I think the OP's problem was that he is inexperienced.
possibly true, and yes, inexperience is a big handicap.
Could one not just as easily say "boxing is very effective and only at full blast"? Fill in any art you like.
it's not the same thing. Boxers are both fighting under the SAME RULES. They agree to abide by the rules, they wear gloves that affect how they can attack each other, and they have at it.
However, this is very different from the original post. Nyrotic is primarily a striker. He was horsing around with friends. Some of the friends are grapplers, or at least are instinctive grapplers without formal training. They are both approaching the game, the horse play, with different assumptions. Nyrotic throws a punch that lands, but because these are friends, he pulls his power and doesn't injure them. He is operating under the assumption that his friends will acknowledge and respect that punch, and recognize the fact that they would have been injured if he had not pulled his power back. But because the punch did no actual damage, the friends ignore it, charge in and grapple him down. Grappling techs cannot be ignored, and they are much much easier to execute at less than full power. Grappling has an advantage under horseplay, where nobody wants to really hurt anybody. Grappling techs can be executed to just the level needed to control the opponent without injury. Striking techs don't have this capability. They either injure, or they do not. If they do not, and the other guy chooses to not respect the fact that he just got hit, then it doesn't work.
A comparable situation would be if one boxer always pulled his punches to avoid injury, but the other boxer was landing strikes with full power. Even if the first boxer landed 10 times the strikes, he loses because he pulled back. The other guy who chose to ignore the strikes and then hit back with full power will win. If they are operating under different and unequal rules, it doesn't work.
Under these circumstances, the only choice Nyrotic has if he chooses to engage in such horseplay with friends, is to bloody a few noses and blacken a few eyes until the other guys start to understand what he could do. Maybe then they will respect his side of the game.
This reminds me of an incident that happened when I was a teenager. I had attended a late night youth dance, a friend of mine was horsing around with another guy several years older than us, and who I did not know. I ended up being pulled into the horseplay, the other guy was drunk, and he thought I was starting to push him around. I believe the guy has some Tae Kwon Do training, and at the time I was a green belt in kenpo.
At any rate, it escalated quickly, and he became agressive and beligerent, and started to attack me. I nullified each his attacks, and set him up to really hurt him. But I didn't follow thru on any of them because I wasn't quite certain if he was serious, or if this was still just part of the horseplay. At any rate, I touched his nose with the palm of my hand. Anther time I actually stuck my fingers in and touched the surface of his eyes. Another time I set a tiger claw at his groin and prepared to grab, rip, and tear. Finally I set a tiger claw on his throat and gave a small sqeeze before letting go. Finally the situation de-escalated, we shook hands and went our separate ways. He had no idea what I was setting up on him. Because I chose to not follow thru, he was able to ignore it and keep trying to come in at me.
It was a stupid situation, it could have gotten ugly, and I am glad it ended peacefully. But it serves as a good example of a failure to acknowledge what is happening.