I actually received something of an answer to this post, from within the group.
Today we practiced, as usual, 5 on 5 drill. Essentially one person attacks 5 times, while the other defends, then the defender switches to five offenses, and so on and so forth.
We had a guest, who was unaware of what the drill was. After it was explained, the president of our MA club added the remark (pardon me for not quoting it exactly, but this is essentially what was said) It's also a good drill for getting used to working with Alex, instead of just being thrown in the ring with him.
I specifically strive to remove aggression from contact sparring, so I know it is not the case in my heart that I am striking too hard. I think, unfortunately, I am being given a reputation, which whether due or undue, is the reason behind the lack of fellow practitioners approaching me to spar.
"1. If you are a Head Instructor, you really shouldn't be looking at sparring with your students as a source of good sparring partners. You should be getting that from your peer group, order the supervision of YOUR instructor."
I concur. However, when operating within a group where there is structure for one to advance in certified ranking ( as we all hail from different styles) and most do not attend schools, as they are college students who cannot afford it. So we meet together, and work out together in a space which has been allotted to us on campus. The president of our club, is a brown belt preparing for his shodan in Shotokan. He hardly ever spars, because he can be lethargic at times. We all can be. This is the reason I would like to spar with the people in the club, to help them grow.
2. As the head instructor, you should be focused on TEACHING, not sparring, your students. You provide more benefit to them that way.
Improvements in other's abilities will allow them to have practical insight to my own shortcomings, so that I may grow too. A teacher teaches not because they're better, but so they can learn, and improve as well. At least I try to.
3. You're going to like this the least, but right now, I don't really think you SHOULD be a head instructor.
I assure you, I take no offense from this statement. We have never met, and the exchange we have had, is limited through text. At four of the schools I have attended, within a year I was promoted to head instructor. To each their own, but I have never had a complaint as to my methos. Recall the subject of this is that I have been noting a recent, ongoing trend. Not that something was brought to my attention by someone else, or by a specific incident.
A. You are still in the process of reaching maturity: physically, psychologically, and physiologically. That causes problems when trying to deal with interpersonal issues or discipline for students your that are your age or those any less than twelve years younger than you, for a variety of reasons.
In many ways, who I am in the dojo is very different from who I am outside, at least when teachings. I will not tell jokes as often, nor try to humor the students. I put on my business face, so to speak, though I carry the spirit of my martial arts with me everywhere.
When I teach martial arts, or do any martial arts, I choose to interact with those who are mature enough to be taught. If someone who is 60 will not take what I have to offer because of my age, that is their choice, but you will find, in person, that age is probably the least of a factor to worry about concerning me.
Yes, I am 22, and in certain aspects, many, I act that way. But when it comes to martial arts... it's something important enough to me that I do check my emotions, my baggage... me, at the door, to the extent I can.
I'd like to say I completely do, but at the club I teach at we are a mature enough group that we can jest with each other about our backgrounds, or cultural differences. I think the seriousness and severity of martial arts must be tempered by humor. Hence why I enjoy Rus button so much.
B. From the way you write, it seems you are still developing the ability to clearly communicate your thoughts.
Give it a month and you'll find the eloquence much more appealing. Unfortunantely I am not used to communicating with martial artists in such numbers, so it has caused a bit of consternation for me in choosing what I would like to say. But I will never not admit when I am wrong, or when I have erred in communicating, and will always do my best to rectify that err.
C. Even if you were adept at communicating your thought, it sounds like you have some gross misconceptions about what makes for good martial arts. For instance, throwing seven punches in a second isn't really a feat of skill. My wife can do that untrained. In any event, if there isn't any kinetic energy transferred in the punch, all seven punches are useless.
I would not call it a punch, if there was not reason to. My own standard is that each strike must fully strike from hip, to full extension (for the sake of the exercise) with enough force to break a one-inch cinderblock. For example, if my hands collide (rarely happen) I'll restart the set from the beginning. The same for if I do not execute a punch properly.
D. This thread is about you not getting something you want for yourself in a class you are supposedly TEACHING. That shows that your focus is on yourself, not your students. That is perfectly fine for a 22 year old student. It's even expected in an assistant instructor. It is unacceptable for a head instructor.
For me, when I posted the thread, it is about how I have noticed a trend, two theories behind that trend, and what other martial artists think. The biggest point behind this thread, in all the conversation, was for the advanced readers to ask if this has ever happened, if they have ever seen it, and how they would handle the situation.
This thread is a lot less about me than one thinks, and moreso about us all growing. That was my intent, we don't always get what we want, though.
And I disagree with you. If teaching, from helping, to master of the dojang, it should be about who you are being taught, and if about you, how you can better teach. Always.
E. It doesn't sound like you have a mentor when it comes to teaching. You might be a fantastic martial artist. That doesn't make you a good teacher. Doesn't even make you a DECENT teacher. Teaching is a separate skill. And that also means you need someone to guide through the pitfalls of teaching, and can see hazards you wouldn't be able to see on your own.
The orginization I am contracter for where I teach martial arts has a nice pay incentive, where for every hour you shadow the head master for teaching, you receive a .05 pay raise, without limit.
I have had many good teachers. I feel I am a decent one, there is always room to grow. I've had multiple children I've taught, recalcitrant when starting, telling me they love martial arts because of the classes they have taken under me. This makes me happy. I am content with my teaching ability if my student enjoys the class, and is learning the techniques and agenda.
4. I wouldn't really focus on the fact you've trained for 20 years. You, quite literally, don't have the body you trained in. You are just now STARTING to grow into your adult body. I don't know if you can possibly understand the importance of that statement, but you need to hear it.
When I mention the length of time I have trained, it is as a reference, not out of pride. I consider 20 years on the low end of training, when in baguazhang some teachers were repudiated to live for centuries, and train for that long. I have not grown in the last 6 years, at least height-wise, and I don't believe I will. If I am like my father at all, my metabolism will begin to slow down considerable between 35-40.
Trust me, I am grateful for being this age, and am aware that I do not have forever with it. It is in part why I train extensively, especially now, while I still have the stamina to do so. I am also lucky I have a body which has more or less adapted for martial arts, in much the same way a gymnasts or avid horse-back riders will. Oddly enough, martial artists do carry their own physical appearance, is just doesn't show as much as others.
5. You still have a long way to go in humility. I am certain you THINK you are being humble with your posts, and you likely ARE more humble than when you are in high school. But if you want to see real humility ask some of these guys making fun of you how they would estimate their own expertise. You would be surprised how many people on here have been training longer than you have been alive. Hell I have been training since I was five and I've only scratched the surface of the martial arts. Barely.
I can see the prudence in this. I have known many people who have trained longer than I have- time is not something I choose to focus on when it comes to martial arts, save that concerning life, there just isn't enough of it to learn everything one desires to.
It is not time, or degree I respect. But ability, and nowhere near as much as one's philosophical insights into the art. Depth of understand, and ability to communicate it is what I value most in people I train with, and learn from.
Some things to think about. I mean you no disrespect, and I don't want to turn you off of the martial arts. But you would do yourself a HUGE favor to be trained under some one with experience, and find people that are better than you to spar with.
Outside of the club there are individuals I train with from past schools, who are on likewise ability level. They are who push me to become better, but then again, when I teach, the desire to communicate correctly what they seek to learn, also is a great incentive to improve, and do well.