Dating in the Dojo

[don bohrer]

I don't think if wise for the head instructor/ owner to date a student. However nothing says the student couldn't take a hiatis from training while they pursue the relationship. I do feel that healthy couples in the dojo are good for everyone.

 

[Kroy]

I think it's great if students want to date, many people come to martial art schools to meet new friends. As long as the smooching is kept outside the dojo.:ladysman: But instructors (if they can) should try and persue a mate on the outside. I know it's difficult because most instructors spend so much time teaching and working that it's hard to meet knew people.

 

[OULobo]

I met my fiancee at college in a martial arts club. We were students together and I later moved into a lead instructor position in the club. We trained together for about 2 years and then started dating. I was her instructor for about 2 years. We continued the relationship and the training when we moved back home (we were both in the Cleveland area and chose to train at the same school) and moved in together a year later. Now we have been together 4+ years and I proposed to her at a demo at our current school after we performed a moro courtship dance. Needless to say it was a hit with all the pilipinos in the house.

 

[Michael Billings]

Very nice story. Congrats and be happy!

 

[Kroy]

Originally posted by OULobo
I met my fiancee at college in a martial arts club. We were students together and I later moved into a lead instructor position in the club. We trained together for about 2 years and then started dating. I was her instructor for about 2 years. We continued the relationship and the training when we moved back home (we were both in the Cleveland area and chose to train at the same school) and moved in together a year later. Now we have been together 4+ years and I proposed to her at a demo at our current school after we performed a moro courtship dance. Needless to say it was a hit with all the pilipinos in the house.

Yes indeed, that was a nice story. Excuse my ignorance but what is a moro courtship dance (Japanese I assume)

 

[OULobo]

Originally posted by Kroy
Yes indeed, that was a nice story. Excuse my ignorance but what is a moro courtship dance (Japanese I assume)

Moro is a term given to the muslum tribes that inhabit the southern islands of the Philippines.

 

[Kroy]

Originally posted by OULobo
Moro is a term given to the muslum tribes that inhabit the southern islands of the Philippines.

Thanks OULobo, learn something new everyday. Is there any web sites out there that I could check it out?

 

[arnisador]

You could also ask in FMA-General. You'll find some info. by searching it.

 

[Damian Mavis]

I basically use my martial arts school as an oppurtunity to pick up woment that normally would have no interest in me. It works out quite well for me, sure when I dump them because a prettier student joined I lose a student but what's one student here and there when I have the oppurtunity to be with so many good looking women out of my league?!..... Ok I'm lying but I do know a few instructors in my city that pretty much do exactly what I described and I find it disgusting.

Damian Mavis
Honour TKD

 

[Kroy]

You had us worried Damian.

 

[Shinzu]

i say why not, but you need to consider the results before you make any hasty decisions.

 

[theletch1]

Dojo dating is a big part of the reason that I left my first school. The instructor had a habit of dating students that seemed to attain rank very quickly when they were completely lost on their material (when a brown II comes to me as a green for how to do a technique in the brown I set there is a problem) as well as several of the mothers of students in the kids class..... then add to that the fact that his WIFE was a student as well and you can see that simple dating was just a wee bit o' the problem.

Even after that horrendous experience I have to say that dating between students isn't necessarily an evil thing. It does, however, require an extraordinary effort to make it work so as not to cause problems with the "cliques" that always form inside a school. As for the instructor dating a student..... this one requires an even greater level of caution because there is such a possibilty of appearing to be too lenient or too hard on your partner.

 

[FUZZYJ692000]

Dating between students can be a heads or tails thing. In some cases it ends badly when they break up and other cases if they split they still remain friends and act like adults and stick it out cause they love what they're doing. It can be messy, like Kenpo Tess said we've lost students due to break ups but that happens. As far as instructor-student, I don't think I'd have a problem with that either as long as there is no special treatment. Once you walk through those doors you're in class not outside. :asian:

 

[TallAdam85]

i think it would be nice to have a girlfriend to train with

 

[liangzhicheng]

Originally posted by TallAdam85
i think it would be nice to have a girlfriend to train with

Couldn't agree with you more, gotta love women who can kick butt :asian:

 

[Cruentus]

Originally posted by TallAdam85
i think it would be nice to have a girlfriend to train with

Me too! (as my nuts get smashed in by my Fiancee)

:btg: :lol:

 

[arnisador]

Thread moved.

-Arnisador
-MT Admin-

 

[Spud]

I was checking out a dojo last night (switching schools and styles) I found it kind of odd that the instructor emphasized the number of nice young ladies in the middle ranks, but didn’t really answer my questions on training material :shrug:

 

[arnisador]

Originally posted by Spud
I was checking out a dojo last night (switching schools and styles) I found it kind of odd that the instructor emphasized the number of nice young ladies in the middle ranks, but didn’t really answer my questions on training material

Sheesh!

One wonders if it's what he thought you would like about the school, or if it's what he likes about the school!

 

[hardheadjarhead]

I met my wife through the martial arts. If there had been a "school rule" against relationships, we'd have likely never hooked up. Our thirteenth anniversary is coming up.

We've had four relationships form and end up as marriages in our school. Only one of them resulted in a divorce...which places that ahead of the national average regarding divorces.

This is what I tell my black belts to keep in mind:

1. The school isn't a meat market. Anybody attempting to make it one is going to take a hike.

2. The sanctity of marriage has to be respected. If one of the two is married, that isn't going to fly.

3. If things go south, keep it out of the school. Had a guy and his wife sign up. Two years later they were splitting up. He tried to recruit people to side with him...I called him into the office and told him to keep his grievances off of the mat and out of the school. He could go and cry in his beer with anyone, anywhere, but not within the boundaries of my place.

Its worked pretty well over the last 12 years.

SCS