everyone.

Do you have any examples of what you've said and how it's been taken?

 

[skribs]

The funniest moments, to me, are when we give kids an order, and they follow what was said, but not what was meant (the "hands up" and "bend your knee" ones above).

Addendum: this does not only apply to kids. There is a man who I think is late 30s, early 40s. We were doing Koryo Hyung, and at this point he's in a horse stance looking left. My Master wanted him to move away from the wall, so he said "move back". My master meant to move back relative to where is looking (to the right of the room), but he moved back relative to his body position (to the rear of the room).

It's still funny when someone follows directions as said - but wrongly - even if the person is older than me!

 

[JR 137]

Do you have any examples of what you've said and how it's been taken?

Somehow I forgot to answer you. Off the top of my head (keeping in mind they’re 3-5 year olds)...

I have them do relay races. I’ll put them in a few lines with a few people in each line. Around 4x4. I’ll explain run down to the other side, touch the wall, run back, slap your partner’s hand, then he/she’ll run. What happens most often? They’ll do that correctly, but will run again with the person they slapped hands with. I’ll say go to the end of the line after you slap their hand, and they’ll do that then run again. I’ve tired everything - have them holding things and passing them to each other instead of slapping hands then telling them only the person holding it runs, but it doesn’t work.

I’ve had a few hold things together. I’ve had a few hold hands after high fiving or passing things. I just laugh and go with it.

Then I try relay races on scooters, same way, only one scooter per line. They’ll give up the scooter and then run. Or push their teammate. Stuff like that.

Of course I’ve had kids not want to give up the scooter or toy they had. I’ve had quite a few years over that and losing.

We play a game where they’re divided into two teams, with cones dividing at mid court. I throw out a bunch of balls and have them simply pick up a ball and throw it to the other side. No going across the line. The younger ones throw it then chase it to the other side, saying that’s their ball. I tell them to just get another ball, so they’ll grab one close to them and then chase the original ball too. It’s a disaster for about 3-4 classes. The best one was when I combined a few classes and had about 30 three year olds in together. I make it really easy for me to tell who’s supposed to be on which side by having girls vs boys. I’ll tell them girls stay on this side and boys stay on that side. I say don’t go past the cones. And sure enough, a few kids will go around them by walking along the wall to get to the other side. When I remind them not to go past the cones, several will say “I didn’t go past them, I went around them. Gotta give it to them, they’re pretty smart.

 

[skribs]

Somehow I forgot to answer you. Off the top of my head (keeping in mind they’re 3-5 year olds)...

I have them do relay races. I’ll put them in a few lines with a few people in each line. Around 4x4. I’ll explain run down to the other side, touch the wall, run back, slap your partner’s hand, then he/she’ll run. What happens most often? They’ll do that correctly, but will run again with the person they slapped hands with. I’ll say go to the end of the line after you slap their hand, and they’ll do that then run again. I’ve tired everything - have them holding things and passing them to each other instead of slapping hands then telling them only the person holding it runs, but it doesn’t work.

I’ve had a few hold things together. I’ve had a few hold hands after high fiving or passing things. I just laugh and go with it.

Then I try relay races on scooters, same way, only one scooter per line. They’ll give up the scooter and then run. Or push their teammate. Stuff like that.

Of course I’ve had kids not want to give up the scooter or toy they had. I’ve had quite a few years over that and losing.

We play a game where they’re divided into two teams, with cones dividing at mid court. I throw out a bunch of balls and have them simply pick up a ball and throw it to the other side. No going across the line. The younger ones throw it then chase it to the other side, saying that’s their ball. I tell them to just get another ball, so they’ll grab one close to them and then chase the original ball too. It’s a disaster for about 3-4 classes. The best one was when I combined a few classes and had about 30 three year olds in together. I make it really easy for me to tell who’s supposed to be on which side by having girls vs boys. I’ll tell them girls stay on this side and boys stay on that side. I say don’t go past the cones. And sure enough, a few kids will go around them by walking along the wall to get to the other side. When I remind them not to go past the cones, several will say “I didn’t go past them, I went around them. Gotta give it to them, they’re pretty smart.

One of the things that happens quite often is we have the kids lined up. We typically line them up 2 meters away from each other (based on the lines on the mat). However, you'll get one kid who "kick and step forward" means either "kick and put my foot back" or "kick and step forward 1 inch in front of my other foot." Meanwhile, to the kid behind him, "kick and step forward" means "run 5 steps, kick 3 times, run forward two steps and kick 2 more times". The job of the assistant instructors in that class largely comes down to crowd control so you don't have people kicking the person in front of them. (This is the 4-5 year old white belts, mostly).

Although your story reminds me of a Three Kings Day party I went to at one of my students' houses. The kids took an empty room and laid hockey sticks in the middle of the room to make a line for dodgeball. One kid busted his lip because he leaned forward too far and lost his balance and smacked his face on the hockey stick. (This kid is like 9 years old). I asked him a few days later how he was doing, and apparently he was getting props at his school, because people would ask "what happened to your face?" And he'd say "hockey stick" and leave it at that.

 

[Orion Nebula]

These are all really great. I've never been in (or observed) a kids class, nor have I spent much time around children other than my niece. But I'm not surprised, either.

 

[skribs]

During class today, we're doing kicks up and down the mat. I looked at the kid next to me and said "I added a rocket boost to some of those kicks."

 

[skribs]

We have x-ray paper we use as targets for kicks. They make a nice popping sound when you kick them. (You can also wave them at kids to get their attention). One kid kicked the paper out of my hand, and it floated above us for a second. When I went to grab the paper, it dipped down and nose-dived, and bonked me right on the nose!

Today I was rolling up a kid's legs so he wouldn't trip over his pants. I was on his left leg, he was punching with his right hand. He almost elbowed me in the nose with his left arm!

 

[Balrog]

I hit one of my students because he wasn't listening. You see, I said "duck".

We have a lot of kids, so there are a ton of these:

• "The reason my knee is hurting...is because I hurt it." (Randomly, nobody even noticed or asked)
• The conversation the 4 & 5 year olds had after we went over the list of sparring gear requirements, and it was mentioned that only boys need a groin cup
• Doing front kicks, on kid is just swinging his leg instead of bringing his knee up first. I told him "bend your knee" and so he bent the plant leg, but still swung the kicking leg, in the most awkward front kick attempt I've ever seen.
• I ask the kids the difference between Form 1 and Form 2. I'm trying to get them to say "Form 2 has kicks". They kept describing how the name of the form is pronounced in Korean.
• When the kids are in their fighting stance and dropping their hands, I'll tell them "hands up." Half the time they'll stick their arms straight out like they're ready to have their belt tied. One kid held his hands straight up like he was surrendering to the police.
• One girl was trying to answer the question of why we practice back fall. The answer we were looking for is "to protect the back of your head when you fall backwards." The answer she gave was something along the lines of, "because your feet are stronger than your head, so if someone punches you get your head out of the way and put your feet in the way, because it won't hurt your feet as much."
• We had plenty of time before the white belt class, and this young girl asked me to tie her belt for her. I kept tying her belt wrong (on purpose, like up near her armpits, down at her knees, like a seatbelt) and every time she would tell me " no, that's not right!" and laugh. For the next 5 minutes she kept laughing about how funny it was that I kept tying her belt wrong.
• Plenty of the more flexible kids have kneed themselves in the face doing an ax kick.
• Speaking of "Ax kick" a lot of the kids still pronounce their "x" like "ss".
• I overheard two teenage girls talking and I heard "no, we probably won't learn how to use batarangs here." (They sounded excited when I said we have one class where we sometimes use lightsabers).
• If my Mom (who is also a black belt at my school) can't get someone to tap, she'll tickle them. It doesn't matter if they're a Staff Sergeant in the army and in way better shape than her.
• Doing knife defense, another student made me drop the knife on my foot. Good thing it wasn't a real knife.
• After a take-down, a student was supposed to pin my arm and punch me. Instead, this student turned around and farted on me. That student is my mom.

The funniest moments, to me, are when we give kids an order, and they follow what was said, but not what was meant (the "hands up" and "bend your knee" ones above).

Those are hilarious. I was talking to a fellow instructor at a tournament recently and she told me about one of her kids, about 6 or so, who came in without his uniform.
Instructor: "Where's your uniform?"
Kid: "Mom says I have to sit and watch the class, but I can't take part in it."
Instructor; "Why did she tell you that?"
Kid: "Because I said f**k"

 

[donald1]

One time when I was doing a Bo form I accidentally threw my Bo across the room. Nobody was hit by it but it did startle a couple people including myself.

One time at a seminar we were going over a nunchaku form (I had my wooden pair). Without going into detail I'm just gonna say I'm glad I had my cup... The whole room went silent for like thirty seconds.

One time the instructor was demonstrating a form in front of class and ripped his gi pants.

 

[skribs]

One time when I was doing a Bo form I accidentally threw my Bo across the room. Nobody was hit by it but it did startle a couple people including myself.

One time at a seminar we were going over a nunchaku form (I had my wooden pair). Without going into detail I'm just gonna say I'm glad I had my cup... The whole room went silent for like thirty seconds.

One time the instructor was demonstrating a form in front of class and ripped his gi pants.

This reminds me of a few fart-related stories:

• I was leading stretching, and someone farted REALLY loud. The kids kept accusing each other trying to figure out who it was. I didn't have the heart to admit it was me.
• During defense drills, my partner was supposed to defend my punch, take me down, and then punch me. My partner instead turned around and farted on me. The worst part is, this was my Mom.

Those are hilarious. I was talking to a fellow instructor at a tournament recently and she told me about one of her kids, about 6 or so, who came in without his uniform.
Instructor: "Where's your uniform?"
Kid: "Mom says I have to sit and watch the class, but I can't take part in it."
Instructor; "Why did she tell you that?"
Kid: "Because I said f**k"

I'm in a KKW Taekwondo school, and our uniforms are for World Taekwondo Federation. I'm shaking the kids' hands after class, and this girl (about 8 years old) sees the "WTF" logo on my shirt and says "do you know WTF means a bad word?"
Her Mom, who did not realize why she was bringing this up, was thoroughly embarrassed!

 

[donald1]

This reminds me of a few fart-related stories:

• I was leading stretching, and someone farted REALLY loud. The kids kept accusing each other trying to figure out who it was. I didn't have the heart to admit it was me.
• During defense drills, my partner was supposed to defend my punch, take me down, and then punch me. My partner instead turned around and farted on me. The worst part is, this was my Mom.

I'm in a KKW Taekwondo school, and our uniforms are for World Taekwondo Federation. I'm shaking the kids' hands after class, and this girl (about 8 years old) sees the "WTF" logo on my shirt and says "do you know WTF means a bad word?"
Her Mom, who did not realize why she was bringing this up, was thoroughly embarrassed!

I've never farted on anyone but I have been in a similar situation. We we're sitting in splits or close as possible if you can't. We each had a partner and they push against your back while you stretch forward. Unlike you I wasn't so lucky. Everyone In the room knew it was me. I even got a few looks from all around the class.

 

[skribs]

Yesterday, I was standing at the back of the mat. In the mirror, I saw a black belt that I didn't recognize.

Then I remembered I shaved the day before.

 

[Yokozuna514]

I was at a Knockdown tournament on the weekend watching two women compete. Within 30 seconds one of the women's 'chest guards' popped out and fell on the mat. The sushin stopped the match and allowed her to reinstall the guard. 30 seconds later it popped out again. After another stoppage and reinstallation the match continued but there was no clear winner so an extension was declared. 30 seconds into the match both 'cups' popped out and on the tatami. This time the fighter decided to continue without the guards (as it was full knockdown, she was allowed to continue without them).

She ended up losing the match but now she has a funny story to walk away with along with the bruises.